Tag Archives: solitude

March 8, 2026, Health Updates

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Updates are due. Another season is starting. Health Updates are in order.

Weight Update
Even though the scale says I haven’t lost or gained weight in the last two months, all of the nurses, doctors, and even my family say I look like I am losing fat. Most of my gut is gone. My facial features have gotten sharper and better defined. My arms are almost skinny. My calves are no longer swollen. The swelling in my crotch is down enough to wear pants again easily.

Endurance
I can stand up regularly. Pivoting is still a chore. I sit up on the side of my bed several times a day because, well, I can now. Putting my bare feet on a cool tile floor feels good.

Blood Pressure Update
My blood pressure is under control enough now that I am now prescribed only one blood pressure medication on an “as needed” basis. I still have my blood pressure checked every morning. But half of the days I don’t need blood pressure medication anymore.

Mental Health Update
Mentally I am fairly stable. One of the doses of my psychiatric meds was cut shortly after I moved here six months ago. Over the course of six months, that original dose has been cut in half. I’m feeling better most days now than I did when I was on the full dose and living with my parents. I take only psych medications now. Nothing for anxiety or sleep. Considering how serious a diagnosis schizophrenia is, taking only two medications and having more good days than bad is pretty phenomenal.

Quality of Life Update
As far as help from the nurses’ aides, I need that only a few times a day now. I still take my meals in my apartment. What is the point of socializing while eating when the residents are either too hard of hearing to understand, too senile to follow a conversation, or always in foul moods. There is no reason for me to put up with irritable people anymore. Been putting up with them for long enough.

My pain is manageable now. I take Tylenol twice a day. My hands no longer hurt anymore; certainly not like they did at Christmas. I was having bad headaches for a couple days last week. They went away as mysteriously as they appeared.

Changes in Physical Appearance and Health
Decided to grow out my hair and beard. Haven’t had a haircut since last July. Trimmed my beard only twice since I moved into my new place. My hair is long enough to cover my ears but not long enough to touch my shoulders. Even with a few gray spots in my beard people tell me I still look at least ten to fifteen years younger than I really am. Some of my family say I look better than I did even ten years ago. Other than the fact I still have pain when I stand up, I feel better than I did back in 2015.

Social Life Health Update
Even though I don’t socialize with residents, I still socialize with the help every day. Made some friends among the aides, the nurses, and volunteers. My complex is in Oklahoma City, so it has an urban feel to it with lots of different people and cultures among the workers and volunteers. One of the items on my “Bucket List” I made in my twenties was to live in an urban area at least once in my life. Another item was to live in the suburbs at least once. I’ve accomplished both in the 37 months I have lived in Oklahoma.

Spring Has Sprung
Feels like spring here in Oklahoma City. I can hear birds singing every morning. We are getting rain again. We had bad thunderstorms in this state a couple days last week. But Oklahoma and bad spring storms go hand in hand.

Cold Weather, Dreams, Decline of Social Media, and Regrets

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Been damp and chilly the last few days. I enjoy this kind of weather. People think I’m strange for having my windows open on days like this. But, I’m a warm blooded mammal, not a lizard. I don’t need it be sunny and dry all the time. Besides, I have blankets, can make hot coffee, and turn on the furnace if it gets too cold. I’ve always been more sensitive to heat than cold anyway. Even the seasonal aspects of my mental illness are worse in the summers than winters and springs.

Staying close to home most days. My cleaning lady had to have foot surgery several weeks ago. She said she should be able to work again as soon as next week. I’ll be glad to see her again. My neighbors have helped out some this spring but it just isn’t the same.

Started sleeping less. I’m usually asleep by 11pm most nights and up for good by 6am. I sometimes nap in the afternoons. Been having lots of dreams lately. Fortunately they aren’t scary, they’re just vivid and make no sense. One dream I had was about a world famous conspiracy theorist living next door to the church I attended as a kid. And a few friends and I would go visit him after church services. Make whatever you will of this one. Another strange dream I recently had was about my old college opening a satellite campus next door to the building where my dad had his dental office. Can’t figure that one out either.

I’m growing more disappointed with social media lately. It hasn’t been any fun for years now. But now it’s practically a ghost town. I don’t use it for anything other than keeping in contact with my best friend and a couple cousins. I don’t even get much traffic to this blog via social media anymore. Thankful I don’t own any Facebook or Twitter stock. I just don’t see much activity on there anymore, certainly not like ten years ago. I’m going to have to find some other means to promote my blog.

I’m generally content overall. Even the long periods of alone time don’t bother me. I’d rather be alone than deal with toxic and rude people every day. Socializing is no longer worth it, at least not in person. I guess the older I have gotten, the fewer social contacts I have. But the ones I do have are far more meaningful than they were when I was 21. I enjoy being 40 more than I ever did my teens and twenties. The only thing I miss from my youth is how easy mobility was in those days. Sadly my physical health got sacrificed for my mental stability. Biggest mistake I ever made. Yet, I don’t know how I could have done it much different. I understand why mentally ill people typically have shorter life spans than those who aren’t mentally ill.

Entering The Long Haul of Summer and Avoiding People

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Another Independence Day has come and gone.  We are now into the middle of summer. From now until usually mid September has traditionally been a tough time of year for me.  I have usually been moodier and more short tempered during the heat of summer.  I am usually good for one psychotic break down during the summer, usually in August or September.  I have had breakdowns in October before too.  But the two times I went to a mental health hospital were both in September.  So as far as the calendar goes, I am beginning to trek into traditionally troublesome times.

I have been avoiding people, at least in person, for the last few days.  I have been doing so well for so long that I don’t really want anything upsetting this winning streak I’m on.  I don’t sleep as much as I used to, but I usually stay up all night until sunrise and sleep until noon most days anymore.  That way I still get some sunlight during the day and get to enjoy the quite and solitude of night as well.  Been spending most of my days reading articles online, watching science videos on youtube, talking to friends and family on the phone, and messing with computers.  I don’t have much of for a social life, but that is by design.  I can’t stand most small talk.  I find talking about the weather, politics, and other people draining, boring, and even physically painful.  I can’t stand talking about mundane and stupid crap I can do nothing about.  Makes me glad I’m an introvert who learned how to keep himself occupied a long time ago.

Looks like I’ll keep this routine up for the next several weeks.  I don’t want to go anywhere and I don’t want to interact with anyone, especially if all they do is complain and moan yet not do anything about their problems.  I’m through listening to petty complaints.  I have enough issues of my own.