Been staying near the complex and avoiding the early summer heat the last few days. Bought groceries early this week so, in theory, I don’t have to leave the house for the next several days. I’ll probably have to stay at home tomorrow as I’ll be getting a new air conditioner and thermostat. My old air conditioner was almost forty years old and it broke down two weeks ago. So I’ve been using lots of fans and a portable air conditioner since. I’m glad that this problem will be solved soon.
I’ve been having a lot of issues hanging over my head for weeks that just seem to take longer then they should to get resolved. My sink was fixed a couple weeks ago. I started a new medication a week ago. I’ve been sleeping in a recliner for a week now as my lower back has been giving me pain. But I’ve been feeling quite stable mentally for the last several days. I don’t want to sleep all the time anymore. I’m usually awake quite early instead of sleeping until noon. I’m taking better care of myself. And I’m making a point to get out of my apartment to socialize with my neighbors for at least a few minutes every day. The socializing is going kind of rough as there aren’t any people in my apartment complex who share my interests or likes. Looking back on it, having three friends in here die within six months a couple years ago really effected me. I lost a lot of good conversations after that. So it’s tough finding things to talk about with people anymore.
A few days ago my family came to visit me. We spent the day cleaning my apartment. Once that was done I went to see my psych doctor. We decided to add a third medication and I’m supposed to see him again in two weeks.
Other routines that have changed is I’m waking up earlier and not staying awake all night like I used to. Since I’ve been having pains in my lower back again I’ve been sleeping in my recliner more. I still spend the bulk of my days in my apartment and alone. I still don’t want to leave my place very often. Even though I’m sleeping less I find myself wanting to sleep at the oddest times. I want to sleep but fortunately I can’t fall asleep whenever I want.
I’m still keeping in contact with old friends and family. At least that hasn’t fallen apart. But other than that I still don’t socialize much. I guess I’m only now starting to realize how far I have declined in the last year and a half.
Went on a road trip to see my parents at their place over the weekend. It was the first time in months I had been outside of my hometown. It was good to have a change of pace and get away for a couple days. My parents are clearing out some of their old clutter as they are preparing to move. It’s looking more like we’re going to move to be near my brother’s family all the time. Mom and Dad are looking at different places online almost everyday. So it looks like if they get their house and the acreage sold, then we’ll be moving probably in late summer.
Mentally I’m looking forward to possibly be living in a larger area. I have lived in small towns my entire life. But I have always wanted to live in or near a major city at least once in my life. Now it looks like it might happen. I definitely feel like I’m missing out on my brother’s family as I see his kids only a few times a year. And I regret that my brother and I aren’t close. We weren’t close as kids and unfortunately that carried over into adulthood. I don’t dislike him or anything like that, it’s just that we don’t have much in common. I guess we never have.
In other news, things have been kind of quiet for the last several days. I may be sleeping less than I did during the winter, but that is fine by me. Mentally I’m feeling quite stable. Haven’t been having problems with hallucinations or delusional thoughts for weeks. I also don’t have problems with depression or anxiety. Things have become quite stable.
Spent the last couple days cleaning my apartment and car. I didn’t drive much this winter except to buy groceries and pick up fast food, so it was just a matter of throwing out some trash in my car. I’ve gotten rid of a lot of clutter in my apartment. I still have a couple more days of decluttering. But since the weather is supposed to warm up by the end of the week, I think I can get a great deal done.
My nephews and niece are visiting my parents for a few days over spring break. I saw them yesterday and took them to a Mexican restaurant. Had a good chat with the kids and my parents. I hadn’t seen any family in person since Christmas. It was a good change to my routine.
While I still sleep kind of late most mornings, I have found myself sleeping less the last several days. Now that spring is on the way and the weather is starting to warm, I am getting more sunlight. I feel better because of the better weather. I definitely no longer feel the need to just stay inside for entire days.
Mentally I have been quite stable for weeks. I think it helps that I am getting plenty of sleep, eating more healthy, and avoiding stressful people and situations. I hope I can keep this kind of stability up.
Been experimenting with my diet for the last few days. I haven’t eaten meat for several days and I’m also avoiding wheat and gluten. My stomach is more settled and I feel like I have a little more energy than a week ago. I have fewer aches and pains too.
I still have some cleaning to do in my apartment. I had gotten a little lazy about keeping the place up over the winter. Even though I usually feel mentally stable in the winter, I am also quite a bit lazier too.
I have an appointment with my psych doctor next week. The medications I have been on for the last year seem to be working well. I don’t see any changes in those coming. I guess that I have weathered another winter and will be looking forward to warmer weather within the next couple weeks.
I have been experiencing changes in my sleep patterns the last several weeks. I now usually stay up quite late and sleep in the mornings until usually noon. But I still get my sleep and am still able to do this blog two to three times per week. I am still able to socialize with friends and family in spite of my mornings being when I now sleep. I have adjusted to this new routine by doing my shopping and errands at night and scheduling my medical appointments for late afternoons. I look at it as no different than working a nigh shift job. My mother worked night shifts for years so I think it runs in the family.
Oddly I actually have felt more stable and calm during the last few weeks. Because of my overnight schedules I have been able to avoid problem neighbors whom have been causing me grief and irritation. The fact that I rarely hear from irritable and angry neighbors has made my stress levels go way down. I haven’t felt this calm and relaxed in a real long time.
Even though I’m not getting a great deal of physical activity as it’s still winter, I have found myself eating less. Most days I eat only two meals, drink a lot of water, and have a couple cups of coffee. I have found that caffeine can be an appetite suppressant for me. But if I have more than two cups of coffee at a time it can make me jittery and irritable. And I think I’ve even started to lose weight again because I’m eating much less.
I haven’t had problems with hallucinations and delusional thoughts lately. I think it helps that I still get good sleep, avoid stressful people and situations, and just pretty much have settled into a routine that has been helpful for the course of the winter.
My sleep patterns do vary throughout the year. During the summers I am often awake shortly after dawn and usually don’t sleep as much as the winters. I sleep the most and stay up the latest in the winters. But it evens out as winters are usually slow and uneventful times for me. I usually have my worst problems with schizophrenia in late summers and early autumns. I don’t know if it’s common for someone with my diagnosis to have seasonal aspects to the illness.
As of right now I am happy with my patterns and routines. I can still get things done and I don’t get bothered by irritable people as much as I normally do. I imagine as the days get warmer and longer I probably will start waking up earlier and hibernate less.
My life has been essentially quiet and uneventful since Christmas. We had a pretty cold January and early February so I didn’t really go anywhere except to pick up groceries and house supplies for the last two months. We had our traditional mid winter thaw the last week or so. So I’ve been spending some time outside watching the squirrels and birds. I see the cranes and Canadian geese are starting to migrate back. They are usually quite thick near my town from the last week in February until middle March. I’m going to take a few hours sometime next week and just watch the birds along the Platte River just outside my town like I do every March.
I traditionally love to travel and see new places. But I haven’t been outside of Nebraska since my friend Matt’s wedding almost two years ago. And I can tell that the lack of travel and new experiences are making me stale and itchy. Believe it or not, I really don’t like the sedentary lifestyle. When I still held traditional jobs, I usually did my best at jobs where I was moving a lot and it didn’t matter if I got sweaty or dirty. I admit that since I had the sedentary lifestyle forced on me, first by my car accident and then spending a summer with a messed up back, I have gotten lazy. And by getting lazy I can tell I have lost much of my stamina and enjoyment of just doing simple things like walking around the park or going to the all night deli to pick up some Chinese food. I have recently started going back to the all night deli more often, especially if I’m going to be up late.
I am still not as active as I would like to be, but I can tell that it is beginning to come back. I am traditionally not very active during winters, at least not physically. I usually read a lot and have traditionally done some of my best writing work during the winter. Most of the books I read this winter were about future technology trends and popular science. I also listen to a lot of audiobooks and current events type lectures on youtube. I tend to utilize youtube and my books more in winter than the spring or fall. Traditionally during the summers I do most of my errands in the morning than spend the hottest parts of the afternoon reading and writing. But I still do the bulk of my brain work during the winter.
I can tell that the lack of physical activity and travel is making me easily bored. It is also tough in that I haven’t seen my close friends or family at all since Christmas. I fear that I’m losing my social skills. I don’t socialize much with my neighbors in my complex as I have little in common with them. Most of my neighbors are senior citizens or people with physical disabilities that can’t do much of anything. I don’t know many people in here with mental health issues who are still in reasonably good physical health. It is kind of lonely in here as far as socializing goes. I can also tell that the lack of socializing and physical activity has taken a toll on my physical health. I just hope that once spring sets in a few weeks from now, I’ll be able to get more active again.
It’s been a rather quiet last several days for myself. Besides running errands and seeing my psychiatrist earlier this week, I really haven’t done much besides sleep and stay out of other people’s business. I’m finding myself just wanting to sleep a lot. I probably sleep twelve hours a day anymore. Not only do I sleep a lot, I am also not doing a lot of physical activity when I am awake. My psych doctor is concerned and thinks I could have some underlying physical health symptoms. So I imagine a trip to my family doctor is in order soon.
Haven’t been watching the news lately. I don’t spend much time on social media either. And I think I’m feeling better because of it. I just had to unplug. Knowing about every bit of bad news going on wasn’t helping me.
In short, no news can be good. I guess I really don’t have much to report for this week.