It’s kind of odd that the older I have gotten the longer term in my thinking has become. I did not expect this ten years ago.
I think one of the reasons I’m more of a long-term thinker is because my health has dramatically improved in the last few years. I’ve been at this long-term care facility for almost ten months. The biggest goal I haven’t accomplished yet is being able to walk again. I want to lose some more weight before I try physical therapy again.
I’ve lost around 120 pounds in the last ten months overall. I’m almost the same weight now as I was at my grandmother’s funeral in 2015. And I was in good enough shape then to serve as a pallbearer for my grandmother and a groomsman at a friend’s wedding that same summer.
I sit on the side of the bed every day for at least a couple hours. It helps rebuild my balance and I think it helps my back muscles. The only thing really limiting how long I can sit without back support is my bad tailbone. I injured my tailbone in a high school football game when I was a teenager, and it never completely healed. At least I don’t have nerve pain anymore, thank goodness. I suppose the tailbone is one of those chronic aches and pains from the misadventures of my younger years.
Thankfully my ankles, knees, and feet don’t hurt anymore. For a while I occasionally got cases of gout that wouldn’t allow me to walk much except to go to the bathroom. It started in my early thirties. But I haven’t had a case of gout since I moved to the downtown.
My knee pain cleared up over the winter. Even the weather changes don’t effect my knees as much as they did a year ago. I still have some stiffness and limited range of motion, but I can easily lift my legs and knees and hold for several seconds. Sometimes when the nurses’ aides are helping me clean up, I’ll lift both legs and hold them for as long as twenty seconds just to show off. I almost brought one kind hearted aide to tears of joy with how much I have improved over the last several months a few days ago.
I no longer have swelling in my lower legs. In fact, my calves are kind of skinny now. My feet haven’t been swollen for a long time. I can even cut my own toe nails again. I don’t need to keep the call button on my bed. I can reach it on the wall now. I don’t need the extended cord for the call button or even the regular length one anymore.
Most days the meals are pretty good. Just today we had biscuits and gravy for breakfast, roast beef for lunch, and jalapeno cheeseburger for supper. I eat three hot meals a day and I still lose weight most months. Whoever designed my diet is doing an incredible job. I eat home cooked meals three times a day and I still lose weight most months. I think it helps that I hardly ever eat sugary snacks and never ask for second helpings. First few weeks were kind of rough. But I eventually adapted.
Sleeping most of the night anymore. I usually wake up for good around 5am. That’s usually when the night shift makes their last check in for the night. Breakfast usually arrives around 730am or so. After breakfast, I usually fall asleep for another couple hours. Anymore I sleep through the morning cleaning staff cleaning my apartment.
I am doing well. Five years ago, I wasn’t sure I would make it to 2026. But here I am and, other than not being able to walk without assistance yet, I am in better shape now than I was ten years ago. I keep as active and positive as I can. I want to lose more weight before I try physical therapy again, ideally in a few more months. But now that a lot of my health has stabilized and improved, I can see that I probably will be able to walk again someday.
A Life Of Mental Illness 