We got several inches of snow over the weekend. Of course with it being mid April the weather warmed up again within a day or two and I didn’t have to shovel my car out of the snow. Hopefully it will warm up for good now. Been spending too much time indoors and avoiding the cold for the last few months. And I think I’m finally getting cabin fever because of it. Took four months but it is finally starting to creep in.
I admit to staying home and not getting out much this winter. Other than a few days at my parents’ house in February I haven’t been outside of my town this winter. I’m glad my town is big enough to have everything I need and good delivery service. Yet it’s small enough it’s easy to navigate around when I’m inclined to want to drive. After many weeks of not wanting to leave my complex, I am now the total opposite. I want to get out and about. I think I’m getting burned out on phone calls, computer games, internet research, keeping in contact via social media, etc. I am ready to get out and interact in person again. I’ve spent enough time hibernating in my “cave.” I need to get out and about again.
Well, our civilization survived another trip around the mother star. It was an interesting year to say the least, at least news wise. For me, it was kind of a quiet year. Other than one breakdown in the early fall, I have been very stable. After twenty years of working with schizophrenia, some of the things I have to do to keep stable have become routine. I have to be more careful than most people about who I associate with and what conversations I take part in. I have been fortunate to have not had psychotic breakdowns in public. I’m scared that if I ever did, I’d at very least end up in jail. So I find myself isolating for much of the time. It has to be a special occasion before I have guests in my apartment and even then it has to be a small and informal gathering. Otherwise I couldn’t handle it.
It’s been very cold for the last week and a half. I haven’t gone out much during this span. So I have been content to stay home, watch some football, play some computer games, etc. I have no plans for New Year’s Eve as it’s going to be too cold to go anywhere. I am starting to get a little tired of always staying home because of the weather. But it’s supposed to warm up some by the end of this week.
One problem I have faced the last several days is a lack of enthusiasm for much of anything. It’s not that I am bored, it’s that I really don’t want to do much of anything. I also now have the problem of not needing much sleep. I’ve needed only five to six hours of sleep a day for the last two weeks. I usually sleep from one a.m. to seven a.m. anymore. But I have been stable enough for the last several months I’ve had some of my medications’ doses reduced. Maybe that is why I don’t need as much sleep. But I still can’t explain my lack of enthusiasm or lack of engagement. I’m feeling unenthusiastic enough that I’m not doing a science and tech year in review post this year. Besides, it isn’t like I got much of a response from those posts anyway.
I’m ending 2017 alone in my apartment simply because of the weather. I just don’t want to go anywhere when it’s this cold. It’s a good day to stay home and stay under the blankets with a cup of hot coffee.