Been spending more time at home since the weather is turning cold. Haven’t had any real snow yet, but that probably won’t last long. Avoiding the stores and crowds of holiday shoppers. I have never done well in crowds and it seems to get worse as I age. Found out that one of my local grocery stores offers home delivery. I have used this a few times as I really don’t like driving on crowded streets anymore. Found out I do just fine on rural highways when I went to my parents’ place for Thanksgiving.
Overall I’m feeling pretty stable. Haven’t done much since cleaning my apartment over the weekend. Haven’t really been in the mood to talk to many people, so I keep to myself most of the time. Besides talking to a few friends and my parents, I haven’t had much for a social life for the last week. Now that I have winter supplies stocked again, I really don’t have to leave my complex for at least a few days if I don’t want to.
Between getting out my winter coat and stocking up on cold weather food, I think I’m ready for the next three to four months of winter. Even though spring is my favorite time of year, I’ve also enjoyed winter in years past. I usually get a lot of reading and writing done on cold days. I don’t feel guilty for not wanting to go outside in the cold. I am ready for winter.
My life has been essentially quiet and uneventful since Christmas. We had a pretty cold January and early February so I didn’t really go anywhere except to pick up groceries and house supplies for the last two months. We had our traditional mid winter thaw the last week or so. So I’ve been spending some time outside watching the squirrels and birds. I see the cranes and Canadian geese are starting to migrate back. They are usually quite thick near my town from the last week in February until middle March. I’m going to take a few hours sometime next week and just watch the birds along the Platte River just outside my town like I do every March.
I traditionally love to travel and see new places. But I haven’t been outside of Nebraska since my friend Matt’s wedding almost two years ago. And I can tell that the lack of travel and new experiences are making me stale and itchy. Believe it or not, I really don’t like the sedentary lifestyle. When I still held traditional jobs, I usually did my best at jobs where I was moving a lot and it didn’t matter if I got sweaty or dirty. I admit that since I had the sedentary lifestyle forced on me, first by my car accident and then spending a summer with a messed up back, I have gotten lazy. And by getting lazy I can tell I have lost much of my stamina and enjoyment of just doing simple things like walking around the park or going to the all night deli to pick up some Chinese food. I have recently started going back to the all night deli more often, especially if I’m going to be up late.
I am still not as active as I would like to be, but I can tell that it is beginning to come back. I am traditionally not very active during winters, at least not physically. I usually read a lot and have traditionally done some of my best writing work during the winter. Most of the books I read this winter were about future technology trends and popular science. I also listen to a lot of audiobooks and current events type lectures on youtube. I tend to utilize youtube and my books more in winter than the spring or fall. Traditionally during the summers I do most of my errands in the morning than spend the hottest parts of the afternoon reading and writing. But I still do the bulk of my brain work during the winter.
I can tell that the lack of physical activity and travel is making me easily bored. It is also tough in that I haven’t seen my close friends or family at all since Christmas. I fear that I’m losing my social skills. I don’t socialize much with my neighbors in my complex as I have little in common with them. Most of my neighbors are senior citizens or people with physical disabilities that can’t do much of anything. I don’t know many people in here with mental health issues who are still in reasonably good physical health. It is kind of lonely in here as far as socializing goes. I can also tell that the lack of socializing and physical activity has taken a toll on my physical health. I just hope that once spring sets in a few weeks from now, I’ll be able to get more active again.
Been making some changes in my routines since Christmas. I am getting more physical activity, been eating less meat and more vegetables and rice. I have eaten in restaurants only twice since New Year’s Day. I have changed up my diet quite a bit. I no longer cook a lot of grilled and baked chicken and beef. Instead I pretty much eat mostly rice, vegetables, potatoes, and soup. I still don’t eat much bread. I get most of my carbs anymore through rice and potatoes. Neither potatoes nor rice make me feel as lethargic or bloated as large amounts of bread. Now I absolutely love sub sandwiches, but if I have more than one every couple days I’ll be feeling slow and sluggish.
I have been cleaning my apartment more often. I had been kind of lazy about this for a few months. But since I’m feeling much better and more stable I have found it easier to keep my place cleaner. My place may not make Good Housekeeping, but it’s still better than most college dorm rooms.
I am getting more social activity via Facebook. I had been kind of a ghost on social media besides promoting the blog for months because I didn’t want to be part of political discussions. While it feels good to be back in contact with extending family and college friends, it is unnerving that friendships can be strained by things as petty as political opinions. But I am glad I don’t have to hear about it for another few years.
Haven’t dealt with hallucinations for weeks. Haven’t had problems with delusions for awhile. Haven’t had issues with depression for almost two months. I am getting consistent sleep even though I tend to sleep in until late morning most days. My medications don’t make me sleepy and I think I am more effected by caffeine than I was a few years ago. Finding out the hard way that I just can’t drink as much caffeine as much as I used to. That is another new reality I have to learn to adapt to.
I’m still not venturing out of the complex as much. But it has been quite cold the last few weeks. But I am definitely saving money on gas by not driving as much. I drive only half of what I used to, so I buy gas only once a month anymore. I don’t mind as gas prices are going back up and I can do so much online anymore. I admit I spend a lot of time online anymore, far more than I did even five years ago.
Been reading much more lately. I still like reading about science and technology advances. I am finding that as fast as the advances are coming anymore, the science books I have are starting to become out of date even if they are only a few years old. I am finding out that Bill Gates was right when he said that people overestimate tech advances short term but underestimate them long term. Books I bought that were written even four years ago underestimated some of the advances we are seeing now. So to meet my desire for science and tech news I have to read more online periodicals and science blogs. I always liked science and wanted to make it my career since grade school. I have gotten to where I like reading science sites more than I do watching sports. I know I’m weird.
These are just a few of my new routines now that it’s winter and I’m feeling stability for the first time in months. I’m just enjoying it right now and I’m going to ride this hot streak for all it’s worth.
Now that the holidays have come and passed, I am settling into my winter routines. I find that I am spending much of my day reading online articles and reading books. I don’t play as many computer games as I used to. I’m finding myself dining out less as I’ve had fast food only once in the last week. I’ve been eating less than normal the last week. I can tell I feel less sluggish because I’m not eating so much unhealthy fast food. I do sleep more than I did during the summer. But it does help pass the time when so much of the day is dark and cold. I don’t just go out and drive my car much anymore. While I have conquered my fear of driving I just see no need to do much of it anymore. I fuel my car probably only once a month now. I just see no need to really go anywhere unless it’s necessary. I can do most of my socializing online and via cell phone now.
I’ve been reading on some of the books I bought over the last couple months. I’m reading a lot of online articles too. Just because I don’t have many guests in my apartment doesn’t mean that I don’t socialize. I’m slowly starting to socialize more over Facebook and even in the hallways of my apartment complex. It has been a slow process getting over my paranoia and fear of socializing. And it’s one that’s not completed by any means.
I haven’t seen any regular tv in the last several weeks besides live sports. For a couple weeks around Christmas there were college football bowl games on every night it seemed. I would have a game on in the background most days while I was working online but I wasn’t really paying attention to the games. I guess I just feel guilty about watching young men maim themselves for my enjoyment the older I get. I probably should watch more soccer or basketball until baseball starts again. I just don’t watch a lot of tv. I avoid the news channels as they are mostly negative news that doesn’t effect me. Bad things have been happening all over the world throughout history, it’s just now that we know about it instantly with our communication tech. The world isn’t more violent than in the past, it’s just better informed.
I’m starting to settle into winter routines. Been reading a lot of online articles, been reading my amazon books, been listening to free podcasts through youtube, and I’m generally feeling stable and content since the weather started turning colder. I’m ready to face the winter.