Finding Wheelchair Accessible Housing: My Journey

I might be moving within the next few weeks or so. It’s tough to tell. My doctors and caseworkers agree with me that I need to be in a place that’s wheelchair accessible. My parents house sadly isn’t friendly to wheelchairs. The doors are too narrow, no sidewalk, and the driveway is too steep.

My doctors and caseworkers have already recommended me to a place about an hour drive from my parents’ house. I would still be in Oklahoma, but no longer in the Oklahoma City metro area. Right now, the only thing that hasn’t gone through is corporate approval at the facility.

Been fighting to get into a wheelchair accessible facility for months. It’s pretty obvious I can’t live on my own. My parents are elderly, slowing down a lot, and sometimes forgetful. It would be a burden off them if I did get into this new place.

Corporate is still the hangup. Previous places have denied me because of my age, my weight, my mental illness, etc. Even though I know I need to be in a care facility, if for no other reason than my lack of mobility, I dread losing my financial freedom.

Long term care facilities are expensive. They have already said they would take over 90 percent of my disability pension to cover expenses. That’s the way it was when I lived in a long term care back in Nebraska a few years ago.

My parents supposedly can’t afford a handicap acessible house. Even if they could, I couldn’t afford even the property taxes and ultilities on such a house. I make slightly less than 1000 a month from disability pension. Really pisses me off that so little help is available.

I’m not senile. I’m not forgetful. I take my meds on my own every day. I don’t need a nursing home because I am senile. I need it because I have no mobility. I can transfer from a wheelchair to a recliner and to a bed. But my current living arrangement isn’t set up for wheelchairs. And my parents supposedly can’t afford to widen all the doors in the house for me to do much of anything in my house. Hell, I haven’t even been outdoors in five months.

I’m frustrated by the lack of help and communication. I’m not damn senile. I’m wheelchair bound. Most places are not conducive to wheelchairs, certainly not wide ones like mine. And yet I will probably end up going to a long term care facility and treated like I’m brain dead because I am wheelchair bound. Burns my ass.

The Future of Home Care: Robots and Independence

My caseworker and my parents are trying to get me into a long-term care facility. I really don’t want to go back to one of those. I despise the idea of losing my freedom and finances. I just as well be sent to prison as far as I’m concerned.

I live in a house with no stairs. But the doors aren’t wide enough for a wheelchair. Any suggestions I make to widen the doors fall on deaf ears. It burns me that I still have all of my intelligence but might still have to go to a long-term care facility because of lack of handicap access.

I would like to get a home health aide that comes in once a day to help with things. I had to fire my cleaning lady a few months because she wanted me to sign off on her billing her company for time she didn’t work. Can you say disability fraud? Glad I got rid of her.

I watch a lot of videos and news programs talking about the possibility of humanoid robot assistants becoming available to the public within a few years. Yet about the only people who don’t think I’m totally full of crap when I talk about this are some friends online and my older brother.

My thinking is that I hold on for a few more years and get a home health robot to help around the house since none seem to be available for me. Hell, it took a miracle for me to get onto a service where a doctor comes to see me in my house every six weeks. We found out about this, not through my case workers, but from a friend in my mom’s church.

I’m afraid that I will get sent off to a nursing home due to lack of mobility, lose my freedom, lose my money, and lose the family house just right before EVERYTHING changes with home robots, automation, AI, improved personalized healthcare, and possibly even Medicare for All.

One thing I despise about being on disability is that my earnings are limited before I’m totally thrown out of the system. And since the USA refuses to act like a civilized nation and institute Universal Healthcare, I’m stuck in poverty just so I can get my treatments. And I’m damn sick of it.

I lived in a long-term care facility once for eight months. Hated damn near every second of it. Had no freedom. Had no privacy. I was chastised for not socializing with the other residents even though most were senile and or nearly deaf. The only thing worse would have being in prison.

I don’t really tell my parents how much I despise the idea of going to a home. In the first damn place, I don’t think I would need one if the house was more wheelchair accessible. But they won’t entertain the thoughts of making the house more wheelchair accessible. All they would have to do is widen the doors to my bedroom, the bathroom, the front door, and the back door.

As far as transportation goes, that is being solved already in spite of the run around I get from social services. My brother bought a Tesla with self-driving capabilities back in the spring. Just the other day he and my niece had to go to Kansas City (which is about six hours from our town). During the trip up and trip back, the car did over 98 percent of the driving on autopilot. I was calling this almost ten years ago. Now it’s pretty well mainstream.

I had a car accident in late 2015 that really screwed up my back and knees. I was talking about how nice self-driving cars would be when they become available. I remember one of my Facebook “friends” said, and I quote, “It will be a cold day in Hell before self-driving becomes a thing.” That was less than 10 years ago. Bust out the parka and long johns, because it’s getting awful damn chilly these days.

I’m seeing the same attitude towards robotics that I saw against driverless cars about 7 to 9 years ago. I have given up on trying to convince people that humanoid robot assistants will be a bigger game changer than even smart phones, military drones, or even the internet itself. Most people don’t want to listen, let alone people of my parents’ generation.

Once during the pandemic, I joked in one of my futurists’ groups on Facebook about having a goal of riding in a self-driving electric car with a robot friend, smoking a marijuana cigar, while driving past a police station before June 14, 2030 (my 50th birthday). If I can hold out for long enough to get a home help robot and I don’t get sent to a home before then, I’m going to make that dream come true, so help me God.

Even if my parents go get too impatient and send me to a nursing home before I can make my dream of robot assisted independence come true, I’m going to do everything within my power to get well enough that I can leave. If my parents don’t want to make our house wheelchair accessible, well that’s their hangups. Sucks to be elderly and not see the possibilities that probably will come by the end of the decade.

Hell, I want them to fight me on this. I want people to tell me what can and can’t be done/ I want people to throw up roadblocks. I want to be told I’m a liar and I’m full of shit. I have made an entire life of coming back from setbacks and proving people wrong. Their hatred and nay saying will just make my story telling even more interesting than it already is.

After surviving 25 years of schizophrenia, 16 years of Section 8 Housing, 3 years of congestive heart failure and being wheelchair bound, I’ve lost most of my fears. I don’t want things to be fair or easy for me. Life isn’t fair. I figured that out when that I was six years old. I figured out that life isn’t fair before I figured out Santa Claus was fake. I’ve been fighting my entire life. Why should the next few years before some major breakthroughs be any different? I have nowhere to go but up. And I’ll be damned to let even family stand in the way of my freedom and independence.

Reflections on My Recent Hospital Nightmare

For the official record, I didn’t give up on my writing. I just took a much overdue vacation.

With that out of the way, I feel the need to update my appreciated readers on what I’ve been up to in the last several weeks since I last posted.

In early September, my parents had to call an ambulance on my behalf to take me to the hospital as I was having problems breathing. At first the doctors thought I had pneumonia, but even ten days of anti-biotics didn’t do anything other than screw up my stomach and bowel movements.

With the anti-biotics not working, one of the doctors had the gall to suggest that I might have early stages leukemia. This was in spite not having extremely elevated white blood cell counts or even so much as a fever.

In short, I spent ten days in the hospital on bedrest and the hospital didn’t even figure out what was wrong with me. I am now a believer in medical misdiagnoses being a very serious problem in modern medicine.

It turns out it was merely a virus infection in my lungs. I was also having problems with retaining water due to my congestive heart failure. My swelling took place mostly in my crotch and hips. The swelling was bad enough I couldn’t wear pants the whole time I was in the hospital.

I was put on diuretics, and I must have lost over one hundred pounds of fluids when I was in the hospital. Since I was on bedrest and having serious pain in my knees from my being forcefully taken off my three times a day Tylenol routine, I had to call a nurse every time I needed to urinate.

This annoyed some of the nurses. Sometimes they didn’t get to me in time, and I ended up peeing my hospital bed. Yeah, I’m a 44-year-old man talking about wetting the bed. Major blow to my pride and ego I tell you.

After my ten days in the hospital for my not pneumonia, I was sent to physical rehab for two weeks. My God in Heaven, that was an experience.

For starters, I wasn’t able to do much of rehab because my knees were hurting so bad I couldn’t even stand for more than ten seconds at a time. I was taken off my three times a day Tylenol regiment that had worked extremely well for almost two years while in the hospital.

Due to the forced bedrest, lack of a walker or a walking cane, I couldn’t walk the whole two weeks I was at physical rehab. After being back home for a couple of weeks, I can walk in my office with a walker. I still can’t walk well enough to get to the bathroom on my own. I feel so ashamed.

I feel like I spent three weeks in the hospital, most of it probably needlessly. I did get a new c-pap machine and got off a couple blood pressure meds.

I now take only two blood pressure meds and a couple meds for congestive heart failure. Half of the time my blood pressure is still too low, I’m talking like 110 over 55. But at least I’m not in the hospital anymore. September was a damn nightmare.

Looking Forward to Autumn, Friends and their Mid Life Crises, Dealing with Extreme Weather, and Refusing To Tolerate Stupid and Rude People Anymore

Saw my general practitioner a few days ago. My blood pressure is stable and good. Everything else seems to be going alright. School started here in Oklahoma City last week. My parents will probably be going to school activities again once the weather cools down. With as hot as it’s been the last several days, it’s hard to believe that autumn is only a few weeks away. First college football games start next week. I guess I’ve lost interest in most sports besides the Olympics and World Cup. My interests have changed as I aged.

Haven’t had much contact with most of my friends all summer. Seems like most of them are going through midlife crises and are very angry and upset all the time. I’m grateful I went through my worst trials in my twenties. I don’t think I could start over at this point in my life, certainly not while fighting schizophrenia and heart failure. I still get depressed and despondent a few times per week. I definitely don’t like socializing in person. Most people are too obnoxious, rude, and angry anymore. My parents went to visit my brother and his family a few days ago. I made the point of not going to see them. I just hate socializing with people who refuse to back down and try to make everything a battle. I have enough inner battles of my own.

My best friend is suffering really bad right now. She’s always depressed and irritated. Has been for a couple of years. But this is worse than normal. I reach out to her when she goes on about no one reaching out, but she goes almost silent when I do try to get her to open up. It’s depressing to watch my friend of 30 years on the downward spiral. I try to tell her family that this isn’t normal. Naturally, no one is listening. It has always angered me when people ignore obvious facts. I never understood the line of thinking that a problem will go away if it’s ignored long enough. I swear, no one learns from the mistakes of the past or even their own. It’s really aggravating. It’s like some people want to self-destruct.

I sleep a lot in the afternoons lately. Helps me to avoid the worst of this summer heat wave. We knew climate change was coming for decades. We didn’t do enough to prevent it, let alone adapt to it. I am encouraged that renewables and next generation nuclear is being rapidly adopted. It still angers me that my nation pulled out of the Paris Climate Accord.

It also angers me that many of my countrymen (including most of my family) actively fight against the rebuilding and reinforcing of our nation’s infrastructure. I get that maintaining water systems, power plants, and highways aren’t as sexy as spending taxpayer money on defense and advanced research, but seriously, who doesn’t need clean running water or highway bridges that won’t collapse. We in the US have known our roads, railways, power grids, etc. weren’t keeping up with demand for many years. Only now are we truly addressing it. We’re also starting to bring back much of our manufacturing (granted it’s primarily done by machines). Interest rates are finally going back up, which they were artificially low for at least 20 years. I heard people complain about low interest rates. And now those same people are complaining about rates going up. Make up your minds already.

This level of insanity and cognitive dissonance are two big reasons I refuse to attend social functions anymore. It’s absolutely painful to listen to people howl on about things they know nothing about. I know nothing about quantum physics or marathon running, but I won’t comment on either one. Neurotypical people are absolutely frustrating. They aren’t even worth the trouble anymore, at least not as far as I can tell.

It’s one of the reasons I’m actually kind of glad a new place hasn’t opened up for me. At least here in the suburbs I don’t have to socialize if I don’t want to. At least I have some privacy, even if I do live in my mom’s guest room. Yes, I am a 43-year-old schizophrenic man living with his mom and dad. Never mind that I lived on my own with this diagnosis for over 18 years. I should be ashamed to live with my parents because so many people tell me I should be. But I’m not. Most people have zero clue with mental illness means. It’s one of those things no one will understand until it affects them personally or someone they care about. But cases of mental health problems are increasing. And they will continue to increase until we stop shaming people for the so-called weakness. I am glad that mental illness is easier to talk about publicly now than 20 years ago. I just hope the younger people struggling with mental health problems don’t have to suffer alone like I did in my teens and twenties. It is not weak to talk about problems. Never has been.

In some ways I’m not really looking forward to moving out on my own again. It’s actually nice to have some help around the house now that my mobility is gone. Not having easy access to interpersonal assistance is the biggest regret I have about not getting married. Yet, the mental illness would probably have made me impossible to live with. That, and I think people give up on marriages, friendships, employees, jobs, etc. too easily anymore. I just didn’t trust anyone enough to believe they wouldn’t abandon me when things got bad. I never will trust anyone enough to believe they won’t abandon me when things get tough. Everything is conditional and negotiable as far as I’ve seen. That’s pretty much the story of civilization. Nothing lasts forever. Sadly, neither do friendships and marriages. And I certainly don’t trust my neighbors anymore. I’m really not looking forward to returning to public life.

If I had my way, I’d just stay in my parents’ house and take over after they die. I know social security disability will allow disabled people to own their own house. But I’m not sure I could afford the property taxes in the suburbs. There are lots of Uber drivers and public transit available even in the suburbs. My brother and his family probably aren’t moving, barring anything major. Electricity is quite cheap down here, probably be even more so if we got solar panels and backup batteries installed on the house. Some of my neighbors have those. Every time I go out on the town, I see at least one Tesla. It feels good to finally live somewhere that seems to actually want to be part of the 21st century. I’m loving it. Wished I would have moved here years ago.

The Idea of the Renaissance Man and Woman and Thinking About Trying To Return To Find A Work From Home Job With Mental Illness

I’m up real late most nights. I usually sleep until late morning. Seem to do my best work in the overnight hours. It’s really hot during the days here. Still adjusting as it’s my first summer in Oklahoma. I hear from old friends almost daily, entirely over the phone and through social media. An old friend of mine is taking a break from social media for her mental health. I miss her. She’s one of the few people I ever met who had as wide a variety of interests as I do.

Since I have a wide variety of interests, it’s almost impossible to find people who have all the same interests. I guess that’s why I tend to compartmentalize my friendships. I have friends interested in history and economics, but not science and tech. I have friends interested in theology and literature, but not economics and geopolitics. I have friends interested in science and futurism, but not theology and philosophy. I’m interested in all these things. About the only things I struggle with are advanced mathematics, foreign languages, and do it yourself home improvements. I guess my goal is to be as close to a Renaissance Man as is possible in the early 21st century.

I have lots of interests. Always have. It’s why I have to have lots of friends for brainstorming. It’s odd that I have lots of friends now in my 40s when I was thought to be anti social when I was a child. I love people, especially a wide variety of people. I grew up in a town of less than 500 people, mostly in the pre internet age. I used to love the old Yahoo chatrooms. I still remember some of those conversations I had in my late teens and early 20s in those places. I try to stick to smaller groups on facebook for my interests to avoid trolls and arguments. Too many people just won’t let anyone disagree with them without trying to make it into a fight. I don’t thrive on confrontations. Never have. I don’t believe in fighting for fighting’s sake.

I was constantly accused of being anti social as a child. But, what was the point of socializing in a small town where everyone discussed the same things, dressed the same ways, believed in the same things, and looked the same. I’m not anti social. I just love variety. And I despise anyone who tries to tell me what to think. I don’t like attention from people I can’t relate to. It’s one of the good things about living in a metro area, at leas the one I live in. Most people just leave you alone when you’re out and about.

I tend to have problems with authority figures. I hate being told what to do, how to do things, what to think, how to think, how to dress, etc. I always have. I grew up in an area that valued conformity. I don’t conform to anything, at least not voluntarily. Probably why I failed in most jobs. I grew up in small enough areas that most of the jobs available where service sector jobs. Work from home was never an option, especially before the internet. It upsets me that many places are talking about doing away with work from home jobs entirely. Who benefits? Best traditional jobs I ever had involved not working with the public. It’s one of the reasons I’ve been so angry about many of the good paying manufacturing jobs in the US being outsourced for years. What about those of us who never wanted to be lawyers or retail workers?

Even though I don’t have ‘traditional employment’, I’m constantly busy. I probably spend at least 60 hours a week reading, listening to podcasts, watching educational videos, listening to seminars, listening to audiobooks, etc. And I couldn’t have done any of this had I not been on disability pension. I guess I’m an Independent Scholar/Digital Monk. Sure, I may make poverty level wages, at least by American standards. Yet I don’t feel destitute, especially now since I live in a metro area of over 1 million people. Overall, I am happier now than I have been probably since late 2014. If I ever regained my mobility, I’d be happier now than ever.

I started filing out online surveys for a few extra bucks here and there a few days ago. Will be getting my first payment direct deposit in a few days. Sure, it’s only like 5 dollars. But, at least I’m making a little money for sharing my opinions. It’s more than I ever made from doing blogs. Haven’t even made that much from traditional paperback books or ebooks.

I would love to work from home full time and try to get off disability. But my country doesn’t have Universal Healthcare. Probably never will unless there is a massive shift in peoples’ thinking and priorities. I just don’t see this happening anytime soon. It’s like some people actually want to make things tougher now than they were in the past. It’s backwards thinking. I’m not sure even how to get a work from home job as I’ve never held anything in a field that involved tech and internet. I never had the opportunity to.

I’m absolutely sure I am not the only person on disability pension who could do a work from home online job if only given the chance. I imagine many younger people on disability, the whole work from home jobs would be exactly what they need rather than a monthly pension at poverty level wages. Yet, many companies insist on doing away with work from home. Most government work programs for those on disability don’t involve work from home jobs, at least none that I have ever seen. This is short sighted and stupid.

I probably could work again given the right circumstances. But I haven’t worked for several years, at least not paid employment, because of a lack of options. I am certainly not lazy. My 60 plus hours a week of writing, reading, research, etc. should be proof of that. My research feels like all day play date instead of a traditional job. It actually feels like constant games. I even listen to audiobooks while I play computer games. Most computer games I love involve strategy and knowing some history, economics, and science. I’d even go as far as say I am convinced Independent Research and writing is what God, The Cosmos, etc. wants me to do with my life.

Seeking Intellectual Freedom

Few people may know this, but at one point in my life I was seriously considering a career in academia. For six months in the year 2005 I was an MBA student at the University of Nebraska at Kearney. To pay for my tuition and provide some living money, I worked as graduate assistant. I taught several seminars on computer basics, proctored exams, did some academic research, etc. I loved it. At least, I loved everything except some of the insane hoops we had to jump through. I was initially accepted into the program with the provision I had to pass calculus within the first six months. I never had to take calculus in my undergrad college. I thought it strange I had to take calculus when I had zero interest in doing statistical analysis or accounting. Even back then, I knew a lot of accounting was going to eventually be taken over by computer software and AI. Needless to say, my bosses weren’t impressed when I had to drop calculus at midterm but was doing quite well as a teacher and researcher. I eventually was fired from my grad assistant job because of my grades, namely in calculus. I was offered the chance to stay in the program but without the job. Since I had no way to pay for the program, I walked away. The thing was I had zero interest in statistical analysis. I really just wanted to teach, namely personal finance, investing, and economics.

My economics classes were my favorite classes in undergrad. Our instructor started his career working for an agricultural commodities broker firm. In short, he helped farmers find buyers for their crops and food processing facilities find farmers who were selling their crops. Agricultural commodity broker, the linking of sellers and buyers, was actually John Rockefeller’s first major break before he built his first oil refinery. His biggest customer was the Union Army during the Civil War. So my economics instructor had real world experience before he became a teacher. I had a banking and investing instructor in college who was a licensed CPA and I think a fiduciary (think financial advisor who makes money through hourly consulting fees and not sales commissions). My business law instructor taught only business law as he was a full-time lawyer as his day job. My accounting instructors were all licensed CPAs. My management instructors were all small business owners before they went into academia. As far as I could tell, every single one of them took a pay cut when they went to teach at my small college.

Since I had been inspired to learn more on my own while in college, I continued my education after I left college. Best thing college ever did was 1) Teach me how to learn for myself, 2) Teach me how to form my own conclusions, 3) Be able to find good advice from people even if I disagreed with a significant amount of their other thoughts, 4) Not kill my natural love for learning. I eventually learned how to ‘read between the lines’ on my own, but can we honestly expect 21 year old people to truly know how to spot liars and frauds with true accuracy?

Overall I value my intellectual freedom more than anything else.

Yet Even More of What’s Been on My Mind Since I Moved to Oklahoma City

Talked to an old childhood friend earlier tonight. She was telling me stories about the horrors she deals with everyday at her job in a pharmacy in a college town in the midwest. Caught one of her coworkers smoking pot while on the clock recently. Her boss did nothing. No write up, no drug test, no firing, no verbal reprimand. I’ve been listening to horror stories about working in customer service from my friends, people on reddit forms, youtube videos, etc. for the last ten years. I have a few stories of my own, like getting told off by the owner of the McDonalds I worked at my very first day on the job when I was 16. I told him it was my first day and he said, “I don’t care.” None of my managers and coworkers stood up for me. I was fired a month later supposedly because I wasn’t quick enough on the grill. And yet, I saw coworkers eating on the job, literally taking burgers and chicken out of the storage and eating them while they were working.

That’s mild compared to what I saw at other jobs. I would go into detail but no one believes me. Even at the factory job I had I was threatened with death when my work was suffering because of sleep deprivation. I worked the 11pm to 7am shift, five nights a week for less than 10 bucks an hour in 2006. My work was suffering and one of my line mates yelled at me, “Quit f***ing around or I will kill you godd*****it.” Everyone on my line saw it. No one reported it. I had talked to my foreman about previous problems with this same coworker. Nothing was done. So I knew nothing was going to be done in this case either. So I went to the bathroom, told my foreman I had gotten sick and needed to take the rest of the night off. The next day I put in my request for a transfer to day shift. It was immediately denied. So I quit. Turned in my ID badge and safety equipment right there. The sad thing was, the job itself wasn’t stressful at all, certainly not as stressful as working with the public every day. While it was physically demanding, I could still do it because I wasn’t dealing with unpredictable public every day. But I couldn’t sleep during the days very well. After two months of sleep deprivation, my work was suffering and I was becoming a danger to myself and others.

I could do that job easily even if it was physically demanding. The setup sucked as did the people I was working for. If they would have just worked with me a little, I would have been at the job probably for years. That is, until I developed heart failure. Had I been able to stay at the job, I would have never had to apply for disability even with schizophrenia as I would have been covered by my employer’s health care insurance. Would have also been eligible for a 401(k). I found out in college I had a talent for stock picking and investing. I would be a hell of a lot better off personally and a financially viable member of the American workforce for years if not for the short sightedness of my employers. Needless to say I wasn’t surprised at all when I found out that same factory shut down like ten years later and moved it’s manufacturing. I could work in the right circumstances. I was never given a chance. And because I lived in a rural area, I had a lack of options. I didn’t quit work because I was lazy and didn’t want to work. I quit because the setup sucked, management treated workers worse than animals, and the customers were even worse. And that was in the 2000s.

I left my last permanent job in 2012. It was a great job for me even with my disability. I didn’t go full time because I was afraid of losing my disability insurance and full time was never available. I left because I actually did the math one night and found out for every dollar I made through that job, I lost seventy one cents via lost benefits and increased rent (I was on a sliding scale in low income housing). That was before taxes. And to think people complain about even sales tax of 6 percent.

I stay on disability even though I have a talent for stock picking and investing because Universal Healthcare isn’t a thing in my country. Even though Universal Healthcare works in most European Union countries, Japan, and Canada, I fear it would never work in America even if it was instituted. Seeing my dad’s experience with the VA makes me think that Universal Healthcare would be worse than even the mess we have now. We don’t even have decent mass transit here. People were all up in arms over Obamacare. And that was just health insurance, not universal health care. I still remember people like Sarah Palin talking about “death panels” on live tv. Universal Healthcare will probably never be instituted in America (at least not in my lifetime), but people will actively fight against it even if mass unemployment comes via automation (like I fear it will). We still have the Puritan work ethic and the idea that people that don’t work for money are worthless. As if God put a dollar sign on everything in the Cosmos. Heck, people are still fighting against renewable energy and electric cars in my country even though it’s already cheaper than fossil fuels in most cases (even without subsidies) AND already makes up 20 percent of our power grid. I chuckle when I think on the fact that more renewable was installed in my country under the Trump administration than in any other previous administration. He howled about bringing back coal jobs (even though mining jobs were largely automated even back then) and wind turbines causing cancer. We still pulled off this feat with the US being the only nation to pull out of the Paris Climate Accord. It’s the economics. Even if Climate Change isn’t a thing, the energy revolution is underway because it’s now cost effective. Granted, not as fast as the Al Gores and Greenpeace people of the world would like. “It’s the economy stupid” to quote James Carville.

People like to complain about how “no one wants to work anymore.” My dad does this occasionally. Makes me kind of annoyed every time I hear him say this. Yet, most of the jobs that are readily available are part time (that’s how most fast food and retail gets around paying benefits), and the hours are unpredictable. I explain this to people, but I just as well be speaking to myself. About the only people who get it are the people who have worked such jobs in the last twenty years.

In 2023 America and European Union, with our level of technology and know how, you shouldn’t have to be in the medical field, an engineer, in finance, or in the trades just to afford a small house. Don’t tell me, “be an Entrepeneur” either. Most people aren’t cut out to be self employed. Most new businesses fail within the first five years. Serfs in medieval times were hardly self employed even though they grew most of their own food, built most of their own shanties, and protected by the lords of their lands. Most people can no longer grow their own food or build their own houses. With our technology, we can get away with only a small percentage of the work force being farmers and carpenters. My dad’s dental office would have failed in the first five years back in the 1980s had my mom not been working as a nurse. In fact, my dad tried to get back into the Air Force as a dentist in the early 1980s when we were struggling. But they refused to take him because he was on blood pressure meds. I think some of the standards have changed since then.

Most places are now doing away with work from home, so a worker can’t even count on a move to a cheaper rural area and work via internet even though we have the tech to make it work for the most part. Covid proved that. And it would revitalize dying rural communities like the one I left a few months ago. I’ve been reading about people leaving California and the East Coast since the start of covid. But people have been leaving rural areas since at least the 1930s.

Large tech firms like IBM, Meta, Google, and Amazon are laying off highly paid technicians and replacing them with AI. I’ve been saying this would happen since 2013. Other than my futurist groups on facebook, the only people who believed me were my best friend and my mom. Looks like the STEM degrees people were hyping when I was in college are no longer safe. Even now, over 40 percent of scientists and engineers in Silicon Valley are immigrants. Many of them aren’t safe anymore either. I never want to hear “no one wants to work” ever again. The fact that over 30 percent of workers between the ages of 20 and 39 are working more than one job proves that. That’s the “triggered snowflake” millennial generation.

Now, everyone is telling these kids, “college is worthless”, “join the military” and “go into the trades” and that “some plumbers make more than most lawyers and doctors.” Fools don’t realize they are going to create the same bubble and wage crash in the trades in less than fifteen years. Those jobs will get oversaturated if college stays expensive and automation keeps taking jobs even though trades won’t be able to be automated probably not for decades, if ever. Even some medical and some STEM jobs are no longer safe.

Speaking of the army, a lot of traditional soldier work is now being done by drones, cyber hackers, and robots. The US Army was using robotic pack mules as early as Afghanistan. I think it was Boston Dynamics that demonstrated a drone on treads that could shoot faster and straighter than any human. And that was circa 2010. Besides, modern warfare doesn’t utilize thousands of soldiers on a battlefield, like World War 2. Much of the fighting is done by highly trained special forces, air strikes, drones, etc. Ukraine is proving with advanced drone tech and guided missles they can hold their own against a vastly larger nation like Russia. Just a few days ago, Ukraine shot down a Russian hypersonic missle with American Patriot missles. Patriot missles have been around since at least the early 1990s. Last I heard, over 190,000 Russian soldiers have been killed or wounded in Ukraine since the beginning of the invasion (according to some estimates). So not even the military needs as many young recruits as they did in previous eras. That’s why a draft wasn’t issued in the years after 9/11. Not only is this not your grandfather’s Vietnam, it’s not even my generation’s Iraq.

College got too expensive for most people without going into debt. Most jobs could be learned in a year or two with on the job training and don’t even need a college degree except that most employers require it. Artificial barrier to entry if you ask me. My two best friends from college are in their forties and they are still paying off student loans. One is a high school teacher and the other trained as an IT guy but got laid off from his firm even though he had been there for almost ten years and was classified as an essential worker during covid. And people still have the gall to complain about no one wanting to work or a lack of loyalty.

Workers have been losing protections that were taken for granted by previous eras for decades. People know they are poor. Even people in third world countries know they are poor because they have smart phones with youtube and TikTok. Speaking of third world countries, those countries that some of my countrymen and politicians dismiss as “s*** holes” are regarded as “potential clients” by our Chinese rivals. Matter of perspective I suppose. People know they are being screwed by greedy sociopath bosses and politicians who no longer care about the voters. That’s why I said greed will kill capitalism and democracy faster than kids reading Karl Marx and Mao Zedong. I have zero patience for people who say “we were poor but didn’t know it and were happy.” You were happy because you didn’t know you how bad you were getting screwed over. Even kids in Africa know they are getting screwed. Knowledge is power. Peasants with knowledge are dangerous to abusive tyrants. Tyrants fear the masses getting enlightened as much as they fear an armed populace. And you know what, they should be scared if history teaches us anything. Knowledge can’t be unlearned. There is no going back now.

The fact is I make less than $1000 a month from all sources, get my meds paid for by social security (which would cost over $3000 a month without insurance), eat three meals a day, have a roof over my head, and am suffering from schizophrenia, heart failure and am wheelchair bound. People tell me I am lucky that I can’t work. Sadly, they are right. I am luckier than anyone working the vast majority of service and manufacturing and farming jobs even though I am making poverty level wages, lost my career, lost any shot at a family, and will probably die earlier than most of them due to my heart failure. Welcome to the desert of current day reality. We are underachieving as a society and a species.

Thoughts On Anger, Greed, and Living Below Human Potential

We just had another mass shooting in my country this weekend, this time it was a mall in a suburb of Dallas. Now some politicians are starting to blame our daily mass shootings on untreated mental health problems. As if we mentally ill aren’t already demonized. Statistically, a very small percentage of violent crimes are committed by mentally ill people. Mentally ill people are far more likely to be victims of violent crimes than neurotypicals actually. I’m convinced it’s because many mentally ill live in poverty. Granted, some people I know claim that no one who has electricity and indoor plumbing is truly poor. Maybe in the 1920s. Today, over 80 percent of the world now has electricity. Of the eight billion people in the world, over five billion now have regular access to internet. I heard one of my elders saying “internet is a luxury” as recently as 2019. In 1999, that was true. A lot has changed since then. When over half of the world’s population has access to free education and news, a large percentage of whom make less than 5 dollars a day, it’s no longer a luxury. People used to think indoor plumbing and even being able to read and write were frivolous luxuries. Elders in ancient Greece used to complain that reading and writing were killing mental power and making people stupid. Things change and stay the same.

I am convinced that people are, by and large, more angry and stressed than we’ve been in living memory. Sure we have a world where 90 percent of the population isn’t starving. But the anger is still there because most people have only recently become aware of what is truly possible. Even an illiterate ten year old working in a cobalt mine in central Africa for only two dollars a day probably has heard of the Kardashians, Nicola Tesla, and Elon Mask if he has access to a smartphone or tv. Indigenous tribes in New Guinea knew who Neal Armstrong was back in the late 1970s and were asking visitors who was going to the moon next. People are very angry. Not because they are ungrateful, lazy, or not wanting to work. People are realizing how far below our potential we as a species are living. We no longer need wars. Even young men in Russia with their levels of internet and media censorship, realize that fighting a war in Ukraine is pointless and are voting with their feet. Young people in China are “Lying Falt” and “Letting It Rot” because they are realizing there is more to life than working and buying stuff you don’t need to impress people you don’t respect. Brad Pitt was talking this in the 1999 movie “Fight Club.”

I don’t like using the term waking up as the word “woke” has so much baggage in my country. But people, thanks for free information via the internet and universal literacy being a thing in even the poorest countries, are starting to figure out we can do better than we are. It doesn’t matter your race, creed, sexual orientation, age, political beliefs, or even economic ideals, the vast majority of humanity is not benefiting nearly as much from our science, technology, and education as is possible even now. I’m convinced it’s unrestrained greed that is the root of many of our problems today. I think unrestrained greed has always been at the root of most problems. Greed has been universally condemned by every major religion and legal code since the start of civilization. Greed’s even more dangerous now.

Banning books in libraries and book stores is becoming more common in my country than I can ever remember in my life. Sure, a lot of literature isn’t age appropriate for grade school children. Then again, neither are most parts of the Bible. Neither are some tv shows. My parents had no issues with me watching war movies like Rambo, War Games, and Red Dawn back in the 1980s. But The Simpsons and Al Bundy were completely off limits. Some states are starting to revoke tenure for college professors and scholars. Others are repealing some of their child labor laws. Some states are banning foreign social media like TikTok. Who benefits from these changes? As far as censorship goes, Martin Luther was excommunicated by the Catholic Church (meaning he was damned to burn in Hell forever) partially because he thought Christians should be able to read the Bible for themselves. Since the printing press had recently been popularized, it was only a matter of time before the Church of that era to lose their monopoly on literacy and information.

What is the internet other than the 21st century’s printing press? The most popular book to be printed on the 15th century printing press was the Bible. The second most popular were manuals about how to spot and persecute those who practice witchcraft and heresy. Some of the early explorers, like Christopher Columbus, were inspired by reading about the travels of Marco Polo. The printing press did lead to mass literacy, mass education, etc. But, problems came too. Some of the bloodiest holy wars, like the Thirty Years Wars (1618-1648) between Catholic and Protestant kingdoms of Europe and the English Civil War probably would have never happened without the printing press. Then again, neither would the scientific revolution, the industrial revolution, rediscovery of mass democracy, rights for women and minorities, end of slavery, etc. Same can be said for the internet. I’m old enough I didn’t get an email account until I was 18. Personally, I love that children can do real time Google and Wikipedia searches if they think an authority figure is talking nonsense. Google and Wikipedia are what old codgers like me use. For all I know, some of these children are using even better sources of information that I am not aware of. Censorship ultimately failed after the invention of the printing press. Censorship will fail even worse now with easy access to information.

As much as I love the internet, it’s only the first of several breakthroughs that will define the 21st century to future historians. Advances that are only in recent years becoming commonplace include artificial intelligence, robotics, 3D printing, regenerative medicine, renewable energy, etc. are already impacting the world. Just a few days ago, IBM announced they were laying off almost 8,000 employees and replacing them with the AI tech we already have. I’ve been saying this was going to happen since 2013. I am surprised it’s happening sooner than I thought. Naturally, there is no talk about retraining the displaced workers or even providing some kind of safety net while these displaced workers look for other sources of income. IBM laying off a significant chunk of their workforce is only the beginning. I expect headlines like these to become common faster than most people think.

I’m all in favor of allowing machines to take over some work duties as long as the proceeds get passed on to the public at large, whether it’s though reduced prices on robot produced goods and services, taxes on robot labor (which is favored by some tech gurus like Bill Gates), etc. But that’s probably not what’s s currently happening. And it won’t happen in the near term, at least not without serious social unrest. I’m not sure most people realize the parallels between our current Information Revolution and the Industrial Revolution of the 19th century. I think we are still in the phase of unregulated greed and ambition. If we as citizens were smart, we would be electing senators and presidents in the mold of Theodore Rosevelt. I’m convinced he did as much to make industrialization beneficial to everyone as any politician of his times. I’m convinced he even saved capitalism from its own excesses. In our current world, we have hit the point where most of the world’s people see the possibilities of better standards of living for everyone regardless of what country they live in.

What’s truly holding us back is plain old fashioned greed. There is a fine line between self interest and greed. Unfettered and unregulated greed will do more to kill capitalism and democracy than kids reading Karl Marx or Mao Zedong. It will also kill life on this planet just as dead as any nuclear war if we don’t reign it in. And we are all guilty of this, not just the wealthy and powerful. Manufacturing wouldn’t have been outsourced or done with slave labor ever if people weren’t addicted to cheap goods. We could make all of our electronics and household items in our own nations if people were willing to pay higher prices and employers more willing to raise wages. Just today I saw an episode of Shark Tank and a young married couple were pitching a product that cost $15 to make with American labor and selling for $24. And it was making decent sales. But the “sharks” were saying they wouldn’t fund this couple because the profit margins were “too low” and they “should move their manufacturing to China.” This young couple was already profitable. It’s not like they were losing money. It just wasn’t enough for the sharks to provide any seed money. Greed caused this project to be held back.

Recently saw lots of articles that a majority of people under the age of thirty have an unfavorable view of capitalism. Naturally, some pundits blamed the education system being communist. But, the only capitalism these kids experienced is seeing their parents lose their jobs and houses in the 2008 crisis while Wall Street got bailed out. They saw a lot of businesses go under during covid. They saw the shortages in grocery stores and retailers with their own eyes. They see the homeless camps every day. They undergo live shooter drills in their schools. They see people carrying firearms in malls and churches. They see people have to file for bankruptcy for having to go to the hospital. They themselves are working more than one job just to afford food and an apartment. They have never seen a world where a father could own a house, two cars, and support six children on only one income from the factory or the mine. They have never seen a world where 80 percent of the population were either farmers or factory workers. They’ve seen their parents factory and office jobs get sent to China because of lower wages, no benefits, and fewer environmental protections. Now it’s automation that’s coming for their jobs. Jobs that employ millions of people like drivers, warehouse workers, accountants, much of legal, etc. are no longer safe from automation. The only reason those aren’t automated yet is because it isn’t cheap enough. Give it a few years. Even cheap labor countries like China are going heavy into automation. Too Big To Fail, profitable companies not paying taxes, state sponsored capitalism (in China), mass layoffs, etc. are these kids experiences with capitalism. They have never seen a world where most businesses were local and large corportate jobs payed livable wages and provided pensions. The Founding Fathers, Adam Smith, F.A. Hayek, and Ludwig von Mises would have argued against this style of capitalism. Even Adam Smith talked about “enlightened self interest” back in the 1770s. I take enlightened self interest to mean don’t be a greedy jerk.

Human nature may not be completely changeable, but it can be regulated and restricted. The most free people in human history were Stone Age hunters. But even they had over half of their children die before they hit puberty. Giving up part of our freedom for the prosperity and stability that comes with civilizing ourselves is part of the deal. People today are angry because they know greed is slowing down our progress as a civilization and as a species. The old appeals of nationalism, racial bigotry, ideology, sexism, etc. were losing their appeals even when Carl Sagan talked about them in his Cosmos series in 1980, the year I was born. These are even less appealing to the mass of humanity now in 2023. Things like Occupy Wall Street and The Tea Party protests of a dozen years ago were only the start.

More Overnight Musings

Just today, I read an article on CNN.com that it’s forecasted by the World Economic Forum over 14 million jobs worldwide could be lost to automation by 2027. While I am glad that even traditional news outlets like CNN and 60 Minutes (when they interviewed the CEO of Google about AI and automation a few weeks ago) are starting to report this, I am disappointed that it seems like none of our elected officials (at least not here in USA) are discussing this. Back in the 2020 election, the only candidate that even addressed this is Andrew Yang. I highly recommend watching his interview with Joe Rogan on youtube even if it is a few years old. I also recommend Rogan’s interviews with Elon Musk.

I am convinced that mass technological unemployment is coming by the early 2030s, at least in developed countries. I’ve been convinced of this since 2013. As much as I love economics as a subject, I haven’t seen many economists discuss even the possible problems this could cause. Traditionally, automation has created more jobs than it destroyed and lead to enough resources and revenue being produced that social safety nets like unemployment insurance, public education, social security pensions, disability insurance, and Medicare could be funded. But, will this always be the case? If not, how do we adapt our society and cultural norms if it comes to where we have a society where less than half the working age citizens can even find employment that pays livable wages? Seems like a lot of people are at least 20 years behind on what the tech is already doing, let alone what it can do in the near future. Politicians are even worse, at least in my country. Then again, I don’t look to politicians to solve problems related to tech and science. Most simply can’t as most are lawyers by trade, they aren’t trained to solve problems related to tech or psychological problems associated with a loss of meaning and purpose.

Yes, tech has made it easier to communicate and learn new skills. Yet, has it made us happier and more hopeful overall? Probably not. Physically, our lives are far less taxing than even our grandparents. Yet, they are also more mentally stressful. Maybe that is why we are seeing more cases of mental illness, mass shootings, extremist politics, doomsday preppers becoming normal, and conspiracy theories becoming mainstream. Our Stone Age hunter brains are simply not adapted to dealing with issues like loneliness, information overload, abundance of resources yet lack of meaning and purpose. The human mind reacts to things like getting cut off in traffic or dealing with internet bullies the same way our Stone Age ancestors dealt with tigers and bears. Fight or flight may have been great survival strategies for most of our history, but it’s now causing us needless anguish and pain. I think one of the main reasons most people I know are nostalgic for past decades is that the world is changing technologically and culturally faster than most human minds can process and adapt to.

I don’t know how many of my readers have heard of the concept of Technological Singularity. But it’s a term for a hypothetical time in the future when our science and technology advance to the point where the changes are too fast for the human mind to comprehend and civilization is changed in ways that can’t be reversed. Some futurists, like Ray Kurzweil (chief AI engineer at Google) are convinced it will happen by mid century. Others, like Michio Kaku, think it won’t happen until the 22nd century. Others are convinced it won’t happen until centuries from now. Others are convinced it’s not going to happen ever. I imagine if our great grandparents could see the world of 2023, they would think “Aren’t y’all already there?” While I’m not necessarily worried about a Terminator or Matrix scenario, I am worried that most people simply won’t be able to mentally and emotionally keep up with changing skills and careers every few years. Being obsolete (at least in terms of job skills) is more likely than war against the machines I think, which will cause lots of problems on it’s own. Even I can barely keep up with just the news of changes in tech, culture, and geopolitics and I have the time to research these because my disability pension takes care of my basic needs. I think mainstream media is doing the public a disservice by not devoting more time to science and tech advancements. That’s why I haven’t watched 24 hour cable news since 2007.

Some people I know can’t do a proper Google search, get frustrated with automated customer service, and hate self check out at the Wal Mart. Yet I know children as young as five years old who can already use computers and smartphones, I know children who can already write computer programs and games, I know teenagers whose knowledge of internet, 3D printing, and robotics I probably will never be able to match. I worry about the widening knowledge gap even more than the widening wealth gap. Personally, I don’t bother with self check outs because I get everything delivered to my house. I even had Amazon delivery when I lived in the long term care facility. I guess my opinion on self check outs taking away jobs, well, people said the same things about self service gas stations in the 1970s and gasoline powered automobiles taking away jobs from horse stable workers in the early 1900s. Besides, delivery drivers and warehouse workers will probably eventually get automated too. As much as I love my parents and have known some really cool elderly people over the years, I fear the cynics may have been right when they said ‘science advances only one funeral at a time.’ I think the same could be said about cultural norms and social attitudes.

Speaking of funerals, there are now doctors and scientists who are researching longevity treatments and even age reversal medications. They’ve already been able to double the life span of lab mice and even reverse some aging in mice already. But this tech creeps me more than even book banning and cancel culture. Part of me hopes they fail, like everyone who has ever looked for the Fountain of Youth. I just fear that if we are successful in finding longevity medications that we will have a stagnation in culture and science. We already have wage and economic stagnation. Also, the gaps between the generations and the socioeconomic classes will become impossible to navigate. OK Boomer and Triggered Snowflake could just be a warm up for what’s to come in the next few generations. I mean, we already have 80 year old politicians and businessmen who obviously don’t need the money and past their prime who refuse to retire. I guess that power and prestige are just that addictive. I wouldn’t know. Maybe I’ve been watching too much Altered Carbon and Black Mirror. But even the Bible and ancient folklore talks about elders who lived for over 900 years. Maybe that really is possible with the right treatments. We are only in the beginnings of a new industrial and scientific revolution. Our institutions like politics, education, organized religions, legal, etc. have lost the confidence of the public at large. I think it’s because we haven’t figured out how to adapt to this new world, at least not yet. We’re just figuring this out as we go like with every other revolution. It could get real bumpy before we adapt. Buckle up.

These are just a few of the thoughts I’ve had in recent weeks even though I’ve been studying these topics for years. I am convinced that many people are not prepared for the advances coming within the next several years. We weren’t even ready for the covid pandemic even though pandemics have happened many times over the centuries. I don’t think we as citizens, our politics, or our institutions are ready for what could happen in terms of science and tech that we are already researching. There’s a Chinese saying that goes something like ‘May you live in interesting times.’ Could be both a blessing and a curse at the same time.

Advice To My 18 Year Old Nephew

My oldest nephew is going to graduate high school in a few weeks. He’s going to the same college his parents did to study electrical engineering. Since he was in an advanced study program all the way through high school, he already has most (if not all) of his general education requirements out of the way. This post is my advice to him (and other 18 year olds) about life after high school. I’m doing it as a list of things I’m glad I was told at 18 and things I wished I knew in high school. Here goes.

Things I Knew At Age 18 That Most People Didn’t

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t want to get married or have kids. Marriage and kids aren’t for everyone. Focus on your self development and early career first.

Dating is more dangerous and difficult now than it was in previous generations. It only takes one out of wedlock pregnancy or one accusation (even if it’s false) of misconduct to ruin your entire life. Don’t feel guilty if you struggle with dating. Sometimes it’s not worth the trouble.

Never stop learning. Especially now.

You’re probably going to change careers and even industries several times in your working life. Forget about retiring at age 62 like your grandfather. Social security alone won’t be able to support you in old age. Life expectancy could be crazy long 40 years from now.

If you truly want to get rich, your best chances are with starting your own business. Even then, the odds are against you. Some of the best business leaders would make terrible employees.

The industry you will be working in at age 40 might not even exist yet.

Be flexible when it comes to working. This is even more important now than twenty years ago. Entire industries can rise and go obsolete within ten years.

Don’t expect loyalty out of your employer, employees, government, etc. The world is changing real fast. It’s going to be even more insane twenty years from now.

Don’t participate in any conversations you wouldn’t want going viral on TikTok

There are no secrets anymore. It no longer pays to be a jerk in business. If you are unethical, you will get found out by the entire world. The internet never forgets.

Things I Wish I Knew At Age 18

You can do everything right and still fail. Chance and luck play more into life than anyone wants to admit. No such thing as a truly self made man.

Divorce isn’t necessarily a failure or the end of everything. But, it’s the kids who get hurt the most.

Getting laid off from a job isn’t a failure on your part. Getting laid off is normal now. We’re all independent contractors and hired guns now.

Coworkers are not your friends. Office politics are real and exist everywhere.

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t own a house by your 30th birthday. As much as the job market changes, it might be best to be a renter and able to move to another city or even nation for job opportunities.

Don’t dismiss working overseas. Cost of living is lower in many nations, most developed nations have universal health care, and many countries have better attitudes towards work life balance.

You are competing against the entire world now. If your job can be done cheaper overseas and or by a machine, it will be eventually.

You will probably be worse off financially and standard of living wise than your parents and grandparents. It’s no reflection on you. It’s just a sad fact of living in a declining culture. Hence, don’t rule out moving overseas for your career.

Land is a good investment if you can afford it. But even the Chinese are making man made islands anymore.

Investing in the stock market isn’t necessarily risky. Being short sighted and trying to time everything makes it risky. Don’t panic when the press tells you to panic. Screw the press. You want to be buying when everyone is selling and selling when everyone else is buying. Bulls make money. Bears make money. Sheep and Hogs get slaughtered.

Don’t watch 24 hour news channels. They will only make you bitter, hopeless, angry, and fearful. In fact, don’t even own a TV unless you own a gaming console.

Don’t major in something that can be learned in a few years of binge watching youtube or Khan Academy. In fact, don’t even go to college if you aren’t studying something for a specific career or industry. Many employers are dropping their college degree requirements.

Don’t major in something that can easily be automated or outsourced.

Sometimes the best education is free. Even more so now than ever with internet.

Don’t feel guilty about drinking Starbucks instead of putting the 5 bucks a day in a 401(k). You’re probably not going to retire at 65 anyway. In fact, you could probably easily live to 100 with as fast as medicine is advancing. Expect the social security age to be much higher than 65 before long. Sticking 5 bucks a day in a retirement account probably won’t make you rich. You’re better off trying your chances with starting your own business.

Keep up on science and technology advancements. They can provide good ideas for undervalued investments. They can also make you tougher to replace with robots become our overlords.

Don’t be nostalgic for the past. Your elders are full of crap when they talk about the ‘good ol’ days.’ The world wasn’t better in the past. Those elders were just in better health and less cynical and bitter. Actively fight against being a grumpy old man who complains about everything.