Category Archives: Weight Loss with Mental Illness

March 8, 2026, Health Updates

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Updates are due. Another season is starting. Health Updates are in order.

Weight Update
Even though the scale says I haven’t lost or gained weight in the last two months, all of the nurses, doctors, and even my family say I look like I am losing fat. Most of my gut is gone. My facial features have gotten sharper and better defined. My arms are almost skinny. My calves are no longer swollen. The swelling in my crotch is down enough to wear pants again easily.

Endurance
I can stand up regularly. Pivoting is still a chore. I sit up on the side of my bed several times a day because, well, I can now. Putting my bare feet on a cool tile floor feels good.

Blood Pressure Update
My blood pressure is under control enough now that I am now prescribed only one blood pressure medication on an “as needed” basis. I still have my blood pressure checked every morning. But half of the days I don’t need blood pressure medication anymore.

Mental Health Update
Mentally I am fairly stable. One of the doses of my psychiatric meds was cut shortly after I moved here six months ago. Over the course of six months, that original dose has been cut in half. I’m feeling better most days now than I did when I was on the full dose and living with my parents. I take only psych medications now. Nothing for anxiety or sleep. Considering how serious a diagnosis schizophrenia is, taking only two medications and having more good days than bad is pretty phenomenal.

Quality of Life Update
As far as help from the nurses’ aides, I need that only a few times a day now. I still take my meals in my apartment. What is the point of socializing while eating when the residents are either too hard of hearing to understand, too senile to follow a conversation, or always in foul moods. There is no reason for me to put up with irritable people anymore. Been putting up with them for long enough.

My pain is manageable now. I take Tylenol twice a day. My hands no longer hurt anymore; certainly not like they did at Christmas. I was having bad headaches for a couple days last week. They went away as mysteriously as they appeared.

Changes in Physical Appearance and Health
Decided to grow out my hair and beard. Haven’t had a haircut since last July. Trimmed my beard only twice since I moved into my new place. My hair is long enough to cover my ears but not long enough to touch my shoulders. Even with a few gray spots in my beard people tell me I still look at least ten to fifteen years younger than I really am. Some of my family say I look better than I did even ten years ago. Other than the fact I still have pain when I stand up, I feel better than I did back in 2015.

Social Life Health Update
Even though I don’t socialize with residents, I still socialize with the help every day. Made some friends among the aides, the nurses, and volunteers. My complex is in Oklahoma City, so it has an urban feel to it with lots of different people and cultures among the workers and volunteers. One of the items on my “Bucket List” I made in my twenties was to live in an urban area at least once in my life. Another item was to live in the suburbs at least once. I’ve accomplished both in the 37 months I have lived in Oklahoma.

Spring Has Sprung
Feels like spring here in Oklahoma City. I can hear birds singing every morning. We are getting rain again. We had bad thunderstorms in this state a couple days last week. But Oklahoma and bad spring storms go hand in hand.

Six Months in A New Home: Updates and Observations

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Updates, March 2026
We are turning the calendar from February to March. It feels like spring a few weeks early. And things are going alright for me. I have lived in my current home for six months now.

Most of my pain is gone. I have been in my current apartment for six months. Made friends with a significant number of staff members. I often avoid other residents because too many of them are in foul moods most of the time or are too sick to do much of anything with. I’m still following a regimented diet but it isn’t so bad. At least three hot meals a day every day is my new normal.

Physical Therapy is on temporary hold
Decided to take a break from physical therapy around Christmas. I was doing it twice a day five days a week and ended up in severe knee, back, and hand pain. For a couple weeks my hand hurt bad enough I couldn’t even use a fork or knife with my dominant hand. So, I had to give up on therapy, at least for the time being.

Neighborhood Drama
There was a dementia patient living across the hall from me for a few weeks. He yelled and screamed continually whenever he was awake. It was keeping me awake most nights. Finally, I filed a complaint with management. After several days of back and forth, the dementia patient was moved to a different facility. After a few stressful and hectic weeks, things are starting to return to normal in my neighborhood.

New Friends Among the Staff
I have three nurse’s aides I’m really close with. One works mostly weekends, is a couple years older than I am, and has a heart of gold. She’s really nice, likes to listen to my stories, and is very good at her job. She always moves swiftly and with a sense of purpose.

A second nurse’s aide usually worked the night shift so she and I would often talk win the middle of the night when all of her work was caught up and I couldn’t sleep. Haven’t seen her for a few weeks. Last I heard she was transferred to another wing in the facility. A third nurse’s aide usually works the afternoon shift and is really nice to me. She was the one who let me know I could actually get Door Dash delivered to my room here in the complex. She’s fluent in Spanish (I took some Spanish classes in high school) so I get to work on bringing my Spanish back up to snuff with her when she’s between assignments.

Like every home or workplace, there are a few people who rub me wrong. I try to avoid them as much as possible. Some arguments aren’t worth the while. But I get along with probably 90 percent of the staff.

New Glasses
Recently got glasses. Had laser eye surgery back in 2007. I went over 18 years without glasses. I use my new glasses mostly for reading. Made a huge difference. Got me interested in reading and writing again.

I’m Reading Books Again
Started reading the Old Testament again, namely the old King James Version. Picking that back up after several years without my nose in books very often.

Finding Permanence After Several Years of Chaos
After several years of my living arraignments being anything but permanent, I have finally found a for life home here in Oklahoma City. Had to live with my parents for almost two and a half years before I got into a wheelchair accessible home. It was a rough two and a half years.

I love my parents and have made my peace with the past, but their house was not handicap accessible. Even the front door and sidewalk wasn’t wide enough for my wheelchair. But I’m in a much better situation now. My parents still come to visit a couple times a month, for which I am thankful for. Got a visit from an aunt and a cousin from Nebraska I hadn’t seen since before the pandemic shortly before Thanksgiving. It was fun catching up with extended family.

Weight Loss Updates
I’m still losing weight. Not exactly sure how much I have lost but I know I lost at least 100 pounds between Labor Day and Christmas. My goal is to eventually get to my old high school weight. I definitely feel a difference both physically and mentally.

Book Review: 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea by Jules Verne

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Published in 1870, 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea is a pioneering science fiction novel that continues to captivate readers with its blend of adventure, mystery, and visionary technology. Jules Verne, often considered one of the fathers of science fiction, presents a tale that is not only thrilling but also rich in scientific curiosity and philosophical depth.

Plot Overview

The story begins with mysterious reports of a giant sea monster terrorizing ships across the world’s oceans. In response, the U.S. government commissions an expedition to hunt down the creature. The expedition includes three main characters: Professor Pierre Aronnax, a French marine biologist; his loyal servant Conseil; and Ned Land, a rugged Canadian harpooner.

The trio eventually discovers that the “sea monster” is actually a highly advanced submarine called the Nautilus, commanded by the enigmatic Captain Nemo. Taken aboard, the characters embark on an extraordinary journey beneath the sea, visiting undersea forests, the ruins of Atlantis, the South Pole, and battling sea creatures, including the famous encounter with giant squid.

Themes and Analysis

At its core, 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea explores the tension between man and nature, the thirst for knowledge, and the consequences of technological power. Captain Nemo himself embodies this conflict. He is both a genius and a tragic figure, turning his back on the surface world for reasons that are slowly revealed. His disdain for terrestrial society and his deep connection to the ocean symbolize both freedom and isolation.

The book also reflects Verne’s fascination with scientific discovery. His detailed descriptions of marine life, submarine technology, and undersea geography were remarkably ahead of their time. While some scientific elements may seem dated today, they were revolutionary in the 19th century.

Characters

  • Captain Nemo is the most compelling figure — mysterious, brilliant, and morally ambiguous. His past remains a secret for much of the novel, adding to his mystique.
  • Professor Aronnax serves as both narrator and a lens through which readers experience the wonders and dangers of the deep.
  • Ned Land provides a counterbalance to Aronnax’s curiosity — representing practicality, freedom, and a desire to return to land.
  • Conseil, loyal and methodical, offers occasional humor and stability in contrast to the more emotional characters.

Impact and Legacy

20,000 Leagues Under the Sea remains one of the most influential works in science fiction. Verne’s vision of underwater exploration predates the invention of real submarines capable of such feats by decades. The novel continues to inspire filmmakers, writers, and even marine engineers.

Beyond its technological foresight, the book resonates because of its philosophical questions — about isolation, the limits of scientific pursuit, and the price of revenge and obsession.

Book Review: Journey to the Center of the Earth by Jules Verne

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Jules Verne’s Journey to the Center of the Earth, published in 1864, is a pioneering work of science fiction that masterfully blends adventure, science, and imagination. As one of the founding fathers of science fiction, Verne invites readers into a world where the boundaries of scientific possibility are pushed to their limits.

The story follows Professor Otto Lidenbrock, an eccentric and determined German scientist, who discovers a cryptic manuscript. With the help of his reluctant but loyal nephew, Axel, he deciphers the message left by a 16th-century Icelandic alchemist, revealing a secret passage to the center of the Earth. Together with their stoic Icelandic guide, Hans, they embark on a perilous journey into an extinct volcano in Iceland.

What follows is a fantastical adventure through subterranean worlds filled with vast caverns, underground seas, prehistoric creatures, and natural wonders that defy the imagination. Verne’s vivid descriptions and meticulous attention to scientific detail—balanced with artistic license—make the reader feel as though they, too, are descending into the Earth’s depths.

One of the strengths of the novel is the dynamic between the characters. Professor Lidenbrock’s relentless curiosity and Axel’s anxiety create tension, humor, and growth. Hans, quiet and dependable, serves as the stabilizing force in their expedition. Their personalities contrast sharply, highlighting both the courage and folly of human ambition.

From a scientific perspective, the novel reflects the 19th-century understanding of geology and paleontology, which today feels outdated yet charming. Verne was known for grounding his fiction in real science, and while some concepts now seem fantastical, his effort to incorporate contemporary knowledge was revolutionary for his time.

Thematically, Journey to the Center of the Earth explores the human desire to uncover the unknown, the spirit of exploration, and the tension between rationality and imagination. It celebrates curiosity but also warns of the hubris that can accompany it.

For modern readers, the book may feel slower in parts, especially during the heavily detailed descriptions and scientific discussions. However, the sense of wonder and the sheer inventiveness of Verne’s world more than compensate.

In conclusion, Journey to the Center of the Earth is not just an adventure story—it’s a testament to the enduring power of curiosity and imagination. While science has since disproven the possibility of such a journey, the novel remains a captivating exploration of what could be possible beyond the boundaries of our everyday world. For anyone who loves adventure, science fiction, or classic literature, Jules Verne’s work is a timeless treasure.

Book Review: The Wealth of Nations by Adam Smith

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“The Wealth of Nations” is one of the most influential books in the history of economic thought. Written by Scottish economist and philosopher Adam Smith, this monumental work laid the intellectual foundation for modern capitalism and classical economics. Published in 1776—the same year as the American Declaration of Independence—the book reflects the growing importance of commerce, industry, and the division of labor in the rapidly changing world of the 18th century.

Smith’s work isn’t merely about money or wealth; it’s a profound exploration of how human self-interest, when channeled through free markets, can lead to collective prosperity. Despite being over two centuries old, many of its ideas continue to shape economic policy and debate today.

The Wealth of Nations is divided into five books, each tackling a major component of economic theory:

  1. Book I: Of the Causes of Improvement in the Productive Powers of Labour
    • Focuses on the division of labor, productivity, and how specialization enhances efficiency.
    • Introduces the famous example of a pin factory, illustrating how breaking tasks into components greatly increases output.
  2. Book II: Of the Nature, Accumulation, and Employment of Stock
    • Discusses capital, investment, and how savings drive economic growth.
    • Explores the concept of money, banks, and credit.
  3. Book III: Of the Different Progress of Opulence in Different Nations
    • Examines historical patterns of economic development in various nations.
    • Looks at the shift from agriculture to commerce and manufacturing.
  4. Book IV: Of Systems of Political Economy
    • A critique of mercantilism, the dominant economic philosophy of the time.
    • Introduces Smith’s argument for free trade and minimal government interference.
    • Discusses the “invisible hand” concept, where individuals pursuing self-interest unintentionally contribute to societal benefit.
  5. Book V: Of the Revenue of the Sovereign or Commonwealth
    • Focuses on public finance, taxation, and the role of government.
    • Argues that government has three duties: defense, justice, and public works.

🔹 The Division of Labor

Smith emphasizes that productivity improves dramatically when labor is divided into specialized tasks. This insight is a foundational principle of modern economics and production.

🔹 The Invisible Hand

Perhaps the most famous metaphor in economics, the “invisible hand” suggests that when individuals act out of self-interest, they inadvertently promote the welfare of society as a whole. Smith believed that free markets naturally regulate themselves without the need for heavy-handed government control.

🔹 Free Markets vs. Mercantilism

Smith sharply criticizes mercantilism, which focused on accumulating gold and maintaining trade surpluses. Instead, he argues that wealth comes from productive capacity—not just hoarding money. Free trade, competition, and open markets lead to prosperity for all.

🔹 Role of Government

Contrary to some modern misinterpretations, Smith did not advocate for a completely laissez-faire system. He recognized essential roles for government:

  • Protecting the nation (defense)
  • Administering justice (courts and law enforcement)
  • Providing public goods (infrastructure, education)

🔹 Labor Theory of Value

Smith proposed that the value of goods is derived from the labor required to produce them, a concept that would later influence economists like David Ricardo and even Karl Marx.

🔹 Wealth Through Productivity

A core message is that the true wealth of a nation isn’t its gold or silver, but its capacity to produce goods and services efficiently through labor, innovation, and investment.

At the time of writing, Europe was undergoing profound change. The Industrial Revolution was beginning to reshape economies, and the Age of Exploration had expanded global trade networks.

Smith’s work was revolutionary because it challenged entrenched mercantilist thinking and laid the foundation for classical economics. His ideas influenced:

  • The liberalization of trade in the 19th century.
  • The development of capitalist economies in Britain, the U.S., and elsewhere.
  • Modern economic disciplines, including microeconomics and macroeconomics.

Governments worldwide adopted policies that encouraged free markets, trade liberalization, and industrial growth, partly inspired by Smith’s arguments.

While The Wealth of Nations is a landmark, it has limitations:

  • Overemphasis on Rational Self-Interest: Modern behavioral economics shows that humans don’t always act rationally.
  • Labor Theory of Value Flaws: The labor theory of value has largely been replaced by marginal utility theory in contemporary economics.
  • Underestimation of Monopolies: Smith believed competition would naturally limit monopolies, but today’s economies show that large corporations can stifle competition.
  • Limited Focus on Inequality: Smith was more concerned with overall wealth than how wealth was distributed within society, though he does express concern for the welfare of the poor.

Despite being written in the 18th century, The Wealth of Nations remains highly relevant. Debates about globalization, trade tariffs, taxation, and the role of government often echo Smith’s principles.

In an age of growing concerns about wealth inequality, monopolistic tech giants, and globalization’s downsides, revisiting Smith’s balance between free markets and responsible governance is increasingly valuable.

The Wealth of Nations is more than an economics textbook—it’s a blueprint for understanding how societies generate prosperity. While some ideas have been revised or expanded upon, Adam Smith’s core insights about markets, productivity, and human behavior continue to shape the world.

For anyone interested in economics, politics, or history, reading The Wealth of Nations is not just educational—it’s essential for understanding the foundations of the modern world.

Book Review: The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas

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Alexandre Dumas’s The Count of Monte Cristo, first published in 1844, is an epic tale of betrayal, justice, vengeance, and redemption. Clocking in at over 1,200 pages in unabridged form, it’s a sprawling saga set against the backdrop of post-Napoleonic France, infused with historical events and steeped in deep emotional and moral themes. This review will explore the novel’s plot, characters, themes, and lasting significance, while also offering perspective on why it remains one of literature’s most enduring classics.

Plot Summary

The story begins in 1815 with Edmond Dantès, a 19-year-old merchant sailor who has everything going for him: youth, promise, a loving fiancée (Mercédès), and a captainship on the horizon. But his good fortune breeds jealousy. On the eve of his success, he is falsely accused of treason by a trio of conspirators—Danglars (envious of his career), Fernand (in love with Mercédès), and Caderousse (a bitter neighbor). The corrupt magistrate Villefort, fearing political exposure, sends Edmond to prison without trial.

Dantès is imprisoned in the Château d’If for 14 years, during which time he meets Abbé Faria, an educated priest and fellow prisoner. Faria becomes Dantès’s mentor, teaching him languages, science, philosophy, and revealing the location of a hidden treasure on the Isle of Monte Cristo. After Faria’s death, Dantès escapes, finds the treasure, and reinvents himself as the mysterious and fabulously wealthy Count of Monte Cristo.

The rest of the novel is a masterclass in calculated revenge. Dantès, now unrecognizable, meticulously dismantles the lives of the men who betrayed him. Along the way, he encounters questions of justice versus vengeance, learns painful truths about human nature, and eventually must decide whether he can—or should—forgive.

Characters

What makes The Count of Monte Cristo so captivating is its robust and vividly drawn cast of characters. Dantès himself undergoes one of the most dramatic character transformations in literature. He begins as an innocent, naive man wronged by fate, and emerges as a brooding, godlike figure meting out poetic justice. But his arc is not one-dimensional—Dumas doesn’t present revenge as an uncomplicated good. As Dantès enacts his plans, he confronts the collateral damage of his actions and the moral ambiguity of his quest.

Other standout characters include:

  • Mercedes, a tragic figure torn between love and loyalty.
  • Abbé Faria, a symbol of wisdom and enlightenment.
  • Haydée, the daughter of an ousted ruler and a romantic subplot that offers Dantès a glimpse of redemption.
  • The villains—Fernand, Danglars, and Villefort—each represent different aspects of corruption: ambition, greed, and hypocrisy.

Themes

Dumas masterfully interweaves multiple themes:

  • Revenge and Justice: Central to the plot is the question of whether vengeance is ever truly just. Dantès becomes a sort of divine arbiter, but his actions, while satisfying, leave emotional and moral wreckage.
  • Identity and Transformation: The novel explores how suffering and knowledge change us. Dantès becomes a new man through education, experience, and pain.
  • Fate and Providence: There are frequent allusions to God and destiny. Dantès often sees himself as an instrument of divine will, though the novel questions whether he’s overstepped his bounds.
  • Forgiveness and Redemption: Ultimately, The Count of Monte Cristo is as much about healing as it is about retribution. Dantès must decide whether his soul can be saved after such devastation.

Writing Style and Structure

Dumas wrote in serialized form, and this structure lends the book a fast-paced, cliffhanger-driven momentum despite its length. The prose, even in translation, is rich, vivid, and theatrical. The plotting is intricate, with parallel storylines, flashbacks, and hidden identities that all tie together with satisfying precision.

One of Dumas’s greatest strengths is his ability to juggle emotional intensity with grand historical sweep. He populates his story with noblemen, smugglers, lovers, priests, and politicians—each with their own motivations and secrets. It reads like an adventure story, courtroom drama, romance, and philosophical inquiry all rolled into one.

Cultural Impact and Legacy

The Count of Monte Cristo has enjoyed tremendous and enduring popularity. It has been adapted into countless films, television series, and even anime and graphic novels. Its themes of betrayal and revenge continue to resonate in modern culture, often referenced or reimagined in works ranging from prison dramas to superhero stories.

It’s also one of those rare novels that manages to be both literary and accessible. Readers who enjoy the emotional stakes of modern thrillers will find much to enjoy here, while those looking for philosophical depth will find layers of commentary on justice, society, and morality.

Final Thoughts

Reading The Count of Monte Cristo is a commitment—but a rewarding one. It’s a tale that grabs hold of you with its first betrayal and doesn’t let go until its final reckoning. What makes it endure isn’t just the drama or the revenge fantasy, but the nuanced exploration of what it means to be wronged—and whether righting those wrongs can ever truly bring peace.

For lovers of classic literature, historical fiction, or stories of transformation and retribution, Dumas’s masterpiece is essential reading. It’s as entertaining as it is thought-provoking, and it leaves you pondering what you might do if given the power to rewrite your own fate.

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Book Review: Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell

David Mitchell’s Cloud Atlas is a bold and breathtaking literary puzzle that defies conventional storytelling. First published in 2004, this genre-bending novel spans centuries and continents, weaving together six nested narratives that echo and reflect one another in ways both subtle and profound. It’s an ambitious work that challenges the reader not only to keep up but to consider the larger philosophical questions of time, identity, and the cyclical nature of human ambition and cruelty.

The structure of Cloud Atlas is perhaps its most talked-about feature. Each of the six stories is told in a distinct voice, genre, and era, beginning in the 19th-century South Pacific with the journal of Adam Ewing, and ending in a post-apocalyptic future with the oral storytelling of Zachry, a tribesman on the Big Island. The stories then mirror back in reverse order, completing each unfinished narrative. This nesting technique showcases Mitchell’s remarkable ability to write convincingly in a variety of styles: from historical fiction and epistolary narrative to dystopian sci-fi and postmodern comedy.

What makes the novel more than a clever literary stunt is the way the stories resonate with one another. Characters, themes, and motifs—especially the moral struggle between oppression and resistance—echo through the centuries. A comet-shaped birthmark appears across generations, hinting at reincarnation or spiritual continuity. Themes of power, exploitation, freedom, and the endurance of the human soul thread these stories together, suggesting that history doesn’t just repeat—it rhymes.

Mitchell’s prose is dazzling without being showy. Each narrative is finely crafted, and he balances deep emotional engagement with intellectual rigor. The future dystopias, especially the chillingly plausible corporate hellscape of “An Orison of Sonmi~451,” are as memorable as the genteel satire of the modern-day “The Ghastly Ordeal of Timothy Cavendish.”

Still, Cloud Atlas isn’t without its challenges. Its layered structure and genre-hopping can feel disorienting at first, and some readers may find the philosophical underpinnings heavy-handed. But those willing to invest will be rewarded with a novel that is both an imaginative tour de force and a meditation on humanity’s capacity for both destruction and redemption.

Verdict:
Cloud Atlas is a masterwork of literary innovation and emotional resonance. David Mitchell proves that the novel form can still surprise, challenge, and deeply move us. It’s a dazzling testament to storytelling itself—how stories shape who we are and how we endure.

Book Review: The Millionaire Next Door by Thomas Stanley and William Danko

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If you think most millionaires drive flashy cars, wear designer suits, and live in giant houses—you’re not alone. But according to The Millionaire Next Door by Thomas Stanley and William Danko, you’re also probably wrong.

This book completely flips the script on what we imagine wealth looks like. The authors spent years studying American millionaires—not celebrities or tech moguls, but everyday people with seven-figure net worths—and what they found is that most millionaires don’t look the part. They don’t live in upscale neighborhoods. They don’t lease luxury cars. They don’t throw money around. In fact, the average millionaire is far more likely to be your quiet neighbor who’s been driving the same Ford pickup for 15 years and clips coupons every weekend.

Stanley and Danko break down seven common traits of what they call “Prodigious Accumulators of Wealth,” or PAWs. These are the people who live well below their means, invest consistently, and prioritize financial independence over status. What’s striking is that many of these people earn average or even below-average incomes—but they’ve mastered the habits of saving, budgeting, and avoiding lifestyle creep.

The book contrasts PAWs with “Under Accumulators of Wealth,” or UAWs—people who may earn high incomes but spend so much that they have little net worth to show for it. And this, the authors argue, is the real difference between being rich and being wealthy. Income means nothing if you don’t keep it.

Another interesting angle in the book is how family dynamics affect wealth. The authors talk about how many affluent parents inadvertently sabotage their children’s financial independence by giving them “economic outpatient care”—basically constant handouts that remove any incentive to develop their own wealth-building habits.

Now, as a reader, you’ll notice the writing leans more academic than flashy. It’s rich with data, charts, and case studies—so it’s not a light beach read. But it’s incredibly practical. You’ll walk away with a new appreciation for frugality, long-term planning, and the power of intentional financial choices.

The book was originally published in the 1990s, and yes, some of the numbers and references are dated. But the principles are timeless. Living below your means, saving aggressively, avoiding debt, and investing for the long term—those habits don’t go out of style.

So who should read this book? Honestly—everyone. Especially if you’re young, early in your career, or trying to reset your financial path. The Millionaire Next Door isn’t about how to get rich quick—it’s about how to build real, lasting wealth by doing the opposite of what most people think “rich” looks like.

Final Thoughts:
This book isn’t motivational in the typical sense. It’s not trying to hype you up. But it’s one of the most quietly empowering financial books out there. It teaches you that you don’t need a massive salary or a stroke of luck to become financially independent. You just need discipline, smart habits, and a willingness to ignore the noise.

If you’re serious about financial freedom, The Millionaire Next Door is a rock-solid foundation to start from.

Updates: June 19, 2025

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Updates are in order as I haven’t about my personal life in a couple of months. I’m still wheelchair bound. I almost fell getting from my recliner to the wheelchair five days ago. My knees started hurting really bad and my legs just locked up. It was a scary morning. It took a lot of effort to get back into my recliner in my bedroom. Been there ever since.

Saw a case worker this afternoon. They offered to get me more services. I’m not getting much of anything right now other than a home health nurse coming in once a week, a psych doctor doing telemedicine every three months, and a home health doctor coming in every six weeks. I can’t even get help with moping the floor or taking out the trash. Mom and Dad still do that, but both are disabled themselves and in their late seventies.

My mom had knee surgery last month. Her mobility is still limited. She has to do physical therapy twice a week until the end of summer.

I used to be in physical therapy. Three times actually since I moved to Oklahoma in February 2023. All three times they gave up on me. I was even in a therapy hospital last September. My knee pain is bad enough I need Tylenol and iboprophen three times a day. In the hospital, they stopped giving it to me even though it was in my notes that I took Tylenol and iboprophen at home. The pain, without the meds, was bad enough I couldn’t even stand up without help. Two other times I tried therapy at home only for the company to give up on me when I wasn’t making fast enough progress. Hell, one ghosted me after only one session. Haven’t heard from him in over two months.

Needless to say, I’m not high on therapy at all. I don’t mind doing the work. I do mind people giving up on me without notice. It’s like they quit on me because I don’t fit into a nice, neat box.

The thing I really need help with is cleaning. Since I can’t get to the bathroom on my own (no handicap access in my house), I have to go into the bathroom in a bucket and have my parents dump it. Beyond disgusting. I can’t even get help with moping the stains off the floor in my bedroom. Needless to say, my room smells like a barnyard, and no one wants to help clean it. Both of my parents are elderly and disabled. They can only do so much. But, damn, I am tired of living around my own pee and poop. People in prison get better services than I do. In short, my life isn’t much better than being in prison.

Book Review: Confessions of an Economic Hit Man (3rd Edition) by John Perkins

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John Perkins’ Confessions of an Economic Hit Man has, since its first publication in 2004, stirred deep discussions about the hidden machinery of global economic influence. With the release of the 3rd edition, Perkins revisits and updates his now-infamous exposé, incorporating new examples and reflections that bring the narrative firmly into the post-pandemic world and the era of climate change and geopolitical realignments.

A Global Economic Thriller — with a Purpose

The book reads like a political thriller, except it isn’t fiction. Perkins recounts his career as an “Economic Hit Man” (EHM), a role in which he says he was tasked with persuading developing nations to accept massive loans for infrastructure projects. The catch: these projects were designed to benefit multinational corporations while leaving host countries burdened by unpayable debt — a form of neocolonialism masked as development aid.

In the 3rd edition, Perkins goes further than previous iterations, expanding his scope beyond the Americas and Southeast Asia to include insights into modern-day China’s Belt and Road Initiative, corporate-driven climate destruction, and the growing resistance movements that are emerging around the globe. He also connects the dots between economic manipulation and environmental degradation, calling out the role of what he calls the “Death Economy” in fueling both economic inequality and ecological collapse.

What’s New and Notable

The expanded chapters in the 3rd edition include:

  • Reflections on COVID-19 and how the pandemic exposed economic fragility.
  • Analysis of the climate crisis as both symptom and accelerator of exploitative global systems.
  • Updates on countries like Ecuador and Panama, with new stories illustrating ongoing economic subjugation.
  • A call to action: a blueprint for transitioning from a “Death Economy” to a “Life Economy.”

These updates make the book more than just a historical account — they turn it into a manifesto for systemic change.

Strengths

  • Firsthand Insight: Perkins’ confessional tone and detailed anecdotes provide a rare insider’s perspective on how global financial coercion works.
  • Relevance: By tying the tactics of the EHM network to current global issues like climate change and corporate globalization, the book remains timely and urgent.
  • Moral Reckoning: Perkins doesn’t just point fingers; he implicates himself, which lends credibility and complexity to his narrative.

Weaknesses

  • Lack of Independent Verification: Critics have long pointed out that many of Perkins’ claims are difficult to corroborate independently. Some names and entities are pseudonymized or generalized, which may raise questions for skeptical readers.
  • Repetition: Readers of previous editions may find some material reused or rehashed. While this can be helpful for newcomers, returning readers might skim these sections.
  • Simplistic Dichotomies: While the “Death Economy vs. Life Economy” framework is compelling, it sometimes oversimplifies nuanced geopolitical and economic realities.

Final Verdict

Perhaps more than any previous edition, the 3rd edition of Confessions of an Economic Hit Man serves as both a warning and a guide. Perkins doesn’t just tell us how the system works; he urges us to change it. The blend of memoir, geopolitical analysis, and moral call-to-action makes this edition essential reading for anyone seeking to understand how economic power is wielded in the 21st century — and what we might do to reclaim it.