Tag Archives: health

The Impact of Change: Christmas Musings on Life and Health

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I’m having a good Christmas season so far. Got to talk with some old friends over the phone for over an hour today. She found a new job a few weeks ago that pays more than any job she ever had. Her husband (also a friend of mine) is still working 60+ hours a week as a delivery driver. They think he will try to find something in academics soon now that they aren’t living paycheck to paycheck anymore.

Our conversation covered mostly history and geopolitics. I don’t have many friends I can talk about those things with anymore. Most of my friends are having tough times with mid life crisis kind of things. I miss those conversations about history and current events. It was like being back in college, if just for only one hour.

I sleep most of the daylight hours anymore. I think part of it is depression and part of it is anemia. I’m not looking forward to probably having to go back to a long term care facility. But my mobility isn’t coming back and my house isn’t handicap accessible. My parents aren’t in good health and probably have only a few years, at best, left. Part of me all three of us won’t make it to see 2030.

It really breaks my heart to be in decline just right as things are really changing science and tech wise. I am convinced that we as a society will make more scientific progress in the next 20 years than we made in the previous 300. That is, if the politicians and voters quit screwing up.

Reflections on My Recent Hospital Nightmare

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For the official record, I didn’t give up on my writing. I just took a much overdue vacation.

With that out of the way, I feel the need to update my appreciated readers on what I’ve been up to in the last several weeks since I last posted.

In early September, my parents had to call an ambulance on my behalf to take me to the hospital as I was having problems breathing. At first the doctors thought I had pneumonia, but even ten days of anti-biotics didn’t do anything other than screw up my stomach and bowel movements.

With the anti-biotics not working, one of the doctors had the gall to suggest that I might have early stages leukemia. This was in spite not having extremely elevated white blood cell counts or even so much as a fever.

In short, I spent ten days in the hospital on bedrest and the hospital didn’t even figure out what was wrong with me. I am now a believer in medical misdiagnoses being a very serious problem in modern medicine.

It turns out it was merely a virus infection in my lungs. I was also having problems with retaining water due to my congestive heart failure. My swelling took place mostly in my crotch and hips. The swelling was bad enough I couldn’t wear pants the whole time I was in the hospital.

I was put on diuretics, and I must have lost over one hundred pounds of fluids when I was in the hospital. Since I was on bedrest and having serious pain in my knees from my being forcefully taken off my three times a day Tylenol routine, I had to call a nurse every time I needed to urinate.

This annoyed some of the nurses. Sometimes they didn’t get to me in time, and I ended up peeing my hospital bed. Yeah, I’m a 44-year-old man talking about wetting the bed. Major blow to my pride and ego I tell you.

After my ten days in the hospital for my not pneumonia, I was sent to physical rehab for two weeks. My God in Heaven, that was an experience.

For starters, I wasn’t able to do much of rehab because my knees were hurting so bad I couldn’t even stand for more than ten seconds at a time. I was taken off my three times a day Tylenol regiment that had worked extremely well for almost two years while in the hospital.

Due to the forced bedrest, lack of a walker or a walking cane, I couldn’t walk the whole two weeks I was at physical rehab. After being back home for a couple of weeks, I can walk in my office with a walker. I still can’t walk well enough to get to the bathroom on my own. I feel so ashamed.

I feel like I spent three weeks in the hospital, most of it probably needlessly. I did get a new c-pap machine and got off a couple blood pressure meds.

I now take only two blood pressure meds and a couple meds for congestive heart failure. Half of the time my blood pressure is still too low, I’m talking like 110 over 55. But at least I’m not in the hospital anymore. September was a damn nightmare.

AI and Psychopharmacology

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The Current Challenges in Psychopharmacology

Developing new psychiatric medications involves several challenges. Traditional methods are time-consuming and expensive, often taking over a decade and billions of dollars to bring a new drug to market. The high failure rate in clinical trials further complicates the process, with many potential drugs failing due to inefficacy or adverse side effects. Additionally, the complex and heterogeneous nature of mental health disorders means that understanding the underlying biological mechanisms and identifying suitable drug targets are inherently difficult tasks.

AI’s Potential Contributions

Drug Discovery and Design

AI can significantly streamline the initial stages of drug discovery. Machine learning algorithms can analyze extensive datasets, including genetic information, biochemical pathways, and clinical trial results, to identify potential drug candidates. For instance, deep learning models can predict the binding affinity of small molecules to specific receptors in the brain, thus identifying promising compounds for further testing. By leveraging AI, researchers can quickly sift through vast chemical libraries and simulate interactions, significantly reducing the time and cost involved in traditional drug discovery methods.

Understanding Biological Mechanisms

Mental health disorders often involve complex interactions between genetic, environmental, and neurobiological factors. AI can help unravel these complexities by integrating and analyzing diverse datasets. For example, machine learning algorithms can analyze genomic, transcriptomic, and proteomic data to identify biomarkers associated with specific psychiatric conditions. This can lead to a better understanding of disease mechanisms and the identification of novel therapeutic targets. Additionally, AI can aid in the development of personalized medicine approaches, tailoring treatments based on an individual’s unique genetic and biological profile.

Predicting Treatment Response

One of the significant challenges in psychopharmacology is the variability in treatment response among patients. AI can address this issue by developing predictive models that identify which patients are likely to respond to a particular medication. These models can analyze data from electronic health records, including demographic information, clinical history, and genetic data, to predict treatment outcomes. Such personalized treatment strategies can improve efficacy, reduce trial-and-error prescribing, and minimize adverse effects, ultimately leading to better patient outcomes.

Optimizing Clinical Trials

AI can also revolutionize the clinical trial process by improving patient recruitment, optimizing study design, and enhancing data analysis. Machine learning algorithms can identify suitable candidates for clinical trials by analyzing electronic health records and other patient data, ensuring a more targeted and efficient recruitment process. Furthermore, AI can assist in designing adaptive clinical trials that modify parameters in real-time based on interim results, potentially speeding up the process and increasing the likelihood of success. AI-driven data analysis can also provide deeper insights into trial outcomes, identifying subtle patterns and correlations that might be missed by traditional statistical methods.

Case Studies and Examples

Several initiatives and studies already demonstrate the potential of AI in psychopharmacology. For instance, Insilico Medicine, a biotechnology company, uses AI-driven platforms to accelerate drug discovery and development. Their AI algorithms analyze vast amounts of biological data to identify novel drug candidates and predict their efficacy and safety. In one notable example, Insilico Medicine used AI to identify a new drug candidate for a chronic obstructive pulmonary disease in just 46 days, highlighting the potential for rapid drug discovery.

In the realm of mental health, AI has been used to analyze brain imaging data to identify biomarkers associated with depression and other psychiatric disorders. For example, researchers at Stanford University used machine learning algorithms to analyze functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) data, identifying brain activity patterns that predict treatment response to antidepressants. Such studies underscore the potential of AI to provide deeper insights into the neurobiological underpinnings of mental health disorders and guide the development of more effective treatments.

Ethical and Practical Considerations

While the potential of AI in psychopharmacology is immense, several ethical and practical considerations must be addressed. Data privacy and security

are paramount concerns, given the sensitive nature of medical and genetic information. Ensuring that patient data is anonymized and securely stored is essential to prevent misuse and maintain trust in AI-driven research.

Additionally, the algorithms and models developed using AI must be transparent and interpretable. Black-box models, where the decision-making process is not easily understood, can lead to skepticism and resistance from both clinicians and patients. Researchers and developers must prioritize the creation of explainable AI systems that provide clear rationale for their predictions and recommendations.

There is also the risk of bias in AI models. If the training data used to develop these models is not representative of the broader population, the resulting predictions and insights may be biased, potentially leading to disparities in treatment effectiveness across different demographic groups. Ensuring diversity and inclusivity in training datasets is crucial to mitigate this risk.

Future Directions and Opportunities

The next five years present numerous opportunities for AI to further transform psychopharmacology. As AI technologies continue to evolve, several promising directions could enhance their impact on mental health medication development.

Integration of Multimodal Data

Combining different types of data, such as genetic, epigenetic, proteomic, imaging, and clinical data, can provide a more comprehensive understanding of psychiatric disorders. AI can facilitate the integration and analysis of these multimodal datasets, uncovering complex interactions and identifying novel drug targets.

Collaborative Research Platforms

Creating collaborative platforms where researchers, clinicians, and AI experts can share data and insights can accelerate progress in psychopharmacology. Initiatives like the UK Biobank, which provides access to a vast repository of genetic and health data, can be leveraged by AI researchers to advance the development of new treatments. Collaborative efforts can also help standardize data collection and analysis methods, improving the reliability and reproducibility of AI-driven research.

AI-Driven Repurposing of Existing Drugs

Drug repurposing, where existing medications are used to treat new conditions, is an area where AI can make significant contributions. By analyzing existing data on approved drugs, AI algorithms can identify new therapeutic uses for these medications, potentially providing faster and more cost-effective treatment options for psychiatric disorders. This approach has already shown promise in identifying potential treatments for COVID-19 and other diseases.

Patient Monitoring and Real-Time Feedback

AI can also play a role in the ongoing monitoring of patients receiving psychiatric medications. Wearable devices and mobile health applications can collect real-time data on patients’ symptoms, medication adherence, and side effects. AI algorithms can analyze this data to provide clinicians with timely feedback, allowing for more dynamic and personalized treatment adjustments. This continuous monitoring can enhance the effectiveness of treatments and improve patient outcomes.

Conclusion

The potential for AI to revolutionize the development of new psychiatric medications within the next five years is substantial. By accelerating drug discovery, improving our understanding of biological mechanisms, predicting treatment responses, and optimizing clinical trials, AI offers a powerful toolset for addressing the complex challenges in psychopharmacology.

However, realizing this potential requires careful consideration of ethical and practical challenges, including data privacy, model transparency, and bias mitigation. By fostering collaborative research efforts and integrating diverse datasets, the field can harness the full power of AI to develop more effective and personalized treatments for mental health disorders.

As AI continues to advance, its role in psychopharmacology is likely to expand, offering hope for more rapid and effective solutions to some of the most pressing mental health challenges. The next five years may indeed see significant breakthroughs, driven by the synergy of AI and psychopharmacology, ultimately improving the lives of millions of individuals suffering from psychiatric disorders.

Possible Uses for AI and Mental Illness Treatments

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Artificial Intelligence (AI) is revolutionizing numerous fields, and mental health care is no exception. The application of AI in mental health treatment is an emerging frontier that holds promise for significantly enhancing the way mental illnesses are diagnosed, treated, and managed. AI-driven approaches offer innovative solutions that can lead to personalized, efficient, and accessible mental health care. This essay explores the potential treatments for mental illness made possible by AI research, focusing on diagnostic tools, personalized treatment plans, therapeutic interventions, and ongoing monitoring and support.

Diagnostic Tools

One of the most promising applications of AI in mental health is in the realm of diagnosis. Traditionally, diagnosing mental illnesses relies heavily on subjective assessments and self-reported symptoms, which can be influenced by various biases and may not always be accurate. AI can enhance diagnostic accuracy by analyzing vast amounts of data from various sources, including electronic health records, genetic information, and even social media activity.

Machine learning algorithms can identify patterns and correlations that may not be evident to human clinicians. For example, AI can analyze speech patterns, facial expressions, and other behavioral indicators to detect signs of depression, anxiety, or other mental health conditions. Natural language processing (NLP) techniques can be used to assess the content and sentiment of patients’ spoken or written communication, providing additional insights into their mental state. These AI-driven diagnostic tools can serve as early warning systems, flagging potential issues before they become severe and facilitating timely intervention.

Personalized Treatment Plans

AI has the potential to revolutionize the development of personalized treatment plans for individuals with mental health conditions. By leveraging data from diverse sources, including patient history, genetic information, and real-time monitoring data, AI can help tailor treatments to the specific needs and characteristics of each patient.

Machine learning models can predict how patients might respond to different treatments based on their unique profiles. This can include pharmacological treatments, such as selecting the most effective medication with the fewest side effects, as well as non-pharmacological interventions like cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) or mindfulness practices. AI can also optimize treatment plans by continuously learning from patient outcomes and adjusting recommendations accordingly. This dynamic, data-driven approach can enhance the efficacy of treatments and reduce the trial-and-error process often associated with mental health care.

Therapeutic Interventions

AI-driven therapeutic interventions are another exciting development in the treatment of mental illnesses. Chatbots and virtual therapists, powered by AI, can provide immediate support and therapeutic guidance to individuals in need. These AI-based systems can engage in conversations with patients, offering cognitive-behavioral therapy techniques, stress reduction strategies, and other therapeutic interventions.

For instance, AI chatbots like Woebot and Wysa use NLP to interact with users, providing them with evidence-based techniques to manage symptoms of depression and anxiety. These tools can be especially beneficial for individuals who may not have easy access to traditional therapy due to geographic, financial, or time constraints. While AI-driven interventions are not a replacement for human therapists, they can serve as a valuable supplement, providing support between sessions and reaching underserved populations.

Ongoing Monitoring and Support

AI can also play a crucial role in the ongoing monitoring and support of individuals with mental health conditions. Wearable devices and mobile applications equipped with AI algorithms can continuously track physiological and behavioral data, such as sleep patterns, physical activity, heart rate, and social interactions. By analyzing this data, AI can detect early signs of relapse or deterioration in mental health and alert patients and their caregivers to take proactive measures.

Moreover, AI can facilitate continuous communication between patients and healthcare providers. For example, digital platforms can enable patients to log their symptoms, medication adherence, and mood changes, providing clinicians with real-time data to make informed decisions about treatment adjustments. This continuous feedback loop can enhance patient engagement, improve treatment adherence, and ultimately lead to better mental health outcomes.

Ethical and Practical Considerations

While the potential of AI in mental health care is immense, it is essential to address ethical and practical considerations. Privacy and data security are paramount, given the sensitive nature of mental health information. Ensuring that AI systems are transparent, explainable, and free from biases is also crucial to maintain trust and efficacy.

Furthermore, the integration of AI into mental health care should be done in a way that complements, rather than replaces, human clinicians. The human touch remains indispensable in providing empathy, understanding, and personalized care that AI cannot fully replicate.

Conclusion

AI research holds the promise of transforming the treatment of mental illnesses, offering innovative solutions for diagnosis, personalized treatment, therapeutic interventions, and ongoing monitoring. By harnessing the power of AI, mental health care can become more accurate, efficient, and accessible, ultimately improving the lives of individuals struggling with mental health conditions. However, careful consideration of ethical and practical issues is necessary to ensure that these advancements are implemented in a responsible and beneficial manner. As AI continues to evolve, it will be exciting to see how it can further contribute to the field of mental health, providing hope and healing to millions around the world.

Updates, March 1, 2024

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Here in Oklahoma, it’s starting to look and feel like spring. Spring is probably my favorite season. Ironically, I usually hate summers. I never did well in the heat, at least when I can’t be under a fan or an AC. I’m more heat sensitive than most people. It’s one of the reasons I didn’t commit to move to Oklahoma until a year ago.

Mentally, I’m still very stable. I think it helps that I avoid stressful people and overstimulating as much as possible. I don’t even like driving or people knocking on my office door. I haven’t owned a car for almost five years now. And I feel far less stress because of it. To hell with being forced to own a car. Pity grocery delivery wasn’t a thing ten years sooner.

Physically I’m doing much better. The only times I have bad joint pain are if I sit for several hours, sleep too long, or the weather is really changing. I still take the turmeric for my joints. Take hemp oil too. Still slowly rebuilding my heart strength.

My writings here on Medium are doing alright. Good enough to keep me some good side hustle money. But not good enough to get me kicked off social security disability. It’s a pity that universal health care will probably never be a thing here in the US.

My water retention swelling has gone down a lot. Granted it took two months on lasix, but that did the trick. I retain fluids sometimes due to my congestive heart failure. So I have to limit how much water I drink every day.

I’m also eating less. The last two times I ordered a pizza, I was able to get three meals out of it. Usually get only two. I just don’t need to eat as much anymore. Overeating actually is painful to me now.

Don’t know if I’m losing weight, but I know my clothes fit a lot better than they did six months ago. I gained some weight in the first few months here in Oklahoma. After that, I changed my diet.

Found out I tend to eat more when I am cooking for myself. If someone else cooks, I almost never ask for seconds. It may seem odd for a man who’s been on his own for over 18 years as a bachelor to defer cooking duties to his parents. But I do eat less, and my clothes fit better since I changed my habits.

Now that winter is almost over, I’m finding I have strong desires to socialize more. I spent much of the winter indoors, writing, reading, researching, doing my hobbies, etc. Now I’m ready to reconnect in person.

My investment picks are doing well. I might have to sell some off soon so as to not draw the ire of social security disability. They get kind of mad when people on disability have any real kind of savings. Really sucks that I find something I’m good at and then can’t really make a living off it because, well, the cost of insurance and meds. And I refuse to get married, not that I ever was marriage material in the first damn place. Aye, so much hate.

Been following develops in AI and automation for over ten years. Been following it real close for the last two years from when I first heard of ChatGPT. I don’t think most people realize just how good AI and automation is getting. And almost no one has any real clue how good it’s going to get. This is even before Quantum Computing becomes readily available. I’m convinced Quantum Computing will be as big as AI is now within 10 years, probably sooner.

In spite of all the doom porn and sky is falling type bullshit flying around out there, I’m glad to be alive and relatively young at our current point in history. As rapid as things have changed in the last 25 years, the next 10 years will see even more change. I feel privileged to have survived congestive heart failure to see it.

I didn’t give up during heart failure even though for a while I was in so much pain I couldn’t even get out of a hospital bed on my own. They literally had to use a lift to get me from the bed to the wheelchair for the first two weeks of my treatment. But I survived.

I didn’t want to die that way. Had too much I wanted to see before I finally do shuffle off into the Great Unknown that is death. That was two years ago this May. I like what I’ve seen just in these two years. I guess it’s all material for writing at this point.

Making Rapid Progress On Physical Health and Answered Prayers

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I am now down 70 pounds overall in the last six months. I’m not even 10 pounds away from losing all the weight I gained after my car accident back in 2015. I am currently wearing a dress shirt I wore to my grandma’s funeral seven years ago. I can also now stand in place for several minutes at a time. I ordered an electric razor so I can shave my own face. It should be here by next week. My blood pressure has been holding normal for weeks now. I am currently on four meds for my heart and blood pressure. I used to be on six. I think as I keep losing weight I may be able to drop a blood pressure med or two. Heck I might even be able to reduce my dose of psych meds if the weight keeps melting off. Overall since covid started, I’m down almost 150 pounds.

Originally my goal was to get back at my old 2012 weight. 2012 is the last time I held a regular job and I could walk easily. Now I am aiming lower, so to speak. My goal now is to get back to my old college weight. It’s going to take at least another year, but time is on my side now that my blood pressure issues are being addressed. It also helps that effective vaccines and treatments for covid are now things. One of the reasons I avoided doctors and most people was that I was afraid of catching covid if I went to the doctors’ office for my blood pressure. I know most people’s attitudes towards masks and distancing in my hometown: not good at all. So I pretty much treated covid as drastic as I would being at war. As I result I lost 150 pounds, never caught covid, found out I could function with delivery groceries and Amazon, reread Wealth of Nations (the Bible of capitalism), kept in contact with family every day, built up a decent amount of emergency money (not enough to get me in trouble with disability), and even got to blog more. I also discovered the joys of Zoom calls.

I can now walk short distances even without a walker. My wheelchair has been on back order for almost three months. Wouldn’t it be ironic if by the time my wheelchair got delivered I didn’t even need it anymore?

My goal is to still get out on my own eventually. I think at the rate my physical health is improving I can be back at my old college weight within a year or two. Sheesh, even in two years I could be below my old high school weight. The protocol my doctor set up for my diet and therapy is working. Oh my goodness is it working. I just hope nothing throws a wrench in my plans. Things have been working so magically well for the last few months that I can’t even believe it. I have been used to things not working according to plan for many years. Maybe God is answering prayers.

Nostalgia and Regrets, Or Lack Of

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One of my best friends from college died from cancer a few days ago. She was only a couple years older than I and had two teenage kids. I used to play trivia games all the time and she was one of the few who could actually beat me on our campus. After a couple years, she was the only one who would even play against me. Even though I hadn’t seen her in several years, I will always miss her. Easy socializing with people of similar interests is one of the things I miss about not being young anymore.

I’ve been thinking back on my younger years more than usual lately. I’m normally not nostalgic as I think nostalgia glosses over the bad parts of our past, overlooks what is going on that is good today, and leaves no vision for the future. Maybe it’s the time of year when school is back in session and my hometown, home to a small state university of about 8,000 students, comes back to life. Maybe it’s that after over a year and a half of pandemic and the end of two decades of war in the Middle East (at least for my country), I have found myself reflecting on how we got to the point in August 2021 were we currently reside.

The older I’ve gotten, the more I understand why so many people are nostalgic. I mean, who wouldn’t want to have the health they had in their late teens coupled with the knowledge they have in their elder years? But, health is wasted on the young and inexperienced and wisdom and wealth are wasted on the elderly, frail, and cynical. I just hope I never find myself complaining about the younger generations and fantasizing about a past that never existed anywhere outside of my own mind.

I do have a few regrets about my younger years. Most of them are minor, but the big one I have is that I didn’t do more to care for my physical health while I was fighting my mental illness in my twenties. I don’t regret the road trips, the books read, the college degree earned, the dead end jobs abandoned, the toxic people I gave up on, the failed romances, not having gotten married, not having kids, the activities participated in, etc. I certainly don’t regret having survived to middle age with a serious mental illness. I don’t regret trying to make something good out of a bad situation. I don’t regret being involved in many activities in high school and college. I don’t regret the friends I’ve kept over the decades. I don’t regret staying on good terms with most of my family even if we don’t chat very often. I don’t regret the women I’ve asked out on dates in high school and college even if I got rejected by all but a few of them. I don’t regret going a year and a half into a worldwide pandemic without getting sick and spending most of my time isolated. I don’t even regret selling my car and giving up driving. I always thought driving was overrated anyway. The only reason I learned to drive is that my country has had garbage for public transit my entire life.

I don’t regret not socializing with toxic people. I don’t regret cutting rude people out of my life. I don’t regret giving up on my minimum wage career. I don’t regret not letting other people determine what I think of myself. I don’t regret having unpopular opinions. And I certainly don’t regret spotting trends years before most people I know. I guess I’m not as nostalgic as most people my age and older because I have fewer regrets. Sure it meant lots of heat aches, humiliation, failed jobs, being betrayed, and knowing I’ll never be prestigious, rich, or even a respected member of my community. But it was worth it to become the man I am today.

Things I Wish I Knew At Age 18

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I’m going to be celebrating my 41st birthday next week. A lot has changed over just the course of my life. The fact that I can send out my random rants into something called The Internet and have them available to anyone who has what is essentially a pocket sized super computer that happens to make phone calls is still mind boggling. The subject of this post is the things I wish I knew about life when I was 18 rather than having to learn them through hard experience. So here goes

Things I Wish I Knew At Age 18

In many ways, work is easier than school. At least with work, you get paid for your trouble. And you don’t have to deal with the completely random assortment of jerks, losers, morons, and bullies that you are assigned to just because of your age and where you live. At work, most people are there because they have skills the job demands. And, no, you aren’t expected to make friends at work.

You don’t have to get married and have children to have a fulfilling life. You don’t even have to have a successful career to be fulfilled.

It’s probably best if you don’t get all of your fulfillment from your job. The most interesting people I’ve ever known hate their jobs but made up for it with their hobbies, church groups, community activities, etc.

It isn’t necessary to have a high paying job to make lots of money, especially if you are smart about things like debts and investing. Lots of people make six figures yet are only a missed paycheck away from being behind in their lease or rent. Some of the richest people I ever knew never owned expensive houses, took vacations to foreign countries, or drove anything more luxurious than a new Dodge Ram pickup truck.

Take care of your joints, especially your knees. You’ll miss those when they go bad.

Routine maintenance on EVERYTHING. It doesn’t matter if it’s your house, your car, your physical and mental health, your friendships, your marriage, etc. It will allow you to correct minor problems before they become major crises.

You can tell the truth all the time and some people will still think you’re a liar.

Many people stopped developing mentally and emotionally as teenagers. In fact, I know many adults who have worse morals and make worse decisions then teenagers and college students.

Elders will always complain about the “damn kids.” The only way to avoid doing this when you become an elder yourself is to consciously fight against it on a daily basis. The same people complaining about Billie Eilish and Ariana Grande where the same people rocking out to Rage Against The Machine and Marilyn Manson back in the 90s.

If you want to find out what someone is really like, give them power and money.

Some people will always fight against change. They are usually only delaying the inevitable.

Some people will never be pleased.

Some of your worst critics will be family members, friends, and neighbors.

The only real constant in life is change.

Finding Happiness in 2020

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Even though I don’t socialize much in person anymore, I try my best to stay connected to family and friends. Talked with my parents over FaceTime this morning. My dad had a check up on his heart and he does not need stints or surgery. He is joining a neighborhood gym as he wants to get more active again. I started lifting weights again on a regular basis last week. Even after a few sessions I can feel the strength and endurance starting to return.

In bad news, two of my friends in Omaha tested positive for covid. They are under quarantine for the next two weeks. They aren’t able to work and they sleep most of the time. One friend is a delivery man so he obviously can’t be going anywhere until this clears. Fortunately they seem to be doing better now than a few days ago. I imagine eventually I’ll catch this too. I just hope it’s mild. Even though I’m only 40, I am overweight and mentally ill.

Got some groceries coming this morning. I’m rebuilding my winter supplies. The leaves are starting to change in my hometown. I usually have my windows open during the day but run the furnace at night as it’s starting to get chilly after dark.

I’ve been forcing myself out of my apartment a couple times a day for almost a week now. Sometimes it is as simple as just standing in the hallway for a few minutes. Sometimes I’ll even set up a chair in my doorway so I can sit and try to chat with whomever shows up.

I nap more during the days. I am usually my most active in late mornings and overnights these days. My sleep patterns can change with the seasons and they change if my illness changes too. Haven’t had any serious breakdowns for a few weeks. I still have minor flare ups at least once or twice per day. They don’t usually last long. I have gotten to where I can just let them pass and not feel bad they happen.

I have a couple packages from amazon coming this afternoon. I imagine kids growing up today look forward to the amazon delivery man as much as I did going to the mall when I was growing up.

Changed the parts on my cpap machine yesterday. Slept really well last night. I try to change out the parts a few times a year just to keep the machine properly working.

I don’t have much else planned for the rest of the week. My cleaning lady arrives on Thursday afternoon. I like her. She engages me in conversation while she works. I usually just stay sat down and out of her way while she cleans. I supply the cleaning agents and she does the rest. And she at least tolerates my eccentric sense of humor 🙂

Transition from Summer to Fall

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It’s the first day of September and I’m looking forward to cooler weather, getting to wear sweatshirts, the changing of the leaves, corn harvest, and all the other trappings of fall. While I am disappointed that my Nebraska Huskers’ fall sports season is cancelled due to coronavirus, I understand why. I just hope we can mass produce a vaccine and that enough people can safely use it soon. I am concerned about the flu season being extra rough with coronavirus going around at the same time. It’s one of the reasons I volunteer to stay home. One of my relatives said to the effect our grandparents were asked to fight wars halfway across the world, we are asked to stay home as much as possible and practice social distancing. This isn’t the first pandemic we have dealt with. Won’t be the last either. I hope we learn from this one and manage the next one better.

Besides a short lived breakdown a couple weeks ago, I am doing alright. I’m not needing as much sleep anymore. I wake up with fewer aches and pains, and even those are more manageable. I see my psych doctor by teleconference again in a month. I haven’t had to have a change in my meds for over a year. I also think I’m losing weight.

I talk to my parents on an almost daily basis. They are doing alright. They don’t go out much besides running errands and visiting my brother’s family. My nephews and niece started school again a couple weeks ago. They seem to be doing alright considering everything. My brother and his wife work from home part of the time.

I have been lazy about reading for a couple weeks. I’ll probably pick that up again soon. I haven’t been watching the news lately. Too depressing these days. I want to know what’s going right, not everything that is going wrong. The information on what is going well is out there, you got to look for it though.