Tag Archives: health

February 28, 2026

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End of February 2026

Updates are in order. Winter will be officially over in three weeks. But it already feels like late spring here in Oklahoma City. It’s been a few weeks since I last wrote a journal entry.

I’m still losing weight. Most of my gut is gone as is most of the fat around my thighs and upper arms. I had to take the winter off from physical therapy because of pains, primarily in my knee and both hands, that took until New Year’s Day to heal. Decided I want to lose more weight before I try the rigors of physical therapy again. Sure, they had me doing therapy twice a day five days a week for almost two weeks. It was too much back in December. Maybe it won’t be so bad after a few more months of losing weight.

Most days I take blood pressure medication only once a day, usually in the mornings. I still get three hot meals a day. Most of the time the meals are pretty good. Usually get eggs and sausage with breakfast most mornings.

Still can’t walk because of the pain in my knees and ankles. But I can stand up straight for short periods of time.
Can easily roll and sit up in bed.

I usually sit on the side of my bed with my feet touching the floor at least once a day. Become flexible enough I can pick up most items sitting on the floor near my bed. I can easily reach my emergency call button without help. Most nights I’m asleep by 9pm and usually awake for the day by 4am.

Personal News

My view counts have been going up since December even though I haven’t published new work on a regular basis. Feels good to be getting decent reads after 12 years of dedicated work on this blog. I’m mulling over ideas for new short stories and essays about tech advances. Thinking about doing some more book reviews too.

My mom and dad recently bought a Tesla with autopilot ability. My parents are elderly and bought it mainly for the autopilot. Makes navigating the Oklahoma City area a lot easier for them. My brother bought a Tesla aa year and a half ago.

Updates On A Life of Mental Illness, December 2, 2025

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Been in this nursing home for over three months. They still won’t get me standing and walking even though I’ve lost over 50 pounds. I’m bed bound most days in spite my blood pressure and pain issues being solved. They do use a lift to put me in a recliner a few days per week.

I’ve noticed a lot of people, especially nurses, pulling double shifts lately. Usually that is a sign of financial issues, staffing issues, or low morale. Naturally no one listens to me when I point this out.

My parents don’t seem concerned at all about the home not getting me up and walking. Personally, I think they are too trusting. Both are in their late 70s and in poor health.

I have been here three months and lost fifty pounds. I can honestly say that, between not having to deal with nosy parents every day and having someone help me clean up after bowel movements, my life has improved very much. My blood pressure is low enough that they are talking about discontinuing a couple of my blood pressure meds.

I have one nurse who gives me all of my blood pressure meds every morning she is working. And then I spend much of the day lightheaded and sleepy.

I’m angry my home hasn’t even tried to get me to even stand up in the three months I have been here. I’m never going to get better if this continues. My parents think it’s no big deal and it’s nothing they can do anything about.

During the pandemic I was having health issues that was contributing to my having a dirty apartment. It was bad enough I was threatened with eviction until we hired a cleaning lady. Since then, I have resolved most issues other than mobility. That’s the last thing in my way.

Even when I get healthy enough to leave the nursing home, I’m not sure where I will go. Most low income housing is crime infested and ghetto. With my social security wages, I can’t afford even the utilities on my mom’s house. She lives in a nice, near crime free neighborhood with lots of young families and middle class retirees. I can’t afford a place like that. My brother still has two kids at home. Probably doesn’t have room for me. Maybe I could go back to Nebraska and live with one of my aunts. But both are elderly and live far away from even basic medical services. Farm living at my age and disability doesn’t appeal to me.

I’m not even sure social security disability will even be a thing in eight to ten years. The federal government already has a debt of almost 40 trillion dollars. Programs are being cut. But any politician who suggests tax increases is committing political suicide. My country is essentially bankrupt. But shit like that happens when your government runs deficits most years for more than 50 years. We painted ourselves into a corner. In short, it’s one massive and soggy shit sandwich and every American under the age of 60 is going to be eating it some every day for generations. It’s one of the reasons I don’t trust authority figures.

Even though I’ve had mostly setbacks for the last ten years, I refuse to give up. I flat out refuse to let my bullies and abusers get the best of me. I do find some satisfaction in seeing I outlived school bullies or abusive bosses and teachers. Sure, it’s petty. So are most American problems. 80 years of prosperity since the end of World War 2 has made us physically and intellectually lazy and immoral as a people. I fear that the troubles we have gone through the last several years are just Karma catching up to my nation. The thought fills me with dread. But Justice is eventually served, even if it takes generations to fully bloom.

Thanksgiving 2025

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Been in my new home for almost three months now. Updates are in order. For starters, I have lost over 50 pounds since Labor Day. My blood pressure is stable enough that I need pills only once a day. I sleep mostly in the afternoons as it’s quieter in the overnight. I’m on good terms with most of the staff.

I’m probably going to start physical therapy to get to walking again in December. I’m kind of upset that they haven’t started me sooner. My pain is manageable with one dose of Tylenol per day. Most of my swelling is gone. The pain in my ankles and feet is gone.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. I’m guessing the home will serve traditional Thanksgiving dinner. My brother is hosting Thanksgiving at his house this year. My mobility is still limited enough that I won’t be attending. I plan on being there next year.

I’m proud of the fact that I lost over 50 pounds in less than three months. At the rate I am going I probably will be able to walk again and even get in a car this time next year. Now that I know what I am capable of, my long-term goals are to get back to my old college weight. It will take a couple more years. It can be done.

I do miss home cooking like bratwursts and cheese soup. I miss Pizza Hut pizza too. I don’t miss being stuck in my own filth. For about a year between October 2024 and August 2025 I couldn’t walk well enough to get to the bathroom in my mom’s house. I’m going to be upset if all I had to do to regain my mobility was manage the swelling, manage the blood pressure, and lose a bunch of weight. All three I have done in the last three months.

And I have pretty much done it all on my own. My home wouldn’t even use the lift to get me out of the hospital bed the first six weeks I was here. My nurses never listened when I complained about pain. No one would let me do therapy. Of course, can’t do therapy if you are in pain all the time and the nurses won’t give me anything for pain no matter what. The call button is on a cord that is too short for me to reach from bed on my own, at least until I lost enough weight to get flexible again. About the only dam thing this new home has done for me is allowed me to have controlled portions and help me clean bowel movements. I got none of that at home. Mom and Dad are too sick and elderly to help me in that regard.

In short, it looks like all I had to do was get my swelling down, manage my pain, and lose a bunch of weight. I’m now kicking myself thinking I could have done all of this back home had the house been even a small bit handicap accessible.

The home didn’t believe I could recover. Neither did my parents. For a short while I had my own doubts. But I can accomplish almost anything if I have the right tools and enough time. I didn’t have the right tools at my parents’ house. Now I do.

Updates: June 19, 2025

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Updates are in order as I haven’t about my personal life in a couple of months. I’m still wheelchair bound. I almost fell getting from my recliner to the wheelchair five days ago. My knees started hurting really bad and my legs just locked up. It was a scary morning. It took a lot of effort to get back into my recliner in my bedroom. Been there ever since.

Saw a case worker this afternoon. They offered to get me more services. I’m not getting much of anything right now other than a home health nurse coming in once a week, a psych doctor doing telemedicine every three months, and a home health doctor coming in every six weeks. I can’t even get help with moping the floor or taking out the trash. Mom and Dad still do that, but both are disabled themselves and in their late seventies.

My mom had knee surgery last month. Her mobility is still limited. She has to do physical therapy twice a week until the end of summer.

I used to be in physical therapy. Three times actually since I moved to Oklahoma in February 2023. All three times they gave up on me. I was even in a therapy hospital last September. My knee pain is bad enough I need Tylenol and iboprophen three times a day. In the hospital, they stopped giving it to me even though it was in my notes that I took Tylenol and iboprophen at home. The pain, without the meds, was bad enough I couldn’t even stand up without help. Two other times I tried therapy at home only for the company to give up on me when I wasn’t making fast enough progress. Hell, one ghosted me after only one session. Haven’t heard from him in over two months.

Needless to say, I’m not high on therapy at all. I don’t mind doing the work. I do mind people giving up on me without notice. It’s like they quit on me because I don’t fit into a nice, neat box.

The thing I really need help with is cleaning. Since I can’t get to the bathroom on my own (no handicap access in my house), I have to go into the bathroom in a bucket and have my parents dump it. Beyond disgusting. I can’t even get help with moping the stains off the floor in my bedroom. Needless to say, my room smells like a barnyard, and no one wants to help clean it. Both of my parents are elderly and disabled. They can only do so much. But, damn, I am tired of living around my own pee and poop. People in prison get better services than I do. In short, my life isn’t much better than being in prison.

Book Review: Surviving Schizophrenia: A Family Manual by Dr. E. Fuller Torrey

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Dr. E. Fuller Torrey’s Surviving Schizophrenia is widely regarded as a foundational text for families, caregivers, and professionals navigating the complexities of schizophrenia. Now in its seventh edition, this book has stood the test of time as one of the most accessible and comprehensive guides on the subject.

A Compassionate and Practical Resource
Torrey, a psychiatrist with decades of experience in both research and clinical practice, approaches schizophrenia with deep empathy and clarity. He recognizes the confusion, fear, and emotional toll the illness can take on patients and families alike. His tone is reassuring yet candid, never sugarcoating the severity of the disorder, but always grounding his insights in hope and realism.

Structure and Content
The book is well-organized, covering a wide range of topics: definitions and diagnosis, symptoms, causes, treatments, navigating the mental health system, and tips for coping day-to-day. Torrey writes in plain language, making complex psychiatric concepts accessible without being simplistic. He intersperses scientific explanation with anecdotes and case studies, which humanize the condition and illuminate the real-life challenges of those affected.

Strengths

  • Comprehensive Scope: Whether you are just starting to learn about schizophrenia or are dealing with it firsthand, the book provides an in-depth overview of everything from medications and side effects to hospitalization and legal rights.
  • Family-Focused: As the subtitle suggests, it’s a manual for families. Torrey consistently centers the experiences of loved ones, validating their concerns while empowering them with tools and knowledge.
  • Historical and Political Context: Torrey doesn’t shy away from discussing the failures of the mental health care system, particularly in the U.S. He offers critical insights into deinstitutionalization, housing, and the legal system that add valuable context.

Criticisms and Limitations
Some critics have found Torrey’s views on involuntary treatment and the use of medication to be somewhat rigid or overly reliant on traditional psychiatric models. While he supports the use of antipsychotic medications as essential, alternative viewpoints (such as more psychosocial or recovery-oriented models) receive less attention. Additionally, the book’s medical tone and length may be overwhelming for readers in the midst of a crisis.

Conclusion
Surviving Schizophrenia remains one of the most important and enduring resources on this difficult and often misunderstood condition. Dr. Torrey’s combination of clinical rigor and personal compassion makes the book not only informative but deeply humane. While it may not fully reflect newer perspectives in psychiatric care, it is nonetheless indispensable for families seeking to understand and support a loved one with schizophrenia.

Recommended for: Family members, caregivers, social workers, students of psychology/psychiatry, and anyone seeking a comprehensive introduction to schizophrenia.

How Someone with Schizophrenia and No Job Can Prepare for the AI Revolution

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The rapid rise of artificial intelligence (AI) is transforming every aspect of life—from how we work and learn to how we communicate and get healthcare. For someone living with schizophrenia and currently unemployed, the idea of keeping up with these changes might feel overwhelming. But the truth is, there are small, realistic steps anyone can take to prepare for the AI revolution—and they don’t require perfect mental health, a job, or a tech degree.

Here’s a five-minute guide to help you start preparing in a way that respects your pace and your well-being.

1. Understand That You’re Not Alone

First, know this: many people—whether or not they have mental health challenges—feel uncertain about the future of AI. You are not behind. You are not excluded. The AI revolution isn’t just for tech experts or people with jobs. In fact, AI could improve access to mental health care, education, and even new kinds of flexible, remote work that are better suited for people dealing with conditions like schizophrenia.

2. Start Learning, One Step at a Time

You don’t need to understand how AI works to benefit from it. But learning the basics can help reduce fear and build confidence. Consider watching short YouTube videos or listening to podcasts that explain AI in simple terms. Focus on questions like:

  • What is AI?
  • How is it used in everyday life?
  • How could it change the job market?

Some platforms, like Khan Academy or Coursera, offer free courses you can take at your own pace—even if it’s just 10 minutes a day.

3. Focus on Skills That AI Can’t Replace

While AI can do many things, it struggles with emotional intelligence, empathy, and human connection. These are areas where you can shine. If you’re able, consider building soft skills such as communication, problem-solving, or even peer support for others with mental illness.

Many communities have support groups that offer basic job-readiness training or volunteer opportunities. These experiences can help you build structure and confidence without the pressure of a traditional job.

4. Use AI to Help You, Not Replace You

AI tools like ChatGPT can help with job preparation, scheduling, writing, and even emotional support. For example:

  • Need help writing a resume? AI can draft it.
  • Want to practice job interviews? AI can simulate them.
  • Struggling to organize your day? AI can suggest a routine.

Using AI as an assistant—rather than seeing it as competition—can empower you to take small steps toward employment, education, or creative projects.

5. Protect Your Mental Health First

Schizophrenia is a serious condition that often requires consistent care. Preparing for the AI revolution doesn’t mean pushing yourself beyond your limits. Prioritize stability and wellness. Make sure you’re keeping up with your treatment plan and staying connected to your care team.

If you ever feel overwhelmed, pause. AI will still be here tomorrow. Progress can be slow and nonlinear. That’s okay.

Final Thoughts

You don’t need to become an expert in AI. You just need to be open to learning, a little at a time. With the right tools, mindset, and support, even someone facing the challenges of schizophrenia and unemployment can find their place in a changing world.

The future isn’t about competing with machines—it’s about being more human than ever. And that’s something you’re already doing.

Finding Strength: Managing Health and Family Doubts

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Took a couple of days off this weekend. Back to the grind. The last several days I have been up most of the night and gotten my best sleep in the afternoons. I still sleep like ten hours a day, but most of it is during daylight hours.

I’m back on the Turmeric. I think it’s helping with the bad knees and ankles. I started taking Vitamin B and Vitamin D supplements a couple of weeks ago. I think I have more energy and optimism overall now.

I think I am losing weight. If the way my clothes fit is any indication I really am. Most of my shirts are quite baggy now. Might have to drop down a shirt size. It also looks like I’m carrying less fat on my abdomen. My calves are less swollen than six months ago as are my thighs. I don’t eat much anymore besides protein and vegetables. I try to avoid sugar and carbs.

Got turned down for a long term care facility. I’m not shedding any tears over it. In reality I don’t want to go to long term care. Ideally I would just stay in my current house and just widen all the doors to be wheelchair accessible. My parents aren’t on the same page as I am. They aren’t enthusiastic about making such modifications to the house.

I have come to the conclusion that I don’t want things to be easy. I want to struggle to get my walking ability back. I want people to doubt me. I want to be fought every inch of the way. I want even my own family to actively work against me. They originally doubted I could graduate college with schizophrenia. Proved them wrong. They originally thought I couldn’t live alone with schizophrenia and on disability pension. Proved them wrong for over seventeen years.

Most people thought I made a mistake when I went to long term care to get better. I was flat out told I would die in that facility. Well, eight months later I walked out the front door on my own two feet. I went in that facility on a hospital stretcher. I walked out on my own two feet after only eight months.

I’m facing doubts again. After this third stay in the hospital, I lost all of my mobility. Physical therapy hospital didn’t help at all. Neither did the home therapist. They all gave up on me too soon. Sure, it took a few months. But I am back to walking short distances within the same room. I can transfer into the wheelchair. It is a foldable wheelchair so I can get it through doors. I could already get everywhere in the house if the family would just break down and pay for the modifications.

As far as modifications go, all they would need is to widen all the doors, put a railing in the bathroom, and get some of the clutter out of the house. My parents have a hard time throwing anything away. I swear if I outlive them, I’m going to rent a dumpster and throw tons of Knick knacks and crap in. I refuse to deal with it after they are gone. I won’t live the life of a hoarder. Was forced to do it as a kid. Forced to do it again after being on my own for seventeen years. After my parents are gone or moved to a nursing home, never again.

Oddly I’m not feeling hurt or betrayed by my family not believing in me. In some ways they have never believed in me. I’m going to get mobile again, at least for short distances. I am going to keep losing weight. My goal is to eventually get back to the same weight I was as a freshman in college. I could easily walk three to five miles a day back then.

I might never be able to walk that far again. But, dammit, I refuse to give up. Between being severely bullied by my school mates as a kid, twenty five years of schizophrenia, three years of congestive heart failure, surviving eight months in a long term care facility, moving two states away to be closer to my brother (at least he believes in me), and seeing crazy ass tech advances in terms of AI, automation, biotech, fintech, etc.; I’ve come too far to cash out now. Give up? Not happening as long as I got breath in my lungs.

I don’t know why my parents refuse to make the modifications to the house to make it handicap accessible. Honestly, I don’t care. I’m going to get better and mobile in spite all the road blocks people keep throwing at me. I want to be doubted. I want to be told I am a liar and full of shit. It just makes me more determined to keep beating the odds. Beating the smart money has been the mode of operation for my entire life. Personally, I think the “smart money” ain’t as smart as it’s cracked up to be. I just keep proving them wrong because that’s what I’ve done my entire life.

Overcoming Mobility Challenges: My Journey to Independence

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STILL haven’t heard anything from my possible new place. I’m giving up on that. I’ve pretty much come to the conclusion that I’m going to be living with my parents for the rest of my life. I’m tired of pretending that things are going to change in that regards.

There are worse things than living in the suburbs. It’s a safe neighborhood. I can get any restaurant within reason Door Dashed to my house. I get two day delivery on almost anything on Amazon. There isn’t much for homelessness near my house. And I live only a fifteen minute drive from my brother and his wife.

As I’m getting used to the fact that there won’t be a place coming open for me, I have decided to make the best of it. Mobility is slowly coming back. I can easily transfer from recliner to bed to wheelchair with only a little pain in my ankles. My knee pain has been completely solved. They don’t even pop and crack anymore. I’m so thankful for Turmeric.

Now that I can freely get back into a wheel chair, I’m on to my next project. That is moving about the house. The only real hang up in this house is the narrow doors. The hallways are wide enough for wheelchairs but not the doors. If anything happens to my parents where they have to move to a home and I get left behind, I’m so going to have to move my hospital bed and recliner into the living room. That’s been my plan all along. I just didn’t think that I would have to utilize it.

Finally got out under the overpayments I was paying back to social security. Looks like the timing was good. Sounds like the whole system has become a dumpster fire. While I’m all in favor of cutting government waste, I totally accept that the transition to a more efficient system is going to be tough and take years perhaps. I do have some money out of the system just in case of things like this. In social security’s case, it sounds like a modern day run on the bank.

My next goal as for my mobility is to stand up long enough to fold up my wheelchair and get it through a door. That will open up the entire house and the back yard to me. If I keep getting the run around from social services, I’m going to need to make myself as mobile as I can.

The only reason I was needing a place was because of the wheelchair, not because I am senile. I remember to take my pills daily. I can clean myself, at least with sponge baths and dry shampoo. Maybe that is why I can’t get a place. Because I’m still quite mentally sharp I’m not a high priority.

In some ways I’m glad I keep getting rejected for these places. Five months ago my ankles and knees were so bad I couldn’t even stand up on my own. I needed an ambulance crew to set me up in my own house. Spent from early October to early January learning to stand up again.

I can stand up again. Now I can walk real short distances. I’m working on cutting down the pain in my ankles. In the five plus months I have spent teaching myself how to stand and walk again, I haven’t fallen even once. And I have done it all without any help from anyone.

I had physical therapy come in back in October. But they gave up on me after 30 days because I wasn’t making “adequate progress.” As it is now, I don’t think I really need physical therapy. What I do need is wheelchair accessible doors and bathrooms. Not sure I can get that done in this house. I’m pretty sure my family could afford it if I really put the screws to my parents. Sometimes playing hardball and being a hard ass has to be done to get a point across. I swear some people are so oblivious.

In spite of my hurdles and set backs, I’m making decent progress in learning how to walk again. And I am doing it in spite of the roadblocks and hijinks and run around of social services. If anything, I enjoy the hardships.

I enjoy being told what I can and cannot do. That way I can rub it in people’s arrogant faces when I end up proving them wrong. People didn’t think I could graduate college with schizophrenia. I proved them wrong. People didn’t think I could hold a job with mental illness. I held a janitorial job for over four years. People didn’t think I could live on my own with schizophrenia. Proved them wrong for seventeen years without being even late on a rent payment. People didn’t think I could survive and recover from congestive heart failure. Definitely proved them wrong on that. People now think I’ll never walk again. That’s my next mission to prove people wrong.

Challenges in Securing Long-Term Care in Oklahoma

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Rumor had it that a long term care facility an hour from the metroplex was already to accept me with open arms. That was over a week ago. Haven’t heard anything since. Getting into a care facility is proving to be impossible here in Oklahoma.

A few weeks ago Adult Protective Services were called on my behalf. My house isn’t handicap accessible and I need wheelchair accessible housing. I can transfer from a recliner or wheelchair to a hospital bed, but I still have pain in my ankles every time I walk. I can transfer but it is painful.

After APS was called on my behalf, I was sure I would get a placement within a couple of weeks. Normally they don’t get involved unless a situation is dire and beyond redemption. Well, both are the case in my situation.

I doubt my house can be made wheelchair accessible. Even if it could, I couldn’t afford even property taxes on this place after my parents are gone.

I’m just tired of the run around. I’ve had more problems with social security, Medicaid, healthcare, social services, hospitals, case workers, etc. in the two years I’ve lived in Oklahoma than my last seventeen years in Nebraska. Apparently, service quality varies greatly from state to state.

I’m to where I’m at my wit’s end. I’m tired of fighting and getting zero for results. I’ve grown hopeless and despondent. I sleep twelve hours a day to numb the pain. I’ve told off my parents a few times in the last several weeks because of frustration. I’m becoming something I don’t like. In short, I’m becoming the whining and bitter old man I promised myself I would never become.

I just want a permanent placing in a nursing home to where I can have wheelchair access and my day-to-day medical care provided. Apparently in the richest country in the history of the world that isn’t an option.

More Mobile, Losing Weight, Spring Storms, and New Books by Zach Foster

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Updates are in order. I can now transfer from my recliner to the bed to the wheelchair on a daily basis. I no longer have knee pain, but I do have some ankle pain. I have to stand up and sit down a few times over the span of several minutes before I can easily get rolling, especially if I have been laying down all night in bed.

In short, the knee pain that has been the bane of my existence for the past seven years is gone. Now I have to work on my ankle strength. To this end I’m starting an exercise routine I learned from a physical therapist to rebuild my ankles.

I haven’t weighed myself for a few months, but I think I’ve lost weight. I’m carrying less fat, especially around my stomach and thighs. My arms no longer jiggle. My shirts fit a lot better. The swelling in my crotch has gone down considerably. I know my apatite is smaller than it used to be.

One of the reasons for the fat loss in spite of the little physical activity, is for the strict diet I have. I limit when I eat and how much I eat. I still occasionally eat pizza, burgers, and friend fish. But I have cut back on portions. I large pizza can make at minimum two meals for me, more often three. I do like Long John Silver’s for their fish and corn balls. But it’s only a once-a-month tradition when my dad brings it home after he visits his doctor at the VA.

The weather is warming up and definitely feels like spring. We are having wildfires here in Oklahoma. Won’t be too long before we have thunderstorms and tornadoes every few days. The storms down here are really bad, especially the spring storms. Winter storms are more bearable even if they bring more ice than what I’m used to growing up in Nebraska. Whatever snow and ice we get in Oklahoma is gone within a couple of days. But 500 miles north in Nebraska, the snow can stay around all winter and it’s usually too cold for just rain turning to ice most of the times. Snowstorms dumping over a foot of snow are an annual occurrence back in Nebraska.

I recently uploaded an e-book to Amazon in addition to the Hillbilly Scholar one I already have. It’s called Blasting Mental Illness Myths by Zach Foster. It’s not up just yet as I loaded it only a few days ago.

This is the link to the Hillbilly Scholar e-book

https://www.amazon.com/Wisdom-Hillbilly-Scholar-Zach-Foster-ebook/dp/B005ESFWNI/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3BR1YVX065QOH&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.uACjiqLKg7iYywHEerIRWw.oEkfijpANSjGwxPnP5W80vUEWYv8vkD3FHYTL6VTGsg&dib_tag=se&keywords=wisdom+of+a+hillbilly+scholar&qid=1742162715&sprefix=%2Caps%2C94&sr=8-1