Question of the Day: Soulmates

Daily writing prompt
Do you believe in soulmates? Why or why not?

No, I do not believe in the idea of soulmates. At least not in the sense that popular culture often understands the idea. Granted that is just my personal opinion. I’ll go into the further detail.

The idea of soulmates, at least in a lot of people’s minds, is that there is only one person on an entire planet of over 8 billion people that is perfect for another. In reality, humans are not perfect. Even at that individuals change over time.

For example, a person at age 60 is probably not the same person they were at age 18. If they were, that would mean that forty-two years of life experience didn’t change them in one way or another. What a waste of a significant portion of life to have not grown, changed, matured, and let go. We accept that we as individuals are free to grow, evolve, and change over the course of years. Why not apply the same logic to partnering, let alone to a world population of 8 billion in a world that has changed more in the last 25 years than most entire centuries?

In my mind, if the idea of soulmates existed, the divorce rates would be much lower than they are. I totally agree with someone getting out a marriage where the other spouse is abusive, unfaithful, really bad with finances, or a really bad influence on the children.

Speaking of the idea of soulmates, it doesn’t seem to take into account that most marriages eventually produce children. The idea of children in context of much of what is relationship advice in our current era completely ignores that children often result from marriages and sexual relationships. That’s basic biology.

Traditionally, in many societies, marriages were often arranged years in advance. This was to combine family finances, power, prestige, alliances, land, and even with consideration to what kind of traits the children resulting from said marriage would possess after they grew up. Sure, many of those marriages were more stable than many marriages are now. But they may not have been happier than couples today in stable relationships. In those societies, people married more for survival then they did for happiness.

As far as marrying for survival or happiness, neither approach is 100 percent right or wrong. Just because a marriage might last well over 70 years does not mean it was a happy union or the best-case scenario considering the number of choices the two spouses involved before they committed to each other.

At the same time, just because a marriage ends in divorce does not necessarily mean the relationship was pointless and never should have happened. Many divorces involve unions that produced children. Seems kind of heartless to suggest the children resulting from a union should have never happened. Leonardo da Vinchi was born from an out of wedlock pregnancy. Many of us, me included, have lots of friends that were from unions that ended in divorce or from out of wedlock relationships. Really heartless to suggest that those people should have never happened.

If soulmates, at least as the term is popularly understood, do exist, would that also mean that soul friendships or soul children or soul parents exist? Would spirit animals also exist? Would spirit plants also exist? Would spirit oceans and lands exist too? Many societies believe spirits are in everything.

In closing, I’m not convinced on the idea of soulmates, at least not in the sense that popular culture understands it. I fear the idea of soulmates as it’s currently understood is leading to unnecessary unhappiness and strife. Of course, as with all things spiritual, I’m willing to admit I very well could be wrong. My opinions and thoughts are not craved in granite. The ideas I had about how even basic things work at age 45 are not the same as at age 25 or even age 40.

The World Cup, Reduced Joint Pains, Model Railroad Games on Computer, and Fantasy League Baseball

Middle of the week in early summer here in Oklahoma. It’s supposed to rain on and off for the rest of the week. Going to be a change from the blazing heat we’ve already had. My joints do better in the warm and humid summers of Oklahoma than the cold and dry winters of Nebraska.

The World Cup starts on June 11th. I see that Fox is covering quite a few of the knockout round matches. I plan on watching at least a small part of all of them. The US plays Paraguay, I think, on June 12th out in Los Angeles. The international cultural enthusiast in me is wondering when China or Australia will host the tournaments. I hope I live to see that. I still remember how both countries went all out when they hosted the Summer Olympics back in the 2000s.

Feeling very stable mentally. My aches and pains are not nearly as intense as they were last fall or winter. In March the aches in my entire left arm were bad enough the doctors thought it was a dislocated shoulder even though I haven’t fallen the whole time I have been here. The X-rays confirmed it was just bad swelling. Heck I could have told them that and saved a half hour on the X-ray table. I do not appreciate how some medical professionals refuse to listen to patients. I enjoy it even less when a doctor or nurse treats me like I’m a 4-year-old child.

I no longer drink several cups of coffee per day. Most days I usually drink only one cup per day, usually in the early afternoon. Most of what I drink anymore is water or coffee or the occasional orange juice with breakfast.

I haven’t watched much tv since the Thunder lost to the Spurs in Game 7. Lots of people here in OKC are disappointed they didn’t make the Finals. Wait ’till next year, as the old Brooklyn Dodgers used to say when your great grandparents were growing up. Yes, kids, the Dodgers used to be in Brooklyn until about the late 50s.

Thankfully my air conditioner is fixed. At least I had a good fan and easy access to ice water. Now I’m really ready for summer.

Been playing a lot of old Railroad Tycoon II lately. Recently played a tough, but fun scenario of building a railway from Cape Town, South Africa to Cairo, Egypt back in the late 1800s and early 1900s. I think the Africa map is now my favorite map to play.

The America maps in the 1800s are really fun if you like playing against several computer opponents who are trying to pull hostile takeovers and take your customers and tank your stock prices.

The maps and dates are quite accurate to time and place. For example, you’re not going to find cotton farms in Canada, automobile plants in 1890, or diesel engines until the 1940s or steam engines after 1960.

I’m thinking about playing a map of building a high-speed electric route connecting all the major cities in China in the early 21st century. Heck, there are even maps that allow one to play Antarctica in the 2050s. Kind of disappointed that there isn’t a map that allows me to rebuild the Trans-Siberian Railway in Russia. That would be lots of fun.

Even though I’m not a huge fan of Atlas Shrugged, I’m thinking about trying to retrace the fictional Taggert Transcontal lines from information within the book. Read the book back in 2007, so I might have to get a Chatbot summary of the route from the book rather than slog through that long beast again. Took me a whole winter to read that book even when I was in my twenties. Took me an entire summer to read War and Peace when I was in college.

In my fantasy baseball league, my team is starting to win again. We were in dead last out of 12 teams in my yahoo league until a week ago. But the batters finally started hitting for the first real time all season. Going to have to play almost perfect to make the playoffs after Labor Day. In real life baseball, the Rockies are in last place for like the fourth or fifth year in a row. I think being a Rockies fan is kind of like the kids who fall in love with the ugly little stray dog in the neighborhood. You just love it no matter how awful it looks.

Updates, June 2026. Getting Better with Age

Recently celebrated nine months in my current home here in OKC. A lot has changed for me. Updates are in order.

I am now cured of sleep apnea. Stopped using the CPAP machine in March. In my case my sleep apnea was cured by losing weight and fat. Been sleeping so well without the CPAP machine that I almost forgot what sleeping with it was like.

I’m cured of anemia too. It’s a good feeling to not feel weak and sleepy all the time. I sleep probably only half of what I slept even a year ago. Back to being a night owl and regularly writing. It’s a great feeling.

Even my mental illness isn’t as severe now as it was even one year ago. I still take two anti-psychotic medications, which I have been on since a DNA test revealed they would be good for me back in 2015. On top of that, I take only half of the dose I was with one of my medications that I was eight months ago. I haven’t even taken anxiety medications in over a year.

Much of my arthritis pain is gone, especially in my hands and feet. I still have some in my knees. But that will probably get better as I continue to lose weight.

Even my bladder isn’t as weak as it was a few years ago. I forgot how good it feels to hold in taking a pee simply because I can. Sure, my bladder isn’t as strong as it was in my late twenties when I went on road trips with my friends and we stop only for gas and food. At least I can hold in a piss for a longer time than I could a year ago.

Most of the water retention is gone. I can easily wear tight shorts and sweatpants again. As much as I appreciate a good pair of shorts or pants, I can totally understand why the Greeks and Romans liked togas with as much as I’ve worn hospital gowns while my swelling was going down.

I don’t need as much sleep anymore. I sleep like three hours in the night and then three hours in the morning after breakfast. It’s kind of odd to have more free time than I had the last few years because I’m not spending ten to fourteen hours a day sleeping. It’s a great feeling though.

I still don’t socialize much with other patients. I do socialize with the nurses’ aides, nurses, etc. several times a day. So, I’m not totally anti-social.

I usually get weighed the first week of every month. I’m due to be weighed again in a few days. If my body is any indication, I have lost weight in the last 30 days. I’ve lost weight most months I’ve been here in OKC. And I still eat three hot, home cooked meals every day. Heck, because I now eat three home cooked meals every day is probably why I’m losing weight most months.

I haven’t had any real crisis in several months. Sure, I have had annoyances. Most of those clear up within a few days or with a conversation or two with someone else. Even my mail getting lost for a few days isn’t a crisis anymore. Annoyance? Yes. Crisis? No.

I do love being in my forties. The gray hairs and the receding hair line don’t bother me any. Stuff that used to set me off even ten years ago I can laugh at now. I guess it helps that I had most of my crisis in my twenties and early thirties. Being 45 is a heck of a lot more fun than being 35.

I have gotten more respect since turning 40 years old than I did at any previous point in my life. Being a middle-aged man is far better than I could have ever imagined when I first went on disability pension.

Summer 2026: Thoughts on Current Events and the State of the Economy

It’s feeling like summer here in OKC. I see that Europe has gotten really bad heat waves already. Looking like it could be a long summer. The air conditioning broke down on my wing a couple of days ago. At least I have good fans and access to lots of ice water. But the HVAC crew is currently working on the AC system even on a weekend. I love those guys.

In other summer news, my fantasy league baseball team is in last place in my league. Had lots of injuries early on and never recovered. But I play mainly for fun and make the ballgames more interesting. My team is named The Barn Stormers. It’s my first year back after taking two years off. Have done fantasy league baseball since like 2007. But I don’t obsess over it. And I have never gotten into sports gambling or predictions gambling sites like Draft Kings. If I have extra money to play with, I usually prefer the stock market. Just as well put my bachelor’s in business degree to work even while disabled.

Saw on Bloomberg that some of the big oil companies are warning about $160 a barrel crude oil by the end of summer. Crap like that happens when my country decided to go to war and shut down one of the most important sea trade lanes in the world. It’s like my leaders didn’t learn from the mistakes Russia made when invading Ukraine. I was afraid this war with Iran would be a lot longer than people thought. Too bad I was right. I guess some people in power just can’t let others be.

In addition to the high gas prices, another concern is the shortage of fertilizers for farming. So expect higher food prices than we already have. We may end up having to do like our great grandparents did in the 1930s and turn our backyards into gardens and chicken houses. Everyone I personally know who owns a house or rents a house already has a garden. Most of these people started serious gardening during the pandemic.

In other news, AI is replacing office workers really fast. I feared this would happen eventually. I was telling people about this clear back in 2012. Turns out it’s happening faster than even I thought. A friend of mine lost her office job to an AI a couple months ago. Still hasn’t found anything except for some gig work once in a while. I was afraid these changes would happen before the social safety net and laws would be adapted to a world of mass AI. Sadly I was right. It’s like those in power actively want to make things worse for entry and mid level workers.

Before people say ‘go into the trades’, even those are going to experience an oversupply of workers in a few years. That alone will drive down cost of labor. Basic economics, my friends. And what is happening to office workers now, that will be trades people when AI gets good enough to go into robots. Heck, Amazon already ’employs’ robot employees. And automation of factories is happening right now in China. We just don’t hear much about it in the US. Too busy fighting among ourselves to notice how much the world has really changed in the last dozen years. Brushing up on my Mandarin Chinese to get ahead of the rush. Ni hao to my Chinese friends ๐Ÿ™‚ I think that’s how they say ‘hi’ over there.

With the way things are now, I’m glad I moved to OKC three years ago. At least I am close to family now rather than hundreds of miles away stuck in the middle of rural Nebraska. I get along quite well with my brother and his kids. I still see my parents a couple of times a month. My life has gotten a lot less stressful since I moved out of their house in the suburbs. I enjoy being in the city. At least I don’t have to drive everywhere now.

My birthday is in June. My drivers’ license expires then. While I will get the state issued ID, I won’t be renewing my driving license. I don’t think I’m safe being a driver anymore. My reaction times aren’t as sharp as they were even eight years ago. I don’t enjoy driving and haven’t for several years. Besides, here in the city, I get almost anything delivered and can hire Uber or Lyft if I really don’t feel like going out. We have some public transit, but most American cities are not as easily walkable as most places in Europe or Asia.

And why should I have a drivers’ license? Self-driving EVs will be hitting the used car market by the time I get well enough I could potentially leave my facility. I used to joke that my niece and youngest nephew would never really need a drivers’ license. My brother owns a self-driving EV. So, I guess I was right even when I made that prediction back in 2017.

I totally understand why people are worried about tech unemployment. As much as people complain about their jobs, it does give them structure and meaning. It took me a long time to adapt to life after employment once my schizophrenia got bad enough to destroy my career. It was one hell of a blow to my pride to get crippling panic attacks every day before I went to even a minimum wage job. I’m thankful for disability pension and was able to escape that mess before it killed me. I suppose you could say doing this blog is my way of giving back even though I can no longer hold a minimum wage job.

Memorial Day Weekend 2026

Memorial Day weekend starts today. Unofficial start of summer here in the US. The schools have let out for the summer here in the city. After several days of cool and rainy weather it’s starting to feel like early summer. And I am loving it.

Traditionally summers have been my toughest time of year. August is typically my worst month for mental health problems. Maybe this year will be different. This is going to be my first summer since 2021 I am effectively living by myself. In summer 2022 I had an awful roommate who was hard of hearing, watched his tv at full volume and always watched reality tv and Doomsday Preppers. He was often sit in his wheelchair in the middle of the room and always refused to move his chair out of the way whenever I had to use the bathroom. He finally got moved in September after he yelled at and kicked a nurse. Wasn’t sorry to see him leave. After he left, I did four months of physical therapy, got far more mentally stable, and lost a bunch of weight.

In February 2023 I got well enough to make the move from rural Nebraska to suburban Oklahoma City. I lived with my parents until something permanent came open. Originally, I was hoping to find something by the end of summer 2023. Turns out I didn’t find anything permanent until summer 2025. Two and a half years of little privacy and watching my parents age and decline messed with my head. It got bad enough that for several months I left my room only to use the bathroom, clean up, and make my own dinner. It was just too painful watching my parents decline. That, and the house wasn’t wheelchair accessible. Even the front door and sidewalk was too narrow for my wheelchair. In some ways, it wasn’t much better than being in jail.

Eventually the hard times ended. My hard times ended when I moved to a facility in the downtown area. I moved here on Labor Day weekend in 2025. I have been doing well and making improvements in the last nine months I have lived here.

Medication wise, I’m down to only one blood pressure medication per day. I take only two psych meds a day instead of the three I was on when I first moved here. And one of the two medications I am currently on is only half the dose I was a taking when I first moved here. Most of my arthritis is gone as long as I take Tylenol and ibophrophen once a day.

I’m on good enough terms with the aides and nurses now that they don’t bother me much and generally leave me alone unless I really need help. I can stand up but still can’t walk from the bed to the front door. I have lost over 100 pounds in the last eight months and lost over 170 pounds since March 2020. I have a new goal of eventually being below 200 pounds. Probably take another few years. But I have developed better habits, have a stable living arrangement for the first time since late 2021, and am not worried about irritable neighbors trying to get me evicted. I thrive in circumstances where I have enough money to eat healthy meals and am not worried about getting kicked out of my home on a landlord’s whim and neighbors’ lies. The cost of rent has gotten inhumane in most places in the US in the last several years.

In other news, my blog is starting to get some real attention. I think it helps that I have been writing an average of once or twice a week for the past 14 years. A few dollars a day worth of advertising really helps. No different than any business. No one is going to visit if they don’t know I’m out here.

I haven’t done this well for this long ever. It’s cool to finally have some privacy and autonomy that people actually respect. I enjoy living where people aren’t going to go through my personal things or look over my shoulder when I’m writing, reading, or doing computer simulation games.

It’s good to have neighbors who aren’t always spying on me or whispering behind my back whenever I run errands. I never had that until I moved to my current home. It’s good that it’s actually quiet here at night most nights. I don’t have to listen to neighbors blasting their tv or arguing with each other most nights.

It’s nice to live in a complex where the cops aren’t showing up every day to break up domestic disputes or investigate thefts or assaults. Goodness knows I never had that in 16 years of living in low-income housing even in a small town. The last three to four years were the worst. The pandemic made it unbearable to even leave my apartment. Thankful I’m no longer in that toxic hellhole mess. Only time I had privacy as a kid was when I went to the backyard. And sometimes the neighborhood kids would watch me as I paced and made up stories. It was like, ‘God, why can’t these people get a life.’

Thankfully my life is no longer like that. I am never voluntarily going back to that kind of life. I don’t care if I am loved by my neighbor. I just want him to leave me the hell alone. At least I get that here in the city. And I love it. My goodness I love it. First in my life I can truly be free to be myself without blowback and repercussions. Where was this the first 45 years of my life? Now I would love to make it another 45 years if I can live the way I currently go.

Bricktown After Midnight Notes

At 12:14 a.m., Bricktown sounded like glass.

Not breaking glass. Living glass.

The soft clink of beer bottles on patio tables. The neon shimmer reflected across canal water. Elevator doors opening inside converted warehouse lofts. Wind rattling old windows that had once belonged to cotton exchanges and machine shops and feed companies long dead.

Cal Mercer wrote all of it down.

He sat alone beneath the red glow of a flickering sign outside an all-night diner on Sheridan Avenue, notebook open, coffee cooling beside him. The waitress had stopped asking if he wanted a refill two hours ago. She knew the type.

Night people.

People who werenโ€™t waiting for someone.

People listening for something.

Cal was thirty-eight and technically employed by nobody. Three years earlier heโ€™d worked as a features reporter for a shrinking newspaper in Oklahoma City until the paper collapsed into digital fragments and syndicated wire copy. Since then heโ€™d drifted into freelancing, then drifting in general.

But every nightโ€”especially in Bricktownโ€”he wrote notes.

Not articles.

Not stories.

Notes.

Observations.

Fragments.

He filled legal pads with things nobody else noticed.

12:14 a.m. โ€” bachelor party from Wichita loses one groomsman near Mickey Mantle statue. Remaining group unconcerned.

12:31 a.m. โ€” woman in silver heels crying while eating street tacos beside canal. Not drunk. Angry.

12:47 a.m. โ€” train horn west of downtown. Three people stop talking mid-sentence to listen.

That last one mattered.

Because trains still owned the city after midnight.

Even now.

Especially now.


Bricktown changed personalities depending on the hour.

At noon it belonged to tourists and office workers.

At seven it belonged to ballgames and dinner reservations.

At midnight it belonged to motion.

Bartenders cleaning taps. Security guards outside music venues. Rideshare drivers circling like patient sharks. Hotel clerks. Insomniacs. Kitchen workers smoking beside dumpsters. Amateur musicians loading amps into vans.

And the trains.

Always the trains.

Freight lines slid through the edges of downtown like enormous invisible animals. Their sounds bounced between brick buildings and old warehouses, folding into the cityโ€™s heartbeat.

Cal had become obsessed with them.

Not the machinery itself.

The timing.

The rhythm.

The way Bricktown seemed to reorganize around distant movement.

He started mapping train horns in his notebooks.

One long blast near the river changed pedestrian flow three blocks east.

A stopped freight near Reno Avenue delayed traffic enough to empty two bars earlier than usual.

Tiny disruptions. Cascading consequences.

The city was a system.

Most people just never stayed awake long enough to see it operating.


At 1:08 a.m., Cal wandered toward the canal.

The water reflected blue neon from a piano bar and green light from a pharmacy sign farther down the street. Ducks drifted through artificial currents beneath low pedestrian bridges while drunk college kids shouted across the water.

A canal boat slid past carrying six tourists and a guide who sounded exhausted.

โ€œOn your left,โ€ the guide said mechanically, โ€œyouโ€™ll see one of the original warehouse buildings from the early twentieth centuryโ€ฆโ€

Nobody listened.

Cal wrote anyway.

Tour guides become ghosts after midnight. Continue speaking even when nobody hears them.

That one felt important.

He circled it twice.


Near the old brick warehouses by the railroad tracks, he found the saxophone player again.

The man appeared almost every Friday night around 1:30 a.m., always wearing the same gray suit regardless of weather. He played beneath a burned-out streetlamp facing the rail yard.

Never for money.

Never for crowds.

Tonight the song sounded slow and fractured, notes dissolving into the warm Oklahoma air.

Cal leaned against a wall and listened.

The sax player stopped mid-song without looking up.

โ€œYouโ€™re writing about me again,โ€ he said.

Cal blinked.

โ€œIโ€™m not writing about you specifically.โ€

โ€œSure.โ€

The man adjusted the reed.

โ€œYouโ€™re writing about people who donโ€™t go home.โ€

A freight train groaned somewhere west of downtown.

Cal considered denying it.

Instead, he said, โ€œMaybe.โ€

The sax player nodded like that confirmed something.

โ€œYou know what Bricktown really is after midnight?โ€

โ€œWhat?โ€

โ€œA waiting room.โ€

Cal wrote that down immediately.

The musician laughed softly.

โ€œSee? Thatโ€™s exactly what I mean.โ€


At 1:52 a.m., rain started.

Not heavy rain. Oklahoma summer rain. Warm and sudden and reflective.

Brick streets gleamed black beneath neon signs.

Couples sprinted beneath awnings laughing.

Bouncers stepped backward into doorways.

The canal rippled with shattered colors.

Cal loved Bricktown in rain because the city looked unfinished.

Like memory.

Like a place halfway between decades.

He walked east toward the railroad overpass where murals peeled from damp concrete walls. Water dripped through cracks overhead.

That was where he found the notebook.

It sat on a bench beside the canal.

Black cover.

No name.

No phone number.

Just a rubber band wrapped around the middle.

Cal looked around.

Nobody nearby.

He picked it up.

For a moment he considered leaving it alone.

Then he opened it.

Inside were notes.

Hundreds of them.

Not unlike his own.

But stranger.


11:41 p.m. โ€” bartender at whiskey bar wipes same glass for seven minutes while staring at television with no sound.

12:03 a.m. โ€” man in Thunder jersey says he moved back to Oklahoma because โ€œDallas forgot him.โ€

12:26 a.m. โ€” every couple crossing the canal bridge walks slightly out of step.

1:11 a.m. โ€” freight trains create temporary loneliness in surrounding streets.

Cal stopped walking.

The handwriting was compact and deliberate.

Observational.

Precise.

And deeply familiar.

He turned pages faster.

The notebook mapped Bricktown like a psychological weather report.

Patterns of movement.

Emotional currents.

Behavior loops.

One page simply read:

People reveal themselves most honestly between 12:30 and 2:00 a.m. because exhaustion disables performance.

Another:

Cities have subconscious minds. Bricktownโ€™s appears nostalgic but restless.

Cal stared at the canal water.

Someone else had been studying the city the same way he had.

Maybe for years.


At 2:17 a.m., he entered a nearly empty bar called The Lantern Room two blocks off the canal.

It wasnโ€™t popular enough for tourists.

Which made it valuable.

Three people occupied the entire place: a bartender polishing bottles, a woman asleep in a booth, and an older man eating fries while reading horse racing statistics.

Cal ordered coffee.

The bartender eyed the notebook.

โ€œYou find it?โ€

Cal froze.

โ€œYou know whose this is?โ€

The bartender shrugged.

โ€œGuy leaves it around sometimes.โ€

โ€œWhat guy?โ€

โ€œTall. Thin. Looks tired even when he isnโ€™t.โ€

โ€œThat describes half of downtown.โ€

โ€œTrue.โ€

The bartender poured coffee.

โ€œHe comes in around closing. Writes stuff. Never drinks much.โ€

Cal opened the notebook again.

โ€œDo you know his name?โ€

โ€œNope.โ€

โ€œHave you talked to him?โ€

โ€œNot really. But he asked weird questions.โ€

โ€œWhat kind of questions?โ€

The bartender thought for a second.

โ€œStuff like whether bars can sense when theyโ€™re dying.โ€

Cal stopped writing.

โ€œThatโ€™s not weird,โ€ he said quietly.

The bartender gave him a long look.

โ€œThen there are apparently two of you.โ€


The rain intensified around 2:40 a.m.

Outside the windows, Bricktown blurred into watercolor reflections and smeared headlights.

The sleeping woman in the booth woke suddenly, looked confused for several seconds, then left without speaking.

The old man finished his fries and disappeared into the rain.

Cal remained.

Reading.

The notebookโ€™s entries grew stranger deeper in.

Less observational.

More philosophical.


Bricktown survives by reinventing loneliness as entertainment.

Most cities sleep. Entertainment districts pretend not to.

Every bartender in America becomes a temporary therapist after midnight.

The canal is artificial but the loneliness around it is real.


Then, near the back, a sentence underlined three times:

There are nights when the city notices you observing it.

Cal felt cold despite the heat.

He checked the cover again for a name.

Nothing.

Only initials pressed faintly into the inside leather.

R.K.


At 3:06 a.m., the bartender locked the front door.

โ€œClosing time.โ€

Cal nodded distractedly.

โ€œYou keeping that notebook?โ€

โ€œI guess until I find the owner.โ€

The bartender smirked.

โ€œMaybe he found you instead.โ€


Outside, Bricktown had thinned into fragments.

Street sweepers hummed along curbs.

Security guards leaned against alley walls smoking cigarettes.

The loud crowds were gone now, replaced by isolated voices echoing between buildings.

This was Calโ€™s favorite hour.

The hour after performance.

The city without makeup.

He walked beneath the railroad bridge near Reno Avenue while rainwater dripped from rusted steel beams overhead.

A train moved somewhere nearby.

Slow.

Heavy.

Invisible behind warehouses.

The sound rolled through the streets like distant thunder.

Cal opened the notebook again while standing beneath the bridge.

A loose page slipped free.

Typed, not handwritten.

A list of locations.

Dates.

Times.

Bricktown landmarks.

Canal.

Hotels.

Parking garages.

Train crossings.

Each entry paired with precise observations about crowd movement and behavioral patterns.

It looked less like journaling and more like surveillance.

Or research.

At the bottom was a final note:

Patterns become predictable after enough observation. Prediction becomes influence.

Cal stared at the page while rain tapped concrete around him.

Something about the wording unsettled him.

Not because it sounded dangerous.

Because it sounded true.


At 3:29 a.m., he saw the man.

Standing near the railroad crossing.

Tall.

Thin.

Dark jacket soaked by rain.

Watching freight cars pass slowly through downtown.

Cal approached carefully.

โ€œYou dropped this,โ€ he called out, holding the notebook up.

The man turned.

Late forties maybe.

Sharp features.

Exhausted eyes.

He didnโ€™t seem surprised.

โ€œDid I?โ€

Cal stopped several feet away.

โ€œIt has your initials.โ€

The man smiled faintly.

โ€œDoes it?โ€

โ€œYouโ€™re R.K.?โ€

The train thundered between them for a moment, steel shrieking against steel.

When it passed, the man said, โ€œWhat did you think of the notes?โ€

Cal hesitated.

โ€œThey felt familiar.โ€

โ€œThatโ€™s unfortunate.โ€

โ€œWhy?โ€

โ€œBecause it means youโ€™ve stayed awake too long.โ€

Rain hissed against the tracks.

Downtown glowed behind them.

Cal studied him carefully.

โ€œWho are you?โ€

โ€œObserver,โ€ the man said.

โ€œThatโ€™s not an answer.โ€

โ€œItโ€™s the only accurate one.โ€


They walked together beneath the overpass while freight cars rolled endlessly beside them.

The man never gave a name.

But he talked.

About Bricktown.

About cities.

About systems.

โ€œThe interesting thing about entertainment districts,โ€ he said, โ€œis that they expose emotional logistics.โ€

Cal frowned.

โ€œEmotional logistics?โ€

โ€œMovement patterns based on loneliness, hope, boredom, alcohol, memory.โ€

โ€œThat sounds made up.โ€

โ€œEverything sounds made up until it repeats.โ€

The man gestured toward downtown.

โ€œWatch long enough and every city becomes predictable.โ€

They stopped beside the canal where rainwater rippled neon reflections into abstract colors.

โ€œYou ever notice,โ€ the man asked, โ€œhow people slow down crossing bridges at night?โ€

Cal nodded slowly.

โ€œI wrote that once.โ€

โ€œI know.โ€

Cal looked at him sharply.

โ€œWhat?โ€

The man smiled.

โ€œYouโ€™re not the first person to study this place.โ€

A canal boat drifted silently beneath a bridge, empty except for the operator.

The city felt suspended.

Half real.

Half reflection.


โ€œWhy leave the notebook?โ€ Cal asked.

โ€œBecause eventually observers need successors.โ€

โ€œThat sounds dramatic.โ€

โ€œItโ€™s midnight. Everything sounds dramatic after midnight.โ€

Cal laughed despite himself.

The man continued walking.

โ€œYou know why Bricktown matters?โ€

โ€œTourism?โ€

โ€œMemory.โ€

The answer came instantly.

โ€œThis district keeps rebuilding itself into whatever the city needs emotionally. Warehouse district. Abandoned zone. Entertainment hub. Baseball neighborhood. Luxury apartment corridor.โ€

He glanced toward the old brick buildings.

โ€œCities survive by rewriting identity faster than residents can mourn older versions.โ€

Cal wrote the sentence down automatically.

The man noticed.

โ€œThere it is again.โ€

โ€œWhat?โ€

โ€œYou donโ€™t experience moments anymore. You archive them.โ€

That landed harder than Cal expected.

Because it was true.


At 4:02 a.m., they entered a parking garage overlooking downtown.

The rain had finally slowed.

From the top level, Bricktown stretched beneath them in wet streets and fading lights.

The Ferris wheel near the river glowed pale against low clouds.

Train tracks cut dark lines through the city.

Sirens echoed somewhere far away.

The man leaned against the concrete railing.

โ€œMost people think cities are buildings,โ€ he said.

โ€œTheyโ€™re schedules.โ€

Cal stayed quiet.

โ€œDelivery routes. Shift changes. Traffic timing. Last calls. Freight schedules. Cleaning crews. Morning prep workers.โ€

He pointed toward downtown.

โ€œMidnight is where all those systems overlap.โ€

Below them, a bakery truck turned onto Sheridan.

Lights flickered on inside a coffee shop preparing for dawn customers.

โ€œYou can feel the handoff happen,โ€ the man said softly.

โ€œThe city changing shifts.โ€

Cal suddenly understood why the notebook felt familiar.

Not because the observations matched his.

Because the perspective did.

The obsession with invisible systems.

The hidden machinery beneath ordinary life.


โ€œWho were you before this?โ€ Cal asked.

The man laughed quietly.

โ€œBefore what?โ€

โ€œBefore wandering Bricktown at four in the morning writing philosophy notes.โ€

โ€œConsultant.โ€

โ€œFor what?โ€

โ€œLogistics.โ€

Of course.

Cal almost smiled.

The man continued.

โ€œI used to optimize supply chains. Regional freight movement. Distribution timing.โ€

โ€œWhat happened?โ€

โ€œI realized cities behave exactly like transportation networks.โ€

Lightning flickered far west beyond the skyline.

โ€œEverything moves,โ€ the man said. โ€œGoods. People. Emotions. Regret. Hope. Same principles.โ€

He looked directly at Cal.

โ€œYouโ€™ve noticed it too.โ€

Cal didnโ€™t answer.

Because yes.

He had.

For years.


At 4:31 a.m., dawn began leaking slowly into the eastern sky.

Not sunrise yet.

Just the soft graying that makes neon signs look suddenly exhausted.

Bricktown after midnight was ending.

The spell breaking.

Workers would arrive soon.

Coffee shops would fill.

Joggers would reclaim sidewalks from drunks and insomniacs.

The man picked up the notebook from Calโ€™s hands.

Then paused.

โ€œNo,โ€ he said finally, handing it back.

โ€œYou keep it.โ€

Cal blinked.

โ€œWhy?โ€

โ€œBecause youโ€™re still paying attention.โ€

Before Cal could respond, the man started down the parking garage stairs.

โ€œWait,โ€ Cal called after him.

โ€œWhatโ€™s your name?โ€

The man stopped halfway down.

For a second, Cal thought he might answer.

Instead he said:

โ€œWatch the trains.โ€

Then he disappeared.


At 5:02 a.m., Cal sat alone beside the canal again.

Morning workers moved through the district carrying coffee and keys and backpacks.

Street cleaners sprayed sidewalks.

The city was rebooting itself.

He opened the notebook.

On the final page, in handwriting shakier than the rest, was one last entry.

Bricktown after midnight is not about nightlife.

It is about transition.

People becoming different versions of themselves between darkness and morning.

Below that:

The ones who notice this never entirely return to daytime.

Cal closed the notebook slowly.

A freight horn echoed somewhere beyond downtown.

Long.

Low.

Ancient.

For the first time in months, maybe years, Cal stopped writing.

He just listened.

The sound rolled across Bricktownโ€™s wet streets and fading neon and silent canal water, threading through old warehouses and empty patios and awakening kitchens.

Movement.

Systems.

Invisible connections.

The city breathing between shifts.

And as dawn finally arrived over Oklahoma City, Cal realized something that felt both comforting and dangerous:

Bricktown had been taking notes too.

Anticipating the 2026 World Cup: Sports and Community in Oklahoma

Starting to feel like summer here in Oklahoma City. Hot weather and most of the schools will be out for summer break by the end of the week. And the Thunder have gone deep into the NBA playoffs again. Lost a heart breaker in overtime here in OKC last night. Don’t have any time to lick our wounds as we got to play again in a couple days.

Mentally I haven’t felt this stable for this long since before I was diagnosed with schizophrenia way back in the year 2000. Been almost 26 years with a diagnosis. I don’t know if the symptoms have gotten less severe with age or if I am better with working around them at age 45 than I was even at 35. Either way I haven’t felt this good or hopeful since I was a kid. Not the norm for most people, let alone the mentally ill.

As far as psych medication is concerned, I’m taking only two psych meds per day. And one of those I need only half of the dose I was taking twelve months ago. I’m not on anything for anxiety. And I’ve been on the same two medications long enough that both are now in generic versions. Since the US doesn’t have Universal Healthcare, that means my meds are quite a bit cheaper now than they would have been even a couple of years ago but still quite pricey compared to most of the developed world.

Will the US ever have Universal Healthcare? I would say probably not until mass unemployment due to AI and Robotic Laborers became prominent and a significant percentage of the labor pool is left unemployed. Many people in my country are paranoid of governments enough that they simply don’t trust the federal or state government with handling healthcare. Many of my countrymen feel it sounds too much like government overreach. I do still think that the future can be really cool and prosperous. It has been brutal and probably will continue to be brutal to manage and navigate the transitions.

Many people here in the US have never really trusted government or any authority figures for that matter. Makes for a low trust society without much for social support outside of traditional places like family, community, and houses of worship for those who fall on hard times. And, of course, all three (family, community, and religious institutions) have weaker influence now than in previous eras in most places, not just in the US.

The US, along with Mexico and Canada, is playing host to the World Cup tournament starting in mid-June. Even though I don’t have a favorite professional team, I am excited to see the US host a good portion of the World Cup. Football (as the 96 percent of people who don’t live in the US understand it) isn’t as popular in the US as it is in most places. I’m not even sure what country is favored to win it this year.

Argentia won it in 2022, and France won it in 2018. That I remember and have written about in old blog entries. I know that Dallas, Houston, and Kansas City are hosting the matches that are within driving distance of Oklahoma. I’m interested in the cultural type activities that take place in host cities during the tournament.

It is difficult that many of my countrymen have become distrusting of foreigners and immigrants in recent years. Many forget that at one time their ancestors were the immigrants. I doubt my German ancestors knew much English when they first arrived. At one time people were accusing the Irish of taking most of the entry level jobs. I guess some things, other than the names and locations, never change.

I’m going to watch as many World Cup games as I can find even if the US doesn’t do well. I’m thinking about seeing in Amazon Prime has a setup where I can get all of the games the tv networks don’t cover. I had heard that negotiations for tv contracts were going rough with some countries, particularly China. I hope they get that settled before the games start. I don’t think many of my countrymen don’t realize just how big the World Cup really is. I guess that we are too isolated here in the US on many things.

I’m excited for the summer of 2026.I have finally adapted to hotter summers and less cold in winter. I’m enjoying Thunder basketball making another run for NBA champions and especially the World Cup tournament. It will be an eventful summer.

Short Story: Friday Night Archive

The tapes smelled like mildew, cigarette smoke, and basement dust.

Darren Vrbka stacked them carefully on the folding table inside the old volunteer fire hall in Broken Bow, Nebraska. Gray plastic VHS cases. Handwritten labels in fading Sharpie:

MULLEN 1998
MERNA VS ANSLEY
STATE SEMIS 2001
ELK CREEK HOMECOMING

Every tape carried a little bit of somebodyโ€™s youth inside it.

Outside, late November wind rattled the loose metal siding of the building. Pickup trucks sat angled beneath yellow streetlights. The whole town had gone quiet after seven oโ€™clock, the way small Nebraska towns always did once football season ended and winter started settling into the roads.

Inside, five men in their early forties stood around old card tables drinking gas station coffee and pretending they werenโ€™t emotional.

โ€œYou still got the same haircut,โ€ Cody Fischer said, pointing at the paused TV screen.

Darren looked up.

The image showed seventeen-year-old Darren standing on a sideline in shoulder pads that looked too large for his body, blond hair sticking out beneath his helmet.

โ€œHell,โ€ Darren muttered. โ€œThat was before life hit me with a shovel.โ€

The others laughed.

Not loudly.

Middle-aged men rarely laughed loudly anymore.


They had all played 8-man football together in the late 1990s and early 2000s, back when western Nebraska towns still had enough kids to field teams and enough optimism to believe their sons might leave and come back successful someday.

Most never did.

Or they came back damaged.

Or divorced.

Or tired.


Darren repaired irrigation systems now.

Cody sold crop insurance.

Luis Ortega managed a feed store outside Kearney.

Benji Rother worked nights driving a gravel truck.

And Shane McCallโ€”once the fastest quarterback in Custer Countyโ€”walked with a limp from a construction accident that had ended his career before anything had really started.

Tonight was supposed to be simple.

Nostalgia.

Digitize the old tapes before they degraded completely.

A local history project.

Thatโ€™s what Darrenโ€™s daughter called it when she mailed him the video conversion equipment from Omaha.

โ€œPreserve your memories, Dad.โ€

Like memories needed preserving.

Like they werenโ€™t already carved into these men permanently.


The first tape rolled grainy and distorted across the screen.

A cloudy Friday night in October 1999.

Tiny wooden bleachers.

Pickup trucks lined behind the field.

Teenage boys wearing oversized pads under weak stadium lights.

The footage shook constantly because somebodyโ€™s dad had filmed it while yelling at referees.

โ€œLook at us,โ€ Luis said quietly.

Nobody answered.

Because there they were.

Young again.

Fast again.

Alive in a way middle age never quite allowed.


โ€œYou remember that game?โ€ Cody asked.

โ€œAgainst Stapleton?โ€

โ€œYeah.โ€

Darren nodded slowly.

โ€œCold as hell.โ€

โ€œYour nose got busted.โ€

โ€œStill crooked.โ€

They watched themselves move across the screen.

The old option offense.

Dust kicking up beneath cleats.

The rhythm of small-town football before social media, before smartphones, before every mistake lived forever online.

Back then mistakes disappeared into cold air.


Benji fed another tape into the converter.

โ€œState quarterfinals,โ€ he announced dramatically.

โ€œWatch Shane overthrow every damn receiver on earth.โ€

โ€œStill won,โ€ Shane muttered.

The tape crackled alive.

Crowd noise.

Helmet pops.

The low hum of Friday night electricity.

Then the game began.


At first everything seemed normal.

Exactly how they remembered it.

Shane scrambling left.

Cody catching a slant route.

Luis intercepting a pass near midfield.

Then Darren frowned.

โ€œWait.โ€

The room went quiet.

He pointed at the screen.

โ€œBack it up.โ€

Benji rewound.

Static lines flickered.

The play replayed.

Third quarter. Two minutes left.

Shane dropped back to pass.

A defender blitzed untouched.

Shane spun away.

Thenโ€”

The footage distorted briefly.

Like tracking interference.

And for half a second another figure appeared near the sideline.

A player wearing an all-black uniform.

No number.

No logo.

Just black.

Standing perfectly still.

Watching the field.


โ€œWhat the hell is that?โ€ Cody asked.

Nobody answered.

Benji paused the tape.

The figure blurred in static.

Impossible to make out clearly.

Shane laughed nervously.

โ€œProbably tape damage.โ€

But nobody really believed that.

Because the figure hadnโ€™t distorted like the rest of the frame.

It lookedโ€ฆinserted.

Intentional.


โ€œRun it again,โ€ Darren said.

Benji did.

The figure remained.

Watching.

Motionless.

Then gone.


Luis folded his arms.

โ€œThat wasnโ€™t there before.โ€

โ€œYou sure?โ€

โ€œI watched this tape twenty times after we lost State.โ€

Darren looked at Shane.

โ€œYou remember anybody dressed like that?โ€

Shane shook his head immediately.

โ€œNo.โ€

But he didnโ€™t sound certain.


Outside, wind scraped dead leaves across the parking lot.

Inside, the old fire hall suddenly felt colder.


They kept watching.

At first they tried joking again.

Normal conversation.

Talking about old coaches and girlfriends and who drank too much after graduation.

But something had shifted.

Everyone kept staring at the corners of the screen now.

Looking for movement.


Then another moment appeared.

Different game.

Mullen versus Ansley.

Fourth quarter.

Darren caught a screen pass near midfield.

The crowd roared.

The cameraman swung wildly trying to follow the play.

And thereโ€”

Again.

The black-uniformed figure.

Closer this time.

Standing near the far sideline.

Still motionless.


โ€œWhat the hell,โ€ Benji whispered.

Shane leaned closer to the television.

โ€œPause it.โ€

The frame froze.

The figureโ€™s face remained hidden beneath shadow despite the stadium lights.

But now they could see something else.

It wasnโ€™t wearing pads.

The shoulders were too narrow.

The proportions wrong.

Almost human.

But not quite.


Cody forced a laugh.

โ€œMaybe some goth kid wandered onto the field.โ€

Nobody laughed back.


Darren stood up and walked toward the coffee pot.

His knees hurt now when he stood too quickly.

That annoyed him more than it should.

He poured stale coffee into a paper cup while trying not to think about the figure.

โ€œYou know whatโ€™s weird?โ€ Luis said behind him.

Darren turned.

Luis pointed at the screen.

โ€œThat play never happened.โ€

Silence.

โ€œWhat?โ€ Shane asked.

Luis shook his head slowly.

โ€œIโ€™m serious. Darren never caught that pass.โ€

โ€œYes I did.โ€

โ€œNo,โ€ Luis insisted. โ€œYou fumbled on second down before halftime. I remember because Coach Reynolds lost his mind.โ€

Darren frowned.

At first he wanted to argue.

Then something uncomfortable settled into his stomach.

Becauseโ€ฆ

Maybe Luis was right.


They rewound again.

Watched carefully.

The play existed clearly on tape.

Darren caught the ball.

Ran twenty yards.

First down.

Crowd cheering.

Completely real.

And yet none of them remembered it happening.

Not even Darren.


Benji looked pale now.

โ€œThatโ€™s not possible.โ€

โ€œNo,โ€ Shane muttered quietly. โ€œIt isnโ€™t.โ€


The next tape was worse.


Homecoming game.

Rainy night.

The footage blurred constantly with streaks of water across the lens.

Halfway through the second quarter, the camera drifted toward the stands.

Parents under umbrellas.

Teenagers flirting beneath blankets.

Old men drinking coffee in insulated thermoses.

Then the black figure appeared again.

This time sitting alone in the top row.

Watching the game.

Watching them.


The tape emitted a sharp burst of static.

The screen warped violently.

Then another image appeared for less than a second.

Not football.

A road at night.

Headlights.

Rain.

And something overturned in a ditch.


The image vanished.

Back to the game immediately.


Nobody spoke.

The old heater rattled loudly in the corner.


Shane finally broke the silence.

โ€œDo you guys remember Travis Lind?โ€

Darren looked up sharply.

Of course they remembered Travis.

Everybody did.


Travis had been their running back in sophomore year.

Fastest kid in town.

Funny as hell.

Died in a car accident after a playoff game in 2000.

Truck slid off Highway 2 during freezing rain.

Killed instantly.


โ€œWeโ€™re not doing this,โ€ Cody said immediately.

But Shane kept staring at the screen.

โ€œThat road,โ€ he said softly. โ€œThat looked like where Travis wrecked.โ€

Nobody answered.

Because they all thought the same thing.


Darren rubbed his face hard.

โ€œOkay. Enough creepy crap. Tape glitches happen.โ€

โ€œDo they?โ€ Luis asked quietly.

Darren looked at him.

Luis pointed toward the paused image.

โ€œBecause I donโ€™t remember that guy at all.โ€


Neither did anybody else.

And in small-town Nebraska football, everybody remembered everybody.

Especially strangers.


Benji loaded another tape.

His hands shook slightly now.

โ€œYou know whatโ€™s really bothering me?โ€ he asked.

โ€œWhat?โ€

โ€œThe figure keeps getting closer.โ€


Nobody wanted to admit he was right.

But he was.


Early tapes showed the figure distant.

Near fences.

Top rows of bleachers.

Far sideline.

But as years passed, it moved closer to the field.

Closer to them.


The next tape confirmed it.

State semifinals.

Biggest game most of them had ever played.

Snow flurries under stadium lights.

The figure stood directly behind their bench.

Clearly visible now.

Tall.

Thin.

Black clothing that absorbed light strangely.

Watching the players.

Watching Shane specifically.


Shane swore quietly.

โ€œWhat?โ€

โ€œThere,โ€ he said.

He pointed toward the screen.

โ€œRight before halftime.โ€

Benji rewound.

Played slowly.

The camera followed Shane jogging off the field.

For half a second, Shane turned his head toward the figure.

And nodded.


The room went silent.


โ€œI never did that,โ€ Shane whispered.

But even he didnโ€™t sound convinced anymore.


Darren suddenly remembered something.

Not fully.

Just fragments.

A locker room.

Wet concrete floors.

Coach yelling.

And Shane sitting alone before one game talking quietly to someone.

Someone Darren couldnโ€™t see clearly.


โ€œYou okay?โ€ Cody asked.

Darren looked up.

โ€œNo.โ€


Outside, snow had started falling lightly across Broken Bow.

Inside the fire hall, the television glow painted everyone pale blue.

Middle-aged men staring into the graveyard of their own memories.


Luis stood slowly.

โ€œIโ€™m gonna smoke.โ€

โ€œYou quit ten years ago.โ€

โ€œNot tonight.โ€

He stepped outside.

Cold wind rushed briefly into the room before the door shut.


Shane kept staring at the paused image of himself nodding toward the black figure.

Finally he spoke.

โ€œThereโ€™s something I never told you guys.โ€

Nobody moved.


โ€œMy senior yearโ€ฆโ€ Shane swallowed hard. โ€œI started seeing somebody at games.โ€

Darrenโ€™s chest tightened.

โ€œWhat do you mean seeing somebody?โ€

โ€œI thought it was stress or exhaustion or whatever. But thereโ€™d always be this guy standing near the field.โ€

โ€œThe black uniform?โ€

Shane nodded slowly.

โ€œI could never see his face.โ€

Benji whispered, โ€œJesus Christ.โ€


โ€œI never said anything because it sounded insane,โ€ Shane continued. โ€œBut every time I saw him, weโ€™d win.โ€

The heater clicked loudly.

Outside wind rattled the walls.


Cody shook his head immediately.

โ€œNo. Nope. Weโ€™re not turning this into some ghost story.โ€

โ€œIโ€™m serious.โ€

โ€œYou probably imagined it.โ€

โ€œMaybe.โ€

But Shane still sounded uncertain.


Darren sat back down slowly.

Because now pieces were returning.

Not full memories.

Sensations.

Unease before kickoff.

The feeling of being watched during games.

Certain plays feeling strangely predetermined.


Luis returned smelling like cigarette smoke and winter air.

โ€œYouโ€™re all white as hell,โ€ he said.

Nobody answered.


Benji pressed play again.

The game resumed.

Snow falling harder.

Crowd roaring.

Then the footage skipped.

Static exploded across the screen.

The image rolled violently.

And suddenlyโ€”

The camera angle changed.

No longer filming the field.

Now filming the players directly from behind the bench.

As if another person held the camera.


โ€œWhat the hell?โ€ Darren whispered.

The footage moved slowly between players.

Past coaches.

Past helmets.

Then stopped on Shane.

The black figure stood beside him.

Not threatening.

Not aggressive.

Just present.


And then Shane spoke.

Not to teammates.

Not to coaches.

To the figure.


The audio crackled badly.

But they heard enough.

Shane saying:

โ€œNot tonight.โ€

The figure tilted its head slightly.

Then static consumed the frame.


The tape ended.

Blue screen.

Silence.


Nobody moved for nearly a full minute.

Finally Cody spoke.

โ€œThatโ€™s fake.โ€

But his voice shook.


โ€œIt canโ€™t be fake,โ€ Benji replied. โ€œThese tapes sat in Darrenโ€™s basement for twenty years.โ€

Darren stared blankly at the television.

Because another memory had surfaced now.

The state semifinal game.

Halftime.

Shane disappearing briefly from the locker room.

Returning pale and distant.

At the time Darren assumed heโ€™d been throwing up from nerves.

Now he wasnโ€™t sure.


Shane leaned forward.

โ€œI thinkโ€ฆโ€ He stopped.

โ€œWhat?โ€

โ€œI think there were games I donโ€™t fully remember.โ€

Nobody answered.

Because they all suddenly understood the same thing.

There were gaps.

Tiny missing pieces scattered through all their memories of those years.

Things theyโ€™d never questioned before.


Luis rubbed his jaw slowly.

โ€œYou think maybe we got hit too hard too many times?โ€

โ€œConcussions?โ€

โ€œMaybe.โ€

But nobody believed that either.

Not fully.


Benji looked toward the stack of remaining tapes.

โ€œThereโ€™s still more.โ€

Nobody wanted to continue.

Nobody wanted to stop.


So they kept watching.


And as midnight settled deeper over western Nebraska, the old tapes revealed more impossible moments.

Extra players appearing in huddles.

Voices on audio tracks no one recognized.

Sideline conversations nobody remembered having.

And always the figure.

Watching.

Waiting.

Drawing closer year by year.


Until the final tape.

Their last season together.

The final game most of them ever played.


The footage began normally.

Cold night.

Small crowd.

End of an era none of them realized was ending at the time.


Then midway through the third quarter, the cameraman zoomed accidentally toward the far sideline.

And for the first time, the figureโ€™s face became visible.


Darren felt his stomach drop.

Because it wasnโ€™t a stranger.

Not exactly.

The face looked wrong somehow.

Blurry.

Unfinished.

Like several faces layered together.

But they recognized pieces.

A little of Travis Lind.

A little of Shane.

A little of Darren himself.

Fragments of all of them combined into something incomplete.


Luis whispered a prayer under his breath.


Then the figure looked directly into the camera.

And smiled.


The tape stopped.

Not ended.

Stopped.

The VCR clicked loudly.

Blue screen returned.


Nobody spoke.

Snow fell softly outside.

The heater rattled.

Somewhere far down Main Street, a train horn echoed through the dark Nebraska night.


Finally Darren stood.

Slowly.

His knees cracking.

His shoulders stiff with age and fear and memory.

โ€œWhat do we do with these?โ€

Nobody answered immediately.


Then Shane said quietly:

โ€œI think we remember.โ€


And somehow that felt more frightening than anything theyโ€™d seen on the tapes.

College Summer Road Trip in the Deep South

The summer I turned twenty, I decided I was tired of red dirt roads and wheat fields. Tired of calf roping on weekends and the same two cafรฉs in town swapping out the pie flavors like it was big news. Tired of being known by everyone before I even opened my mouth. So when finals ended at my small college in rural Oklahoma, I loaded my old Honda Civic with a cooler full of Dr Pepper, a duffel bag of clothes, and a Rand McNally atlas that still smelled like my dadโ€™s shop. I didnโ€™t have a plan beyond โ€œhead south.โ€ I figured if I got lost enough times, I might find something worth keeping.

The day I left, the morning heat had already started its slow chokehold on the plains. I rolled down the windows, let the wind slap me awake, and pointed the car toward Texas. The highway stretched out like a dare. I took it.

Four hours later, I crossed the bridge over the Sabine River into Louisiana. The air turned thicker, as if someone had soaked it in motor oil and humidity. By Shreveport, my shirt clung to me like a nervous kid. I wasnโ€™t used to air that pressed back.

South of town, I stopped for gas at a truck stop where the sign read โ€œBoudin & Biscuits.โ€ I bought both. The biscuit was dry, the boudin was perfect, and the woman behind the counter called me โ€œbabyโ€ without even looking up. It felt like a welcome.

My plan that day was to make it across Louisiana and into Mississippi by sundown, but the swamps had other ideas. The road dipped between cypress trees hung heavy with Spanish moss, the sky deepening into a purple bruise. I pulled off at a scenic overlookโ€”though it wasnโ€™t clear what was scenic about a stretch of murky water dotted with the occasional alligatorโ€”but I stood there anyway, listening to the chorus of insects warming up for their nighttime performance.

A pickup truck rolled in behind me, and two men climbed outโ€”thick accents, sunburned skin, baseball caps with fishing brands. One of them nodded at me.

โ€œYou lost, cher?โ€ he asked.

โ€œMaybe,โ€ I said. โ€œDepends what counts as lost.โ€

They laughed like I had told a joke. One of them pulled a couple beers from their cooler and offered me one without ceremony. I took it. The swamp hummed around us, thick and alive.

We talked about fishing and storms and how Oklahoma wasnโ€™t the same as Texas no matter how many tourists thought it was. They told me they were from down near Houma, Cajuns from generations back. They talked fast, half in English, half in a musical blend of French and something else entirely. I nodded when I could; mostly I listened.

โ€œYou gonโ€™ melt out here,โ€ the taller one said. โ€œYou stick around too long, the skeetersโ€™ll make a meal outta you.โ€

โ€œProbably already did,โ€ I said.

He grinned. โ€œThen you fit in just fine.โ€

I finished my beer, thanked them for the hospitality, and hit the road again as the last light died. The swamps breathed darkness. Somewhere far off, thunder grumbled like an old man shifting in a recliner.

By the time I crossed the Mississippi state line, the night was so heavy it felt like driving through ink. I rolled the dial on the radio, trying to find anything not static. A preacherโ€™s voice burst in, loud and urgent: โ€œAND THE FIRES OF JUDGMENT SHALL LICK AT THE HEELS OF THE WICKED!โ€ I kept it on for a while, partly because it kept me awake and partly because it felt right for a lonely drive over the Deltaโ€™s flatlands.

I reached the Delta proper just past midnight and decided I needed to stop before I fell asleep at the wheel. The first sign I saw was for a place called Eddie Maeโ€™s Juke Joint, a flickering neon sign on the side of a sagging building with a gravel lot and a porch crowded with people smoking. A hand-painted sign said: โ€œLive Blues Tonight.โ€ That was enough.

Inside, the air vibrated. A man on stage with a steel guitar was bending notes that sounded like the floor of the earth cracking open. His voice was a gravel road soaked in whiskey. People swayed, stomped, leaned over their beers like they were confessing sins to them.

I took a seat at the bar. The bartender was a woman in her fifties with hair piled high and gold hoops the size of bracelets. She poured me a cheap bourbon without being asked.

โ€œYou look like a boy who ainโ€™t seen a real juke joint before,โ€ she said.

โ€œAm I that obvious?โ€

โ€œBaby, you practically shining. Folks around here donโ€™t walk in smiling unless they lost.โ€

โ€œIs being lost a bad thing?โ€

She shrugged. โ€œDepends why.โ€

The man on stage slid into a slow, aching melody, something raw enough to make my throat tighten. The bartender sighed.

โ€œThat thereโ€™s Clarence โ€˜Catfishโ€™ Porter,โ€ she said. โ€œBeen playing longerโ€™n you been alive. Manโ€™s fingers talk better than most folksโ€™ mouths.โ€

I listened. She was right.

Two hours slipped by. Time didnโ€™t work the same in that place. It stretched and curled like smoke. When Catfish finished, the crowd hollered, and he nodded like it was his birthright.

I left with the sound of his guitar still buzzing in my ribs.

At 2 a.m., hungry and bone tired, I found the only place open for miles: a Waffle House glowing bright as a UFO in the Mississippi dark. I parked beside two pickup trucks and a sedan with stickers for every local church.

Inside, the cook and waitress were arguing about whether the Elvis impersonator who came in on Sundays was actually good or just enthusiastic.

I took a seat at the bar. Two older women sat at the booth nearest meโ€”both in floral dresses, both wearing church hats despite the hour. They had purses big enough to hide spellbooks in. They eyed me like theyโ€™d been expecting me.

โ€œYou traveling, sugar?โ€ one of them asked.

โ€œYeah,โ€ I said.

โ€œHeading where?โ€ the other asked.

โ€œNot sure yet.โ€

They exchanged a knowing look.

The first leaned in. โ€œEverybody who comes in here lost at this hour ends up exactly where they supposed to.โ€

I wasnโ€™t sure if that was comforting.

They told me they were โ€œMojo Ladies,โ€ which I assumed meant fortune tellers or something similar. They didnโ€™t explain. They didnโ€™t need to. One of them reached across the table, took my hand, and squeezed it.

โ€œYou carrying something heavy,โ€ she said. โ€œBut you ainโ€™t ready to set it down yet.โ€

โ€œI didnโ€™t say anything aboutโ€”โ€

โ€œYou ainโ€™t gotta. Itโ€™s in your eyes.โ€

The other nodded. โ€œWhatever you looking for, baby, you gonโ€™ find a piece of it in Georgia. Mark my words.โ€

The cook slid my waffle onto the counter. The Mojo Ladies sipped their black coffee like prophets in polyester. When they left, they pressed a peppermint into my hand like it was a talisman.

โ€œThisโ€™ll keep the road kind,โ€ one of them said.

I didnโ€™t believe them. But I kept the peppermint.

I slept a few hours in my car outside the Waffle House, waking to the sunrise stretching over endless fields. Mississippi bled into Alabama, and suddenly I was driving past cotton fields that rolled out like white oceans. The plants rustled in the wind, soft and restless.

I pulled over and walked to the edge of a field. The cotton was thick, fluffy, deceptively gentle-looking. Iโ€™d read enough history books to feel a weight in my chest staring at it. The past wasnโ€™t past here. It stuck to the air, to the ground, to the way the fields seemed too quiet.

I stood there a long time before driving on.

A few hours later, just outside Tuscaloosa, I stopped at a barbecue joint where a young trucker in a red Ole Miss cap sat next to me at the counter. He had a grin like heโ€™d been born laughing.

โ€œYou ainโ€™t from around here,โ€ he said.

โ€œNope,โ€ I said.

โ€œOklahoma? Arkansas? Iโ€™m guessing Oklahoma.โ€

I blinked. โ€œHowโ€™d youโ€”โ€

โ€œYou got that panhandle twang. I hear it all the time at the truck stops.โ€

We talked over pulled pork sandwiches. He told me heโ€™d been driving long hauls since he turned nineteen, and that fall Saturdays belonged to one thing only.

โ€œOle Miss football,โ€ he said. โ€œThatโ€™s church, brother.โ€

I said something about how Oklahoma folks felt the same way about the Sooners, and he waved me off.

โ€œYeah, but yโ€™all got actual expectations. We mostly got hope. Bothโ€™ll kill you, but hopeโ€™s slower.โ€

When we parted ways, he slapped my shoulder.

โ€œYou keep drivinโ€™ till something feels right,โ€ he said. โ€œThatโ€™s what my daddy always told me.โ€

I wasnโ€™t sure if it was good advice, but I wrote it down later anyway.

Georgia rose up with red clay shoulders and thick forests. By dusk I was deep in the rural stretches, following roads so empty I wondered if I was the last person alive. The radio crackled again with a preacher proclaiming the end times. I switched stations and found a conspiracy theorist rambling about UFOs above Atlanta and lizard people running Congress. I switched again and found another preacher, even louder. Mississippi stations traveled farther than they had any right to.

At one point, the sky lit up with silent lightning behind a cloud line. It looked like God taking photos of the earth.

I pulled into a clearing outside a small town whose name I never saw. A group of old men sat around a fire pit beside a weathered barn, laughing and passing around a mason jar. They waved me over like I was late.

โ€œYou look thirsty,โ€ the oldest one said. His beard was pure white except for a streak of brown under his lip from tobacco.

โ€œWhatโ€™s in the jar?โ€ I asked.

โ€œConfidence,โ€ another said.

It burned like the surface of the sun. I coughed so hard they laughed until they cried.

โ€œYou ainโ€™t from anywhere near here,โ€ the bearded one said.

โ€œOklahoma,โ€ I said.

โ€œThat far enough.โ€

We talked about fishing, baseball, the way the South had changed and not changed. They told stories of moonshining in the 70s, stories involving revenue agents and narrow escapes and more than one dog named Blue.

When I left, they slapped my back like a nephew going off to war.

โ€œAtlantaโ€™s that way,โ€ one said, pointing down the road. โ€œGet yourself a ball game. Braves are home this week.โ€

I hadnโ€™t planned on it. But maybe the road had.

I reached Atlanta the next afternoon. The skyline rose like a jagged promise. I parked near the stadium and bought a last-minute ticket from a guy holding a cardboard sign. It was overpriced. I didnโ€™t care.

Inside, the crowd buzzed with energy. The Braves were playing the Phillies, and the stadium lights made everything look sharper than real life. I found my seat between a father and his teenage son on one side and an elderly woman with a scorecard on the other.

As the game started, I felt something settle in me. Maybe it was the rhythm of the game, the crack of the bat, the rise and fall of the crowdโ€™s voices. Maybe it was the way the sunset painted the sky above the stadium in bands of orange and pink. Or maybe it was simply the feeling of having come from somewhere and gone somewhere else, collecting pieces of strangers along the way.

The father next to me cheered so loud he startled the kid. The elderly woman muttered about missed calls like she could curse an umpire into reason. The team hit a home run in the sixth inning, and the stadium roared. I roared with it.

For the first time in monthsโ€”maybe yearsโ€”I felt part of something bigger than myself, something moving, alive, full of possibility.

When the game ended and the crowd flowed out into the humid Georgia night, I walked slowly to my car. I didnโ€™t know where I was headed next. I didnโ€™t need to.

The road had been right so far. That was enough.

I dug into my pocket and found the peppermint the Mojo Lady had given me at the Waffle House. I unwrapped it, popped it into my mouth, and let it dissolve as I drove into the night, windows down, the city lights fading behind me.

Wherever I was going, the road would know before I did.

And I trusted it now.

March 9, 2026

First Monday after time change. It’s feeling more like late spring here in Oklahoma than late winter. Already had several thunderstorms and some tornadoes in this state.

I now transferred my permanent mailing address to my facility. I can get amazon delivery to the facility, at least as long as the front desk person signing for my packages actually does their job and brings it to me. I had a package delivered today that was supposedly signed for by a sectary early today. It still hasn’t made it to my room. All of the staff is acting clueless even though amazon clearly stated who signed for my delivery. I do hate it when people treat me like I’m stupid.

Haven’t been sleeping well at nights the last week or so. We have a dementia patient on our wing who screams all night, every night. Management has been made aware of the situation but still refuses to do anything about it. This is the second time I had to deal with a screaming dementia patient since early February.

I don’t have much planned for St. Patrick’s Day. I will wear green and I do have some alcohol free Guiness coming. I guess that’s about as crazy as I’m going to get this year.