Coping With Pandemic and Mental Illness

Been sleeping a lot lately. I usually go to bed around 9pm and wake around 8am. Mentally I’ve been feeling stable, at least enough to visit with my neighbors a few times per week. I’m glad that another summer has passed. I would really be looking forward to fall and winter if I wasn’t worried about a resurgence of the pandemic. I have avoided crowds and restaurants for over six months now. Looks like I have at least another six months of doing so. At least with colder weather coming I won’t feel as guilty for staying home and isolating.

Two of my friends in Omaha tested positive for covid. They had to quarantine for two weeks. They have recovered. While my hometown hasn’t been hit as hard as many places, I still prefer to stay home and have everything delivered. I think some of my friends and neighbors are getting burned out on the pandemic. I have purposely avoided crowds and public gatherings as many people are on edge. It’s discouraging being around some people anymore.

I have stayed stable in spite late summer being my roughest time. I think it helps that avoid in person contact as much as possible. Sure it is lonely sometimes. But I’m afraid of people anymore, especially during a pandemic and economic depression. I just don’t expect people to come to their senses anytime soon.

Finding Happiness in 2020

Even though I don’t socialize much in person anymore, I try my best to stay connected to family and friends. Talked with my parents over FaceTime this morning. My dad had a check up on his heart and he does not need stints or surgery. He is joining a neighborhood gym as he wants to get more active again. I started lifting weights again on a regular basis last week. Even after a few sessions I can feel the strength and endurance starting to return.

In bad news, two of my friends in Omaha tested positive for covid. They are under quarantine for the next two weeks. They aren’t able to work and they sleep most of the time. One friend is a delivery man so he obviously can’t be going anywhere until this clears. Fortunately they seem to be doing better now than a few days ago. I imagine eventually I’ll catch this too. I just hope it’s mild. Even though I’m only 40, I am overweight and mentally ill.

Got some groceries coming this morning. I’m rebuilding my winter supplies. The leaves are starting to change in my hometown. I usually have my windows open during the day but run the furnace at night as it’s starting to get chilly after dark.

I’ve been forcing myself out of my apartment a couple times a day for almost a week now. Sometimes it is as simple as just standing in the hallway for a few minutes. Sometimes I’ll even set up a chair in my doorway so I can sit and try to chat with whomever shows up.

I nap more during the days. I am usually my most active in late mornings and overnights these days. My sleep patterns can change with the seasons and they change if my illness changes too. Haven’t had any serious breakdowns for a few weeks. I still have minor flare ups at least once or twice per day. They don’t usually last long. I have gotten to where I can just let them pass and not feel bad they happen.

I have a couple packages from amazon coming this afternoon. I imagine kids growing up today look forward to the amazon delivery man as much as I did going to the mall when I was growing up.

Changed the parts on my cpap machine yesterday. Slept really well last night. I try to change out the parts a few times a year just to keep the machine properly working.

I don’t have much else planned for the rest of the week. My cleaning lady arrives on Thursday afternoon. I like her. She engages me in conversation while she works. I usually just stay sat down and out of her way while she cleans. I supply the cleaning agents and she does the rest. And she at least tolerates my eccentric sense of humor 🙂