Middle of the week in early summer here in Oklahoma. It’s supposed to rain on and off for the rest of the week. Going to be a change from the blazing heat we’ve already had. My joints do better in the warm and humid summers of Oklahoma than the cold and dry winters of Nebraska.
The World Cup starts on June 11th. I see that Fox is covering quite a few of the knockout round matches. I plan on watching at least a small part of all of them. The US plays Paraguay, I think, on June 12th out in Los Angeles. The international cultural enthusiast in me is wondering when China or Australia will host the tournaments. I hope I live to see that. I still remember how both countries went all out when they hosted the Summer Olympics back in the 2000s.
Feeling very stable mentally. My aches and pains are not nearly as intense as they were last fall or winter. In March the aches in my entire left arm were bad enough the doctors thought it was a dislocated shoulder even though I haven’t fallen the whole time I have been here. The X-rays confirmed it was just bad swelling. Heck I could have told them that and saved a half hour on the X-ray table. I do not appreciate how some medical professionals refuse to listen to patients. I enjoy it even less when a doctor or nurse treats me like I’m a 4-year-old child.
I no longer drink several cups of coffee per day. Most days I usually drink only one cup per day, usually in the early afternoon. Most of what I drink anymore is water or coffee or the occasional orange juice with breakfast.
I haven’t watched much tv since the Thunder lost to the Spurs in Game 7. Lots of people here in OKC are disappointed they didn’t make the Finals. Wait ’till next year, as the old Brooklyn Dodgers used to say when your great grandparents were growing up. Yes, kids, the Dodgers used to be in Brooklyn until about the late 50s.
Thankfully my air conditioner is fixed. At least I had a good fan and easy access to ice water. Now I’m really ready for summer.
Been playing a lot of old Railroad Tycoon II lately. Recently played a tough, but fun scenario of building a railway from Cape Town, South Africa to Cairo, Egypt back in the late 1800s and early 1900s. I think the Africa map is now my favorite map to play.
The America maps in the 1800s are really fun if you like playing against several computer opponents who are trying to pull hostile takeovers and take your customers and tank your stock prices.
The maps and dates are quite accurate to time and place. For example, you’re not going to find cotton farms in Canada, automobile plants in 1890, or diesel engines until the 1940s or steam engines after 1960.
I’m thinking about playing a map of building a high-speed electric route connecting all the major cities in China in the early 21st century. Heck, there are even maps that allow one to play Antarctica in the 2050s. Kind of disappointed that there isn’t a map that allows me to rebuild the Trans-Siberian Railway in Russia. That would be lots of fun.
Even though I’m not a huge fan of Atlas Shrugged, I’m thinking about trying to retrace the fictional Taggert Transcontal lines from information within the book. Read the book back in 2007, so I might have to get a Chatbot summary of the route from the book rather than slog through that long beast again. Took me a whole winter to read that book even when I was in my twenties. Took me an entire summer to read War and Peace when I was in college.
In my fantasy baseball league, my team is starting to win again. We were in dead last out of 12 teams in my yahoo league until a week ago. But the batters finally started hitting for the first real time all season. Going to have to play almost perfect to make the playoffs after Labor Day. In real life baseball, the Rockies are in last place for like the fourth or fifth year in a row. I think being a Rockies fan is kind of like the kids who fall in love with the ugly little stray dog in the neighborhood. You just love it no matter how awful it looks.
One of the keys to living with a mental illness or disability is one has to keep busy. It’s important to keep moving as much as possible, even if it’s only a short walk, daily stretching, or chores around the apartment. Physical activity doesn’t necessarily have break a serious sweat or cause muscle pain. Enough to get the blood flowing a little faster and make one breathe deeper, even for only a few minutes at a time, can add up if done every day.
Mental stimulation is just as important as physical activity. To this end, I read traditional books, read online articles about science advances and economics, listen to audio files on YouTube. It helps that I went ahead and subscribed to YouTube premium as I got tired of all the ads every few minutes. Before I signed up for YouTube premium, I even had to sit through an ad while listening to an audio file of the Bible. Nothing says redemption quite like listening to ads for Chipotle or Toyota.
For my mental stimulation, in addition to lots of reading and podcasts every day, I also play building and simulation games on my laptop. I love games like Railroad Tycoon, Civilization, Total War, Stellaris, and Sim City. The closest thing to first person shooters I ever really got into were Skyrim and Cyberpunk 2077. I do play some sports games on my PS to break up the routine. Even then I try to do more simulations and off field management than actual game day play.
To this end, for example NCAA Football 26. I experiment sometimes with different recruiting, play calling, and scheduling styles. I like to sometimes create a new coach, start him at a small school, let him build the small school into a winning program, and then see if I can get jobs at larger universities. Once I started at Wyoming, plugged the option offense and an aggressive 3-4 defense in and was able to win conference within three years. I tend took a job at Arkansas and won back-to-back national titles within 5 years running the same option offense, aggressive defense, and focusing my recruiting efforts primarily in Texas. One of these days I’m going to start a career at somewhere I don’t normally take, like Notre Dame or Ohio State and run a 40-year dynasty at those places. I’ve already done multiple scenarios like that in previous versions of NCAA Football.
One of my favorite missions in Railroad Tycoon is to replay the building of The Orient Express in the 19th century. The Orient Express ran from Paris to Istanbul in real life and was considered a luxurious and exotic route, going through so many nations and cultures.
Those are some of my day to day routines in keeping my mind and body busy in my life with mental illness. I may never be well enough to regularly work again (at least not enough to support myself) but I am far from giving up on life.
Starting to feel like summer here in Oklahoma City. Hot weather and most of the schools will be out for summer break by the end of the week. And the Thunder have gone deep into the NBA playoffs again. Lost a heart breaker in overtime here in OKC last night. Don’t have any time to lick our wounds as we got to play again in a couple days.
Mentally I haven’t felt this stable for this long since before I was diagnosed with schizophrenia way back in the year 2000. Been almost 26 years with a diagnosis. I don’t know if the symptoms have gotten less severe with age or if I am better with working around them at age 45 than I was even at 35. Either way I haven’t felt this good or hopeful since I was a kid. Not the norm for most people, let alone the mentally ill.
As far as psych medication is concerned, I’m taking only two psych meds per day. And one of those I need only half of the dose I was taking twelve months ago. I’m not on anything for anxiety. And I’ve been on the same two medications long enough that both are now in generic versions. Since the US doesn’t have Universal Healthcare, that means my meds are quite a bit cheaper now than they would have been even a couple of years ago but still quite pricey compared to most of the developed world.
Will the US ever have Universal Healthcare? I would say probably not until mass unemployment due to AI and Robotic Laborers became prominent and a significant percentage of the labor pool is left unemployed. Many people in my country are paranoid of governments enough that they simply don’t trust the federal or state government with handling healthcare. Many of my countrymen feel it sounds too much like government overreach. I do still think that the future can be really cool and prosperous. It has been brutal and probably will continue to be brutal to manage and navigate the transitions.
Many people here in the US have never really trusted government or any authority figures for that matter. Makes for a low trust society without much for social support outside of traditional places like family, community, and houses of worship for those who fall on hard times. And, of course, all three (family, community, and religious institutions) have weaker influence now than in previous eras in most places, not just in the US.
The US, along with Mexico and Canada, is playing host to the World Cup tournament starting in mid-June. Even though I don’t have a favorite professional team, I am excited to see the US host a good portion of the World Cup. Football (as the 96 percent of people who don’t live in the US understand it) isn’t as popular in the US as it is in most places. I’m not even sure what country is favored to win it this year.
Argentia won it in 2022, and France won it in 2018. That I remember and have written about in old blog entries. I know that Dallas, Houston, and Kansas City are hosting the matches that are within driving distance of Oklahoma. I’m interested in the cultural type activities that take place in host cities during the tournament.
It is difficult that many of my countrymen have become distrusting of foreigners and immigrants in recent years. Many forget that at one time their ancestors were the immigrants. I doubt my German ancestors knew much English when they first arrived. At one time people were accusing the Irish of taking most of the entry level jobs. I guess some things, other than the names and locations, never change.
I’m going to watch as many World Cup games as I can find even if the US doesn’t do well. I’m thinking about seeing in Amazon Prime has a setup where I can get all of the games the tv networks don’t cover. I had heard that negotiations for tv contracts were going rough with some countries, particularly China. I hope they get that settled before the games start. I don’t think many of my countrymen don’t realize just how big the World Cup really is. I guess that we are too isolated here in the US on many things.
I’m excited for the summer of 2026.I have finally adapted to hotter summers and less cold in winter. I’m enjoying Thunder basketball making another run for NBA champions and especially the World Cup tournament. It will be an eventful summer.
I’m doing well after eight months in my new home. First time since the pandemic that my living situation has stabilized. I’m now down to only one blood pressure medication per day. My water retention swelling is gone.
I’ve lost over 100 pounds in the last eight months. I’ve gotten much closer to my brother and his family since moving to Oklahoma in 2023. I probably would have moved a few years sooner if not for the pandemic.
Reading a lot of audiobooks again. I started on The Old Testament of the King James Bible around last Christmas. I’m halfway through. I’m listening to lots of history and economics books too. Recently finished one about the Oil Shortages of the 1970s. Currently working on post-Soviet Union Russia in the 1990s.
Been following sports a lot since last Christmas. Became an Oklahoma City Thunder fan when I moved to Oklahoma in 2023. It’s fun watching them making another deep push in the playoffs.
I became a Colorado Avalanche fan in 1995 after Denver got that team. Looks like they too could make a deep run in the Stanley Cup. The Rockies are not horrible this year in baseball.
Nebraska Husker men’s basketball had its best season ever this year making the third round of the NCAA tournament. And it’s looking like Nebraska football could potentially have a better team this autumn.
I have made lots of friends with the staff members here at my complex. I avoid most of the other residents. Some are too negative. Some are not with it enough to hold a real conversation. I do well here, in part, because I have no roommates. I love not having a roomie. My freshman year in college roommate was a character. After that I decided I would never voluntarily share a sleeping quarters with anyone again.
My arthritis is mostly gone after a few months of Tylenol twice a day. My goodness it was an ordeal convincing the doctor to get me on it the first four months I was here. It was like they couldn’t realize just how bad my arthritis was.
I see my family twice a month. My brother calls me once a week or so. I hear from my best friend from college usually once a week. We talk more often now that baseball season is going. We’re both huge Colorado Rockies fans. We went to one of their World Series games back in 2007. Took several months to pay off that weekend. But it was worth every last penny.
Even though I no longer actively invest, I still pay attention to the stock market and the world of investing. I see that SpaceX and Starlink will probably go public by the end of summer. I have the same feelings about those companies that I had about Facebook in 2009 and Nvidia back in 2021. Pity social security’s rules only allow a small amount in savings to still qualify for Medicaid. Such is I suppose.
I think one of the reasons I’m losing weight faster than expected is due to not eating fast food or sugar very often. Mom and Dad usually bring some Chic fil A when they come to visit a couple times a month. Ordered delivery pizza only a few times since I moved here in August 2025.
My two nephews are done with college for the summer. One is going to work for an engineering firm here in the metro. The other is looking for something in a hospital as he eventually wants to become a physician’s assistant.
My parents are enjoying the retired life. They see their grandkids often. They are quite active in their church. Dad usually has some DIY or hobby projects, like ham radio or model trains, going. Mom is busy with her gardening.
So far 2026 has been better than most years the last seven or eight years. It feels good that my living arrangements are finally settled.
Yesterday was Mother’s Day here in the US. Had a good, long chat with my mom. She’s enjoying retirement and getting to be grandma to my brother’s kids. I don’t talk to her as often as I used to, but our conversations are still good.
Here in Oklahoma, the Thunder are the talk of the entire state. I started following them after moving here in early 2023. It’s fun to have a strong team to follow again. Reminds me of following Nebraska Husker football when I was a teenager back in the 90s.
Lost 20 pounds since April 1. Been eating mostly protein lately, namely eggs and pork for breakfast. Even though a good portion of my freedom is gone, it’s good to have three hot meals a day, easy access to healthcare, and more stability than I have had at any point in my life.
I am now cured of sleep apnea and anemia. First time in several years I haven’t had either one. I am also down to only one blood pressure medication per day. I’m doing well enough mentally that I take only two psychiatric medications per night.
Most of my arthritis has cleared up. I still take Tylenol twice a day, but I think the weight loss has taken some of the stress off my joints. I still have backbone pain from a football injury in high school.
I have found that dealing with mental illness, at least for me, has gotten easier now that I don’t deal with the public anymore. Most of the people I deal with I know pretty well. Overall things are going much better than I could have imagined when I first moved to Oklahoma three years ago.
First Monday after time change. It’s feeling more like late spring here in Oklahoma than late winter. Already had several thunderstorms and some tornadoes in this state.
I now transferred my permanent mailing address to my facility. I can get amazon delivery to the facility, at least as long as the front desk person signing for my packages actually does their job and brings it to me. I had a package delivered today that was supposedly signed for by a sectary early today. It still hasn’t made it to my room. All of the staff is acting clueless even though amazon clearly stated who signed for my delivery. I do hate it when people treat me like I’m stupid.
Haven’t been sleeping well at nights the last week or so. We have a dementia patient on our wing who screams all night, every night. Management has been made aware of the situation but still refuses to do anything about it. This is the second time I had to deal with a screaming dementia patient since early February.
I don’t have much planned for St. Patrick’s Day. I will wear green and I do have some alcohol free Guiness coming. I guess that’s about as crazy as I’m going to get this year.
Updates are due. Another season is starting. Health Updates are in order.
Weight Update
Even though the scale says I haven’t lost or gained weight in the last two months, all of the nurses, doctors, and even my family say I look like I am losing fat. Most of my gut is gone. My facial features have gotten sharper and better defined. My arms are almost skinny. My calves are no longer swollen. The swelling in my crotch is down enough to wear pants again easily.
Endurance
I can stand up regularly. Pivoting is still a chore. I sit up on the side of my bed several times a day because, well, I can now. Putting my bare feet on a cool tile floor feels good.
Blood Pressure Update
My blood pressure is under control enough now that I am now prescribed only one blood pressure medication on an “as needed” basis. I still have my blood pressure checked every morning. But half of the days I don’t need blood pressure medication anymore.
Mental Health Update
Mentally I am fairly stable. One of the doses of my psychiatric meds was cut shortly after I moved here six months ago. Over the course of six months, that original dose has been cut in half. I’m feeling better most days now than I did when I was on the full dose and living with my parents. I take only psych medications now. Nothing for anxiety or sleep. Considering how serious a diagnosis schizophrenia is, taking only two medications and having more good days than bad is pretty phenomenal.
Quality of Life Update
As far as help from the nurses’ aides, I need that only a few times a day now. I still take my meals in my apartment. What is the point of socializing while eating when the residents are either too hard of hearing to understand, too senile to follow a conversation, or always in foul moods. There is no reason for me to put up with irritable people anymore. Been putting up with them for long enough.
My pain is manageable now. I take Tylenol twice a day. My hands no longer hurt anymore; certainly not like they did at Christmas. I was having bad headaches for a couple days last week. They went away as mysteriously as they appeared.
Changes in Physical Appearance and Health
Decided to grow out my hair and beard. Haven’t had a haircut since last July. Trimmed my beard only twice since I moved into my new place. My hair is long enough to cover my ears but not long enough to touch my shoulders. Even with a few gray spots in my beard people tell me I still look at least ten to fifteen years younger than I really am. Some of my family say I look better than I did even ten years ago. Other than the fact I still have pain when I stand up, I feel better than I did back in 2015.
Social Life Health Update
Even though I don’t socialize with residents, I still socialize with the help every day. Made some friends among the aides, the nurses, and volunteers. My complex is in Oklahoma City, so it has an urban feel to it with lots of different people and cultures among the workers and volunteers. One of the items on my “Bucket List” I made in my twenties was to live in an urban area at least once in my life. Another item was to live in the suburbs at least once. I’ve accomplished both in the 37 months I have lived in Oklahoma.
Spring Has Sprung
Feels like spring here in Oklahoma City. I can hear birds singing every morning. We are getting rain again. We had bad thunderstorms in this state a couple days last week. But Oklahoma and bad spring storms go hand in hand.
Updates, March 2026
We are turning the calendar from February to March. It feels like spring a few weeks early. And things are going alright for me. I have lived in my current home for six months now.
Most of my pain is gone. I have been in my current apartment for six months. Made friends with a significant number of staff members. I often avoid other residents because too many of them are in foul moods most of the time or are too sick to do much of anything with. I’m still following a regimented diet but it isn’t so bad. At least three hot meals a day every day is my new normal.
Physical Therapy is on temporary hold
Decided to take a break from physical therapy around Christmas. I was doing it twice a day five days a week and ended up in severe knee, back, and hand pain. For a couple weeks my hand hurt bad enough I couldn’t even use a fork or knife with my dominant hand. So, I had to give up on therapy, at least for the time being.
Neighborhood Drama
There was a dementia patient living across the hall from me for a few weeks. He yelled and screamed continually whenever he was awake. It was keeping me awake most nights. Finally, I filed a complaint with management. After several days of back and forth, the dementia patient was moved to a different facility. After a few stressful and hectic weeks, things are starting to return to normal in my neighborhood.
New Friends Among the Staff
I have three nurse’s aides I’m really close with. One works mostly weekends, is a couple years older than I am, and has a heart of gold. She’s really nice, likes to listen to my stories, and is very good at her job. She always moves swiftly and with a sense of purpose.
A second nurse’s aide usually worked the night shift so she and I would often talk win the middle of the night when all of her work was caught up and I couldn’t sleep. Haven’t seen her for a few weeks. Last I heard she was transferred to another wing in the facility. A third nurse’s aide usually works the afternoon shift and is really nice to me. She was the one who let me know I could actually get Door Dash delivered to my room here in the complex. She’s fluent in Spanish (I took some Spanish classes in high school) so I get to work on bringing my Spanish back up to snuff with her when she’s between assignments.
Like every home or workplace, there are a few people who rub me wrong. I try to avoid them as much as possible. Some arguments aren’t worth the while. But I get along with probably 90 percent of the staff.
New Glasses
Recently got glasses. Had laser eye surgery back in 2007. I went over 18 years without glasses. I use my new glasses mostly for reading. Made a huge difference. Got me interested in reading and writing again.
I’m Reading Books Again
Started reading the Old Testament again, namely the old King James Version. Picking that back up after several years without my nose in books very often.
Finding Permanence After Several Years of Chaos
After several years of my living arraignments being anything but permanent, I have finally found a for life home here in Oklahoma City. Had to live with my parents for almost two and a half years before I got into a wheelchair accessible home. It was a rough two and a half years.
I love my parents and have made my peace with the past, but their house was not handicap accessible. Even the front door and sidewalk wasn’t wide enough for my wheelchair. But I’m in a much better situation now. My parents still come to visit a couple times a month, for which I am thankful for. Got a visit from an aunt and a cousin from Nebraska I hadn’t seen since before the pandemic shortly before Thanksgiving. It was fun catching up with extended family.
Weight Loss Updates
I’m still losing weight. Not exactly sure how much I have lost but I know I lost at least 100 pounds between Labor Day and Christmas. My goal is to eventually get to my old high school weight. I definitely feel a difference both physically and mentally.
End of February 2026
Updates are in order. Winter will be officially over in three weeks. But it already feels like late spring here in Oklahoma City. It’s been a few weeks since I last wrote a journal entry.
I’m still losing weight. Most of my gut is gone as is most of the fat around my thighs and upper arms. I had to take the winter off from physical therapy because of pains, primarily in my knee and both hands, that took until New Year’s Day to heal. Decided I want to lose more weight before I try the rigors of physical therapy again. Sure, they had me doing therapy twice a day five days a week for almost two weeks. It was too much back in December. Maybe it won’t be so bad after a few more months of losing weight.
Most days I take blood pressure medication only once a day, usually in the mornings. I still get three hot meals a day. Most of the time the meals are pretty good. Usually get eggs and sausage with breakfast most mornings.
Still can’t walk because of the pain in my knees and ankles. But I can stand up straight for short periods of time.
Can easily roll and sit up in bed.
I usually sit on the side of my bed with my feet touching the floor at least once a day. Become flexible enough I can pick up most items sitting on the floor near my bed. I can easily reach my emergency call button without help. Most nights I’m asleep by 9pm and usually awake for the day by 4am.
Personal News
My view counts have been going up since December even though I haven’t published new work on a regular basis. Feels good to be getting decent reads after 12 years of dedicated work on this blog. I’m mulling over ideas for new short stories and essays about tech advances. Thinking about doing some more book reviews too.
My mom and dad recently bought a Tesla with autopilot ability. My parents are elderly and bought it mainly for the autopilot. Makes navigating the Oklahoma City area a lot easier for them. My brother bought a Tesla aa year and a half ago.
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A Life Of Mental Illness 