Tag Archives: mental health

Good news! It’s Been a Good Winning Streak this Summer. Plan to Keep It Up Going into Fall

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Good news! It’s been a good stretch the last several days. The window AC is working really well; I’m sleeping most of the night and still up by 430 am most days. Now down to taking only one blood pressure medication as needed. Half of the days I don’t need it at all. Down to taking minimum doses for only two psych medications. And I have been stable for months.

Even though I gained a few pounds over the last couple months (which is essentially maintaining because a good trip to the bathroom would change that calculus entirely). Meals are good most days. Breakfasts are always good. Had coffee cake, eggs, and sausage and oatmeal for breakfast today. A hearty breakfast even in the middle of a long stretch of 100 plus degree days here in Oklahoma. Welcome to the South, I guess.

Looking forward to the start of college football season. My Huskers, from what I’ve seen, will likely be quite improved though the final win loss records might not show much improvement, if any. They play three playoffs’ teams from last year and have at least three other games that are probably tossups.

Probably go to a second-tier bowl game for the third year in a row. But it’s still better than what we’ve had for the previous 10 to 12 years. Nebraska has got to be the only college football team in America who can win only 4 or 5 games a year for several years and still draw over 80,000 fans every Saturday afternoon. Not the Victory, But the Action, indeed. Of course, in Oklahoma, the Sooners are looking to build off last year and Oklahoma State has an entirely new coaching staff for the first time in a generation.

My fantasy baseball has become dominant the last three weeks since All Star Game break. And this is my first season back after taking a couple years off. Who knew all I needed was to completely start over with rookies and underrated free agents and favorable trades? Usually takes a few years for this to work in real life (see the Rangers, Brewers, White Sox, etc).

Meanwhile my Rockies look to finish dead last again for like the sixth year in a row or something. Now I know how the old Cleveland Indians (now Guardians) felt back in the 70s and 80s. Thank goodness the Rox have a decent ballpark and no stupid 70s era promotions like Ten Cent Per Beer night, without limits. That promo and the White Sox having Disco Demolition night in 1979. Only in America and only in the 1970s.

I’m still kind of glowing from how good the World Cup went. It was a really fun month long, transcontinental once in a generation party. Doesn’t matter to me the US lost in the Round of 16 even with the Red Card madness beforehand. Pity those in power always got to keep the peasants separated and fighting among ourselves. It’s like the small-town high school letting the bullies run amok while they slowly take away all the students’ benefits and blame the ‘lousy kids these days’ for problems they won’t address. And it never changes even with new teachers and principals.

Lost 80 pounds in the last eleven months. Down 160 pounds overall since mid 2024. Haven’t been this low since 2013. Last regular part-time job I worked at was in 2012. I was janitor and maintenance man on my feet four hours a night, five nights a week. At least I had weekends and federal holidays off and didn’t have to see my boss more than once a day.

And to think the hospital staff is still not wanting me to learn how to walk again. *groan* But haven’t been able to easily walk in two years. Even though I’ve lost a significant amount of weight they are still leery about me taking those first steps.

Thankfully the swelling is almost gone entirely. Recently bought new hospital gowns that fit better than any clothing I’ve had in like 10 years. And they cost me only 40 bucks through Amazon and I got them on two days delivery.

Things are looking up more than usual these days. Saw my doctor this morning, finally. He’s all shocked I lost 80 pounds without trying (I wanted to anyway). Amazing what one can accomplish when keeping sugar to a minimum and cutting artificial sweetener out entirely. I’m convinced that people fifty years from now will look back on sugar and artificial sweeteners in everything with the same horror people do now at leaded gasoline and doctors’ promoting cigarettes.

Starting to see some real results after years of planning and hard work. I have proven what I’m doing actually works even if I’m not running triathlons or have only 7 percent body fat. Never had to. Pity I didn’t get rid of the sugar and artificial sweeteners and excessive carbs back in 2012. Better news overall than most of the last fourteen years. Maybe years of chicken crap are turning into chicken salad.

Change Is Upon Me and the World at Large

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Personal Summary for Summer 2026 So Far. These are also my reflections on change throughout this period.

Changes are upon me and the world at large here in Summer 2026. Definitely middle of summer here in Oklahoma. Really hot days like the last few when it hasn’t cooled off at night make me appreciate the cool of late fall and early spring. We get bad ice storms here in Oklahoma City most winters, which in some ways are worse than snow being on the ground most of the winter when I lived in Nebraska.

Mentally I have stable for months. Haven’t had a breakdown since I think early February. And that was a short lived one because it happened during a time of profound stress when I had a neighbor with really bad dementia. It was sad and scary both.

Haven’t had hallucinations in months. Have been quite calm all spring and summer. Some of the staff had told me I was the easiest resident to work with and the most interesting. I sometimes talk history and current events with the staff. I usually try to avoid politics as that seems to be a good topic to not bring up when meeting someone new.

Haven’t heard much from old friends. One friend is getting ready to take his family camping in the Pacific Northwest sometime soon. Be a good time to avoid the heat going on here in the plains right now. Another friend has resorted to running all errands after dark until the heat breaks.

Current Events, Summer 2026

I feel for the people in European countries who probably didn’t have air conditioning or well-ventilated homes until recently. Never realized how bad the heat was taking a toll on people across the Atlantic until I read that thousands of people have already died from heat related illnesses and it’s not even August yet. I guess bad heat in summers in something I always dealt with and learned how to adapt even as child in 1980s rural Nebraska.

Haven’t heard much on the forest fires up in Canada lately. I don’t know if those have been controlled or if the end of the ceasefires in the Persian Gulf has pushed those out of the newsfeeds. No wonder travel advisories and cancelled airline flights are common these days.

Don’t know what our leaders are thinking. Russia and Ukraine have been at war longer than Russia was at war with Germany in World War 2. The US vs. Iran war was avoidable and unnecessary as far as I’m concerned and is probably going to send the world into an energy crisis, depression, and food shortage all at the same time. Food and fuel prices are probably only going to get worse in the coming months. I haven’t trusted my leaders for a while. Really don’t think that our current leadership groups anywhere in the world care about the consequences of their actions on the vast majority of people. Hate to say this, but we are probably on our own to make our own lives better, leadership or not.

Easier to Be Change than Force Change on Others

I’m not calling for rebellions or riots or anything like that. What I do know is that protesting isn’t working. Writing your congress person or leaders don’t work either. Neither does boycotting big businesses when they already are monopolized. Maybe our only option at this point, and it’s hardly a complete solution or one that will happen quickly, is to get as independent from authority and power and self-sufficient as possible.

Now I know this isn’t really realistic in many places. Many countries without some sort of political and economic freedom probably will seriously crack down on anyone who is trying to grow much of their own food or do their own maintenance on homes and cars. In some places, people already know they can’t rely on a corrupted system to care for them. I think many people here in the US have already figured out that politics can be stagnant when trying to solve problems and have already acted on their own. Heck, Americans never have completely trusted our governments. Most of the first-generation immigrants are here because they trusted their old governments even less.

Advice on Personal Relationships

The biggest bit of advice I can give is get out to know some people. Maybe do some in person meet ups organized within your neighborhood. Perhaps start attending religious services and meeting people there. Do activities outside of home that don’t cost much if you don’t have much money. Maybe use social media to see who shares some of your interests in your area. Or something as simple as meeting and greeting your neighbors across the street or down the hall. Sure, it will be tough at first as some of our social skills have weakened due to mass social media and the pandemic of a few years ago.

I fear that more hard times are ahead in the days and years to come. The world seems to have cycles when more can happen in 30 days than could 10 years in other eras. From the societies that I have read about that have experienced crisis in the last generation or two, whether it’s war or pandemic or economic depression or natural disasters, the people that did the best were usually those who had neighbors, family members, or even friends with a wide variety of skills that were usual to weather the crisis and rebuild once the smoke cleared.

My personal plan

In my personal circumstance, I may not be very mobile or good at growing crops or fixing machines with hand tools. But I do know how to communicate with a wide variety of people, can write well, can type well, know how to manage money and resources, know how to find common ground between different groups of people who may not otherwise work together, and I can be persuasive without having to resort to manipulation or deceit. I also know a little Spanish again and am on good terms with everyone who works at my facility. Maybe I could have been a diplomat or a negotiator for a labor union had I lived in a different era and place.

Both of my parents are retired medical professionals who still have a lot of that knowledge and can teach people. My brother is one of those who can stay calm no matter how bad things get and have learned to DIY home repairs in the years of raising children and being a homeowner. Several of our family’s friends from my parents’ church are farmers and ranchers and fishers and carpenters. Most of my cousins are farmers or ranchers. Those guys and gals can fix just about anything with duct tape, sheet metal, some wire, WD-40, Windex, and a little time and a little profanity.

Summary

In closing, while I do believe that the future can be good and more prosperous for most people, I also believe that we are not done with the hard times by any means. The celebrations of a North America hosting the World Cup in summer 2026 was maybe a preview of what we can be once we solve some of our current problems and peace returns. I’m convinced most of my problems (and most people’s problems) are not foreigners or automation or prices being unpredictable. I think most of our problems are from new systems being born while the old ones are still dying and being replaced. It’s been a rough go for much of the world the last ten to fifteen years or so. We have the potential for prosperity and peace once the transitions are completed. But the troubles haven’t ended and it will still be one hell of a crossing to get to where we can be.

Daily Writing Prompt: July 3 2026

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What do you do to improve your sleep?
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There are a few things that I’m doing to improve my sleep. I’ll get right into it.

For starters, I turn off all lights in my bedroom. This includes lights of my phone and laptop computer. I close my computer and put my phone face down so the blue light doesn’t disturb me.

Sometimes I will sleep with a fan running in the background. The white noise calms me and muffles the noise outside the window of my apartment.

I don’t usually watch the news at least an hour before bed. It’s too overwhelming to have the world’s problems on my mind when trying to sleep.

I now drink only one cup of coffee after breakfast. Most days I have only two cups of coffee, always one of them before breakfast. Don’t need the caffeine jitters keeping me awake.

I almost never eat anything a few hours before bedtime. Lunch is usually my biggest meal of the day and I usually try to go kind of light during dinner.

I try to keep my bedroom a little cooler than normal. This is tougher during the summer heatwaves. But it is worth it for better sleeping.

If I feel tired during the afternoon, I will nap. I don’t drink much caffeine anymore, especially after lunch. The only times I drink caffeine with dinner are when I want to be up late.

There are times when I want to stay up most of the night. I limit those to no more than once a week. Usually if I want to be up in the middle of the night, I will go to bed early and set an alarm for like 2 or 3 am. I still get decent sleep for a few hours and the quiet solitude of the middle of the night.

Most mornings I’m up by 5am regardless of when I go to bed. But if I am tired in the afternoon, I will nap rather than take caffeine. I think these things have helped me with my sleep routine as much as anything.

Reflections on Changes since 2015

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Final weekend in June 2026. Summer has returned with a vengeance. Fortunately, the air conditioning was fixed a while back. Looking like it will be a long summer.

One good thing about the heat and humidity is that my joints don’t hurt nearly as much now as they did in the winter. At least until the thunderstorms arrive.

I’m thinking a lot about my grandmother. She was born on June 28, 1918. She died in 2015. I’m thinking of all the changes she saw in her lifetime. I wrote a blog entry about this on this date in 2018. I’m now starting to think of the changes I’ve seen just since my grandma passed in 2015.

We had the world where Donald Trump was a real estate man and not a politician. Britian has had several prime ministers come and go. Brexit happened. We had a pandemic that killed millions of people all over the world. AI has become as common as smart phones. In 2015, AI was still mostly in the lab and not very good. Search engines were still a big deal before they branched into AI. Nvidia was known mainly by serious computer gamers. SpaceX and Tesla weren’t household names. Open AI wasn’t around. Drugs to treat obesity weren’t available to mass market. Podcasts were still niche. Self-driving cars were still experimental and not really available. EVs were mostly a niche luxury market. AI friends and lovers were science fiction. I liked Scarlett Johansen in the movie ‘Her.’ Turns out that is now science fact and not the science fiction it was a dozen years ago. Crypto currency was mostly limited to bitcoin and still very niche. Everyone (me included) thought 3D printers would be in every home the same way desktop computers were before the development of smart phones. Some predictions didn’t pan out.

As far as I know, I think more people in the world own smart phones than have easy access to safe drinking water. The level of AI we have today, well in 2015, was considered several decades away by most people. Hardly a day goes by where at least one company isn’t announcing layoffs (driven in part by automation and AI). China’s economy is probably bigger than even the U.S. economy. Most developed countries had birth rates decline below replacement level, whereas fifty years ago most people were worried about people having too many children. Turns out that prosperity and mass education reduced population growth to the point that many people are now worried that we won’t have enough people to keep civilization functioning at our current levels. Who can even guess what people of the 2070s will be worrying about in those regards?

In 2015 we weren’t spending trillions of dollars on building data centers and upgrading the power grid to power AI. In 2015, global trade was still relatively easy. Russia and Ukraine hadn’t gone to war. The US at war with Iran and Venezuela was unthinkable. Groceries were probably less than half the price they are now. Housing was still somewhat affordable. Gig work was mostly for younger people and retirees looking for extra income and not the necessity it is now. The idea of a person having a net worth of over one trillion dollars was the stuff of dystopic science fiction. Multi generational housing wasn’t common. Now it’s a necessity for many people. Heck, even I lived with my parents for two and a half years looking for a permanent home I initially thought would come open in only a few months.

I think the biggest change most people, me included, didn’t expect by 2026 was that white collar office jobs would be easily automated by AI. I figured it would happen eventually, I didn’t think it would happen by 2026. So now we have people who have tens of thousands in student loans because they were told that office jobs were safe from automation as recently as five years ago. The kids who would have never thought about the trades in 2015 are seriously looking at them now. The idea of Universal Basic Income was radical. Now it’s starting to look like might be needed if we don’t want millions of people in the streets starving and rioting.

Even though millions of jobs have been displaced and millions of people died during the pandemic, the stock market is doing better than ever. I imagine some people made more playing the stock and crypto markets than they ever did in a regular forty hour a week job. The stock market has gone from a rich person’s activity to almost a necessity for anyone wanting to manage money. Heaven knows banks won’t pay enough interest on savings accounts to even keep up with inflation. So much for the internet revolution making life cheaper. That was definitely the big prediction I personally got wrong.

A heck of a lot has changed since my grandma died in 2015. It seems like almost a lifetime of change was forced into barely over a decade. No wonder people are withdrawing and discouraged. I understand why many fear we are already living in a cyberpunk dystopia in 2026. We literally have near Star Trek like technology with the political and social leadership that hasn’t updated since at least the 1990s. Too many of our politicians, at least here in the west, still think like it’s 1996 and not 2026. In fact, many of the politicians we had in 1996 are still in power.

Improved Health and Longer-Term Thinking

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It’s kind of odd that the older I have gotten the longer term in my thinking has become. I did not expect this ten years ago.

I think one of the reasons I’m more of a long-term thinker is because my health has dramatically improved in the last few years. I’ve been at this long-term care facility for almost ten months. The biggest goal I haven’t accomplished yet is being able to walk again. I want to lose some more weight before I try physical therapy again.

I’ve lost around 120 pounds in the last ten months overall. I’m almost the same weight now as I was at my grandmother’s funeral in 2015. And I was in good enough shape then to serve as a pallbearer for my grandmother and a groomsman at a friend’s wedding that same summer.

I sit on the side of the bed every day for at least a couple hours. It helps rebuild my balance and I think it helps my back muscles. The only thing really limiting how long I can sit without back support is my bad tailbone. I injured my tailbone in a high school football game when I was a teenager, and it never completely healed. At least I don’t have nerve pain anymore, thank goodness. I suppose the tailbone is one of those chronic aches and pains from the misadventures of my younger years.

Thankfully my ankles, knees, and feet don’t hurt anymore. For a while I occasionally got cases of gout that wouldn’t allow me to walk much except to go to the bathroom. It started in my early thirties. But I haven’t had a case of gout since I moved to the downtown.

My knee pain cleared up over the winter. Even the weather changes don’t effect my knees as much as they did a year ago. I still have some stiffness and limited range of motion, but I can easily lift my legs and knees and hold for several seconds. Sometimes when the nurses’ aides are helping me clean up, I’ll lift both legs and hold them for as long as twenty seconds just to show off. I almost brought one kind hearted aide to tears of joy with how much I have improved over the last several months a few days ago.

I no longer have swelling in my lower legs. In fact, my calves are kind of skinny now. My feet haven’t been swollen for a long time. I can even cut my own toe nails again. I don’t need to keep the call button on my bed. I can reach it on the wall now. I don’t need the extended cord for the call button or even the regular length one anymore.

Most days the meals are pretty good. Just today we had biscuits and gravy for breakfast, roast beef for lunch, and jalapeno cheeseburger for supper. I eat three hot meals a day and I still lose weight most months. Whoever designed my diet is doing an incredible job. I eat home cooked meals three times a day and I still lose weight most months. I think it helps that I hardly ever eat sugary snacks and never ask for second helpings. First few weeks were kind of rough. But I eventually adapted.

Sleeping most of the night anymore. I usually wake up for good around 5am. That’s usually when the night shift makes their last check in for the night. Breakfast usually arrives around 730am or so. After breakfast, I usually fall asleep for another couple hours. Anymore I sleep through the morning cleaning staff cleaning my apartment.

I am doing well. Five years ago, I wasn’t sure I would make it to 2026. But here I am and, other than not being able to walk without assistance yet, I am in better shape now than I was ten years ago. I keep as active and positive as I can. I want to lose more weight before I try physical therapy again, ideally in a few more months. But now that a lot of my health has stabilized and improved, I can see that I probably will be able to walk again someday.

Living Alone Again and Middle Age in Summer 2026

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After over nine months of living in my own place and getting healthier than I have been in several years, I feel like the second half of my life has officially begun. So far I’m liking what I’m seeing.

It feels great that 90 percent of the aches and pains I was experiencing a year ago are now gone. I credit it to weight loss, healthier eating habits, giving up most sugar, and getting out of constant stress. That stress, it’s a killer. And I’m convinced it makes people make bad decisions.

I’ve always enjoyed living on my own. After two and a half years in the suburbs I am on my own again. Feels good to have some privacy again. Sure, I may need around the clock health care. But at least I can, for the most part, write, read, watch documentaries, run simulations in my computer games, etc. without someone hanging over my shoulder all day every day. Feels great to not have to listen to a blaring tv or people just walking in at random several times a day.

I have a pretty sweat deal set up where the aides only bother me a few times a day and usually at scheduled times. I despise surprises and unannounced changes to my routines. It took some convincing and explaining, but I have pretty much convinced most of the regular staff to allow me to have some alone time every day. It feels great that I’m not even guilt tripped into not wanting to go to social activities anymore.

This is the 2020s. Why do I need to socialize in person several times day, especially with people who don’t share the same interest? No, I’m not interested in talking about politics or the weather. I can discuss the Thunder, the Huskers, and the Rockies but only for a few minutes per day. And I imagine some people get annoyed when I try to discuss history, economics, or philosophy. So let that sleeping dog stay asleep.

I’ve also found that some people seem to really have a tough time following my train of thought or even understanding my voice. I do have a pretty low and deep voice that actually carries well. But even after three years of high school speech, some people still can’t understand what I’m saying. I find myself having to repeat myself quite often. It’s kind of annoying. Kind of tough to have a meaningful conversation when even your own family can’t understand your voice. It’s why I don’t do a YouTube channel, even with voiceovers.

It’s good to be left alone by most of the outside world. I totally understand why some people joined monasteries and temples miles away from civilization. A life of study, prayer, relatively simple meals, not much money, celibacy (which doesn’t bother me as much as it would most men), and isolation is the perfect life for me. It’s a pity I didn’t figure this out until I was well into my thirties.

Currently my life is pretty good. Took a long time to make my peace with life without a wife, children, a career, or my own house or land. But I survived and adapted. And that is why, in spite of all the chaos that is the world of 2026, I’m doing better now than at any point in my life. I do love being middle aged. I’m actually comfortable with myself. I’m actually comfortable telling people ‘No’ and sticking to my guns at this point. Pity this wasn’t a thing for me even 10 years ago. But better late than never.

Building Self Confidence

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Daily writing prompt
What’s the best way to build self-confidence?
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From my own personal experience, lasting self confidence is never built quickly. I suppose that isn’t the answer many people in our same day delivery society want to hear. But it’s true. Please let me go into detail.

I will be turning 46 years old this summer. And I have more self confidence than I did at age 25 or even age 40. One of the things that built my confidence is surviving tough situations and realizing that ‘Even though it sucked going through, I came out better, wiser, some extra skills, and an interesting story or two.’

During the pandemic I didn’t go out much, had groceries and medications delivered to my apartment, kept in contact with friends and family. Sure it was a long two years, but I survived. Not only survived, but wrote a lot of material, read books I never had time to previously, binge watched documentaries on youtube, lost weight, and even improved my finances. It wasn’t very fun going thorough, but I’m glad I did. Made more less fragile. Taught me I could handle prolonged adversity even with a mental illness. It taught me how to think and act during a time of crisis.

I was diagnosed with congestive heart failure in September 2021 in addition to the schizophrenia diagnosis I’d had for over twenty years. It was touch and go for a while. Spent several days in the hospital with really bad blood pressure that required in IV nitro drip for a few days.

In May 2022, I moved out of my low-income apartment and into the first long term care facility in Nebraska that would take me until my parents could arrange for me to move to Oklahoma. After several months of treatment, physical therapy, getting a wheelchair, and losing even more weight, I was physically able to make the move from Nebraska to Oklahoma in my dad’s pickup truck. February 2023. Surviving heart failure, going through physical therapy, and getting to accomplish one of my ‘bucket list’ entries of moving to the suburbs at least once added to my slowly but steadily growing reserves of confidence.

I lived with my parents in a good suburb of OKC while I was waiting for a permanent place to come open. It took a few months just for all the social security and Medicaid paperwork to stabilize after the out of state move. It was a pain to not know what was happening from one month to the next. Found the case workers not very helpful in transferring my accounts from Nebraska to Oklahoma. Took a few months, but eventually got everything transferred across state lines. Navigating that mess of paperwork and conflicting agencies and advice was a major headache. But it was one I survived and learned from. Taught me how to navigate agencies and conflicting systems that, in reality, no one person has all the answers to and never will.

Between February 2023 and August 2025, I anxiously waited for a new home to come open. Naive me thought that it shouldn’t have taken more than a few months in a metroplex the size of OKC for a home with handicap accessibility to come open. Oh my God in Heaven, was I completely wrong. Instead of a few months, it took almost exactly two and a half years. And we were looking all over Oklahoma.

In August 2025, the place I’m currently in came open. It is a facility in urban OKC and a huge one at that. We even have on site eye doctors and an onsite dentist. Since it was in a city, I got to cross off another item on my bucket list, live in the downtown of a big city. Sure, it’s not New York or Shanghai, but it was what I was looking for my entire life without even realizing it.

I did gain some weight during the time I was at my parents’ house. What I gained in two and a half years was lost in only eight months. Currently I’m at the lowest weight I’ve been in 15 years. I also got cured of sleep apnea and anemia. It was a long and painful process. But it was more than worth it. Oh my God the payoff was more than worth it.

I’ll be turning 46 later this month. In September 2021 I wasn’t sure I would make it to age 46. I’m thankful and grateful to have made it through several crisis over the years. That’s what taught me self-confidence. Took a long time, but the lessons and confidence will help me no matter what I face in the years ahead. My life didn’t turn out as I expected. But after surviving struggles and crisis, I now realize it turned out better than had my twenties and thirties been smooth sailing. Here’s to struggle, survival, rebirth, and the second half of life.

June 4, 2026

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Daily writing prompt
What’s something you’d love to see in the future, but know you probably won’t live to witness?
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One thing I would love to see but probably not live long enough to see is humanity developing more empathy for other people. We have significantly cut rates of extreme poverty, famine, sexism, bigotry, religious prejudice, illiteracy, childhood mortality, etc., we still have a way to go before we can say ‘mission accomplished.’

With our current agricultural practices, we already grow enough food for every human in every nation to eat a healthy diet. Of course, distribution of food, political corruption, short sighted greed, etc. hasn’t decreased in the same amount that production has increased. At this point it’s no longer a science problem or an engineering problem. It’s now mainly a problem of priorites and misguided efforts.

Corruption is still around. But, thanks to the internet, 24 hour news cycles, significant portions of the world having freedom of the press and aware citizens, social media, etc., people are far more aware of what goes on behind the scenes than we were even in 1980. It does seem like corruption is worse now than in the past. But, could it be that is more easily exposed? Turn on the lights and watch the roaches and rats scatter. They were always there. Most people simply didn’t know about it.

Unchecked money and power corrupt. Our ancestors knew that but probably didn’t know how bad it can get. We are learning how awful some people can be to other humans. The Epstein Files, even though millions of those have been censored, have exposed how corrupt many in places of wealth and power are. Tragically, it has probably gone for all of civilized history. It was rarely exposed to the extent it is now in our age. One thing I have seen in the study of history is that human nature changes much slower than art or science. We may have near Star Trek like technology in many sectors but are still operating on Industrial Age economics and education, Renaissance era politics and philosophy, Bronze Age spirituality, and Stone Age psychology and physiology.

A second thing I would love to see in the future but won’t live long enough to see is humanity establish a colony in a nearby star system. I am filled with hope has humans are going back to the moon in a few years and are planning on building permanent space stations and research labs there.

Updates, June 2026. Getting Better with Age

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Recently celebrated nine months in my current home here in OKC. A lot has changed for me. Updates are in order.

I am now cured of sleep apnea. Stopped using the CPAP machine in March. In my case my sleep apnea was cured by losing weight and fat. Been sleeping so well without the CPAP machine that I almost forgot what sleeping with it was like.

I’m cured of anemia too. It’s a good feeling to not feel weak and sleepy all the time. I sleep probably only half of what I slept even a year ago. Back to being a night owl and regularly writing. It’s a great feeling.

Even my mental illness isn’t as severe now as it was even one year ago. I still take two anti-psychotic medications, which I have been on since a DNA test revealed they would be good for me back in 2015. On top of that, I take only half of the dose I was with one of my medications that I was eight months ago. I haven’t even taken anxiety medications in over a year.

Much of my arthritis pain is gone, especially in my hands and feet. I still have some in my knees. But that will probably get better as I continue to lose weight.

Even my bladder isn’t as weak as it was a few years ago. I forgot how good it feels to hold in taking a pee simply because I can. Sure, my bladder isn’t as strong as it was in my late twenties when I went on road trips with my friends and we stop only for gas and food. At least I can hold in a piss for a longer time than I could a year ago.

Most of the water retention is gone. I can easily wear tight shorts and sweatpants again. As much as I appreciate a good pair of shorts or pants, I can totally understand why the Greeks and Romans liked togas with as much as I’ve worn hospital gowns while my swelling was going down.

I don’t need as much sleep anymore. I sleep like three hours in the night and then three hours in the morning after breakfast. It’s kind of odd to have more free time than I had the last few years because I’m not spending ten to fourteen hours a day sleeping. It’s a great feeling though.

I still don’t socialize much with other patients. I do socialize with the nurses’ aides, nurses, etc. several times a day. So, I’m not totally anti-social.

I usually get weighed the first week of every month. I’m due to be weighed again in a few days. If my body is any indication, I have lost weight in the last 30 days. I’ve lost weight most months I’ve been here in OKC. And I still eat three hot, home cooked meals every day. Heck, because I now eat three home cooked meals every day is probably why I’m losing weight most months.

I haven’t had any real crisis in several months. Sure, I have had annoyances. Most of those clear up within a few days or with a conversation or two with someone else. Even my mail getting lost for a few days isn’t a crisis anymore. Annoyance? Yes. Crisis? No.

I do love being in my forties. The gray hairs and the receding hair line don’t bother me any. Stuff that used to set me off even ten years ago I can laugh at now. I guess it helps that I had most of my crisis in my twenties and early thirties. Being 45 is a heck of a lot more fun than being 35.

I have gotten more respect since turning 40 years old than I did at any previous point in my life. Being a middle-aged man is far better than I could have ever imagined when I first went on disability pension.

Summer 2026: Thoughts on Current Events and the State of the Economy

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It’s feeling like summer here in OKC. I see that Europe has gotten really bad heat waves already. Looking like it could be a long summer. The air conditioning broke down on my wing a couple of days ago. At least I have good fans and access to lots of ice water. But the HVAC crew is currently working on the AC system even on a weekend. I love those guys.

In other summer news, my fantasy league baseball team is in last place in my league. Had lots of injuries early on and never recovered. But I play mainly for fun and make the ballgames more interesting. My team is named The Barn Stormers. It’s my first year back after taking two years off. Have done fantasy league baseball since like 2007. But I don’t obsess over it. And I have never gotten into sports gambling or predictions gambling sites like Draft Kings. If I have extra money to play with, I usually prefer the stock market. Just as well put my bachelor’s in business degree to work even while disabled.

Saw on Bloomberg that some of the big oil companies are warning about $160 a barrel crude oil by the end of summer. Crap like that happens when my country decided to go to war and shut down one of the most important sea trade lanes in the world. It’s like my leaders didn’t learn from the mistakes Russia made when invading Ukraine. I was afraid this war with Iran would be a lot longer than people thought. Too bad I was right. I guess some people in power just can’t let others be.

In addition to the high gas prices, another concern is the shortage of fertilizers for farming. So expect higher food prices than we already have. We may end up having to do like our great grandparents did in the 1930s and turn our backyards into gardens and chicken houses. Everyone I personally know who owns a house or rents a house already has a garden. Most of these people started serious gardening during the pandemic.

In other news, AI is replacing office workers really fast. I feared this would happen eventually. I was telling people about this clear back in 2012. Turns out it’s happening faster than even I thought. A friend of mine lost her office job to an AI a couple months ago. Still hasn’t found anything except for some gig work once in a while. I was afraid these changes would happen before the social safety net and laws would be adapted to a world of mass AI. Sadly I was right. It’s like those in power actively want to make things worse for entry and mid level workers.

Before people say ‘go into the trades’, even those are going to experience an oversupply of workers in a few years. That alone will drive down cost of labor. Basic economics, my friends. And what is happening to office workers now, that will be trades people when AI gets good enough to go into robots. Heck, Amazon already ’employs’ robot employees. And automation of factories is happening right now in China. We just don’t hear much about it in the US. Too busy fighting among ourselves to notice how much the world has really changed in the last dozen years. Brushing up on my Mandarin Chinese to get ahead of the rush. Ni hao to my Chinese friends 🙂 I think that’s how they say ‘hi’ over there.

With the way things are now, I’m glad I moved to OKC three years ago. At least I am close to family now rather than hundreds of miles away stuck in the middle of rural Nebraska. I get along quite well with my brother and his kids. I still see my parents a couple of times a month. My life has gotten a lot less stressful since I moved out of their house in the suburbs. I enjoy being in the city. At least I don’t have to drive everywhere now.

My birthday is in June. My drivers’ license expires then. While I will get the state issued ID, I won’t be renewing my driving license. I don’t think I’m safe being a driver anymore. My reaction times aren’t as sharp as they were even eight years ago. I don’t enjoy driving and haven’t for several years. Besides, here in the city, I get almost anything delivered and can hire Uber or Lyft if I really don’t feel like going out. We have some public transit, but most American cities are not as easily walkable as most places in Europe or Asia.

And why should I have a drivers’ license? Self-driving EVs will be hitting the used car market by the time I get well enough I could potentially leave my facility. I used to joke that my niece and youngest nephew would never really need a drivers’ license. My brother owns a self-driving EV. So, I guess I was right even when I made that prediction back in 2017.

I totally understand why people are worried about tech unemployment. As much as people complain about their jobs, it does give them structure and meaning. It took me a long time to adapt to life after employment once my schizophrenia got bad enough to destroy my career. It was one hell of a blow to my pride to get crippling panic attacks every day before I went to even a minimum wage job. I’m thankful for disability pension and was able to escape that mess before it killed me. I suppose you could say doing this blog is my way of giving back even though I can no longer hold a minimum wage job.