Tag Archives: baseball

Change in Seasons and Change in Routines

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Spring started a few days ago.  We’re starting to get more rain and the weather is warming up.  Saw my first lightning of the season yesterday.  My fantasy baseball league had it’s draft last night.  Since we’re spread out all over the country now we have to have our league hosted by yahoo.  It’s been an annual tradition for me for the last ten years.  I’ve never won my league as I’m pretty average compared to the eleven other guys in our league.  It’s a diversion for me and an excuse to pay attention to games I wouldn’t normally watch.  The first baseball games start the first Monday in April.  Winter is over.

I saw my psych doctor earlier this week.  According to his scale I gained a pound since my last appointment six weeks earlier.  Hopefully I have stopped the losing streak in terms of gaining weight.  Unfortunately I have gained a lot of weight since my car accident a year and a half ago.  For a long time I was afraid to drive and didn’t go anywhere except to buy groceries and run errands.  I can tell the lack of socializing has hurt me.  I know I’m less patient with people then I used to be.  I am not as spontaneous as I used to be either.

I complained to my psych doctor about my lethargy and lack of motivation.  We increased the doses of some of my medications.  He also suggested I buy some probiotic pills.  He had read a lot of literature stating that people with mental illness problems often have gut health issues too.  He said that gut health and mental health can affect each other.  After a few days on the probiotic pills, I’m noticing I am having some more energy.  I am also not sleeping as much even after only a few days.  I am also having fewer unexplained aches and pains.  I hope this only continues to improve.  My only true complaint about the probiotic pills is they are pricey.  But I am starting to feel better and more energetic overall.

As stable as I usually am during the winter, I am glad that winter is over.  The weather is starting to warm up and I’m not just wanting to stay home and hide out all the time.  I am feeling a sense of hopefulness for the first time in months.  I really think things are starting to settle down.  I haven’t had much settled for me for a long time.  This sense of normalcy is a welcome relief.

End of Winter

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The weather is starting to warm up and the days are getting longer.  Spring will be in full effect within a few weeks.  I am enjoying the warmer weather.  I’m getting out of my apartment a few times a day to enjoy the warmer weather.  During the course of the winter I have gotten lazy about cleaning my apartment.  So a few days worth of spring cleaning is in order.  Unfortunately I let my house kind of slide for the colder winter months.

Baseball will also be starting in a few weeks.  I still have several days to do some research before I have to pick my fantasy league baseball team.  Been watching a few pre season games the last few days.  First time I really watched regular tv since the Super Bowl.  February has always been a slow time of year for me.

Been feeling pretty stable mentally overall.  I have started to wake up earlier as I no longer sleep until noon every day.  I don’t sleep as much and I think my body and mind are starting to reenter spring mode again.  I’m not staying up as late either.  Seems to me that my overnight mentality is strongest in the darker days of winter.

I can tell that spring is almost here and winter is all but done.  The weather is warming up, the nights aren’t as long, daylight saving time will begin next weekend in my country, the trees are starting to bud, the grass is a little greener, and it seems that the people around me are getting in better moods as the weather warms and the days get longer.  I had dealt with so many foul moods over the last few months I pretty much isolated for most of the winter.  I just didn’t want to deal with angry people anymore.  But even the people in my life are starting to act more cheerful and optimistic.

Even though I have been making a point to leave my apartment several times every day I still haven’t worked up to taking an extended road trip.  I haven’t been outside of my town since last fall.  I actually made it through the winter with having to fill my gas tank only once I drove so little this winter.  But I think since the weather is starting to warm I may have to make a few trips.  It has gotten old spending most of my time at home and having the bulk of my social interactions taking place over phone and internet.

I am looking forward to spring.  I am glad that winter is all but over.  Won’t be long now.

Being A Sports Fan With Mental Illness

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I confess to spending a shameful portion of my free time watching sporting events on tv.  I had the Olympics on every night they were on.  I often have a baseball game going on in the background when I’m doing internet research.  I have been a member of a fantasy baseball league for the last several years as well as participating in college football bowl game picks.  Money doesn’t change hands as most of my friends and I just do it to make the games more interesting.

The college football season starts this weekend.  The state’s university football team, the Nebraska Huskers, is practically a state religion.  I like watching the games even though the older I get the more I feel guilty about watching young men injure themselves for my entertainment.  Plus many people in my home state take winning and losing too serious for my tastes.  That’s why I avoid fan forums and online discussions, especially during years the team doesn’t do well.  Last year was one of those years when the team had a losing record with a new coach.  When the whole state follows something like that it’s impossible to avoid discussing it in conversations.  Sometimes this causes me undo stress and anxiety, much like people discussing politics.  Politics and sports fanaticism are two things I really hate because people just aren’t rational about either one.  While I like watching football and baseball, I do think most fans have messed up priorities when it comes to supporting their teams.  I know this isn’t unique to America as I’ve heard stories about soccer riots in England and South America.  And just today I saw a news article stating a school district in Texas is going to spend over $60 million to build a high school football stadium.  Seriously, how many high school players go on to play even in college, let alone the pros?  I can’t imagine any school district spending that kind of money to improve their academics.

In short I do like watching sports as a diversion but I don’t take them so serious that it messes up my priorities.

 

Dog Days of Summer and Mental Illness

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Been feeling pretty decent mentally for the last several weeks.  I haven’t really felt much anxiety or aggravation this month.  I am back exercising again.  Still have a long way to go to build up my stamina.  But it is better than even two weeks ago.  I am starting to get out of my apartment complex more often.  I haven’t been to the park much this summer but I am beginning to get over my fear of driving.  It’s been quite hot in my town this summer, especially this month.  So far the heat isn’t effecting my mood.  I usually do better in colder weather than hot weather.  Winter and spring are usually my best times of year.

Heard back on my insurance claim from my auto accident last October.  They’re offering to cover my medical expenses and give a little extra for my troubles.  I’m not sure what I’m going to do with the money as I already live debt free and really wasn’t planning on getting anything extra.  I’ll probably put the money into my savings.  When my car was wrecked, the auto shop had to do a few thousand dollars worth of work on the car.  It was almost as much as the resale value of the car.  If the airbags would have deployed or the damage much worse, the car would have been scrapped.  It’s a good car with only 42,000 miles and only one previous owner.  It was a commuter car for a nurse who took good care of it.  It’s a good car and hopefully I can hold onto it for the next ten years.

It won’t be too long before the weather starts cooling off and school starts again.  School starts in 3 1/2 weeks in my town.  Since I live in a college town, this town really comes to life again in the autumn.  I went to the community open house at the local state university last year.  Had enough fun I might go again this year.  I haven’t done much for socializing or fun this summer.  My nephews and niece are visiting their grandparents next week so we’re talking about taking the kids to a museum and for a picnic lunch in my town when they are here.  It’s their last fling before school starts.  The oldest is starting middle school this year.  And the youngest will probably start pre kindergarten this year as well.

The Olympics start next week too.  I always enjoy those.  I especially like watching the track and field events.  I hope it goes off without any problems.  I really haven’t watched much for tv or sporting events since the end of the Copa America and Euro tournaments.  I especially had to watch when Team USA played.  Other than getting blown out by Argentina the US team put up a better showing than I thought they would.  It would go a long way to popularizing soccer in the US if they put up a good showing at the World Cup in a couple years.  I follow soccer some, especially if Team USA is playing, because I have a niece and a nephew who are big soccer players already.  And I have to keep reminding myself that unlike football or baseball, soccer doesn’t have tv timeouts every fifteen minutes.  More than once I have had to visit the restroom while watching a game only to miss a goal.

The weather will start turning cooler within four to six weeks.  The leaves will start turning by late September and the corn harvest will begin in late September and be in full speed by October.  This has been a long summer for me but it is almost over.  I’m pretty happy that I have gotten through much of the summer without any prolonged problems.

Days of Calm and Keeping Busy

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My back is essentially healed up by now.  I can walk normal speed again and do my normal errands.  I’m spending more time out of the apartment.  Been to the park a couple times in the last week, chatted with a few neighbors, called a couple old friends, and gotten some sunshine.  This was a far cry from where I was just three weeks ago.  When I first hurt my back I didn’t leave my apartment for three days just from the pain.  Fortunately I managed to keep myself occupied with computer games, reading, youtube videos, phone calls to friends and family, and watching soccer and basketball on tv.

I was following the Copa America tournament over the last several days. Been watching a little of the Euro 2016 tournament too.  I saw all of USA’s games.  I haven’t traditionally made it a point to watch much soccer except when USA is playing.  I may be changing that as  the US put up a decent showing until when they ran into Argentina.  It helps that I have a nine year old nephew and a seven year old niece who are big soccer players.  My brother encourages his four kids to do numerous activities.  He won’t let them play football but I don’t blame him, especially with all the injuries.  I hurt my back in a football game when I was fifteen and I couldn’t sit without pain for months afterward.  Yet I didn’t tell the coaches or even my parents.  I suppose it went with the whole macho mentality that pain is just a part of football.  Plus playing football was the only thing I did in high school that most people considered normal.  The older I get the more I feel guilty about watching football.  It’s essentially people maiming themselves for my amusement.  But I guess it’s not as bad as ancient Romans cheering while lions eat Christians.  It’s just not as entertaining as it was ten to twenty years ago.

I still like baseball though.  Don’t watch it every night like I used to.  Even then I usually had it on in the background while I was doing chores, writing, reading, or doing something on my computer.  I still participate in a fantasy baseball league with some old college friends and friends of friends.  I met most of those guys when I was at Matt’s wedding in the Black Hills last July.  So I finally got to meet some of the guys I’ve only known by their screen names.  It is a competitive league but no money changes hands.  And my Rockies are doing a little better than normal, just slightly below fifty-fifty.

I may have been limited for the last few weeks but I still managed to keep busy.  And now that the back is cleared up I’ll be able to do even more.  Fortunately I haven’t had any flare ups of the mental illness in the last month.  I haven’t had any true flare ups since late March actually.  The one main medication I am on was shown by the DNA test I took to be more effective than most for me.  It certainly has proven that.  I’m reading more again.  I had been lazy about reading for a couple weeks when my back hurt real bad.  I was watching educational videos on youtube and reading blogs instead.  But it does feel good to see things falling back into place after weeks of hard work and rehabilitation.

 

 

Changing Meds and Other Changes

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I started the process of changing to new medications a few days ago.  And I’m noticing some changes already.  I have found I actually need a little less sleep now.  Used to be I got 8 hours a night like clock work, now I need only 6 to 7 hours.  I have even been making a point to get out of my complex more.  Went to the park for an hour and chatted with a bunch of neighbors on Saturday.  Found out three tenants are moving out within a month. One of those tenants was the grumpiest and angriest man I ever met in my entire life.  I mentioned him in a previous blog.  He’s one of these old guys who doesn’t believe in mental illness.  He believed that people like me were just making these problems up because we “are lazy and don’t want to do any real work.”  I hate people like that.  Guys like that are petty people and just have to make everyone else miserable.  Needless to say I won’t miss this ornery old man.  His impending departure was the happiest news I have heard in weeks.

Got out quite a bit today.  It was quite warm here today, more like late spring than early spring.  Currently have a baseball game on in the back ground.  I enjoy watching baseball.  It is more relaxing than football, that’s why I enjoy it more.  I’ve been out more the last few days than the previous two weeks.  In addition to wanting to get out and about more I’ve been wanting to socialize more.  I actually felt lonely today for the first time in months.  I previously haven’t minded the solitude and have actually wanted it.  But now I’m starting to actually want to socialize.

I’ve been listening to more music too.  Found out I like some of the newer dance, techno, and dubstep music.  Normally an older guy like myself would like only music they grew up with.  But I have never cared about when music was made.  Good music is good music, I don’t care if it’s Mozart, Louis Armstrong, old Delta Blues, John Lennon, hard rock, hip hop, or techno.  I never did like these old guys who always complained about the “lousy kids.”  So I vowed at age thirteen that when I became an old guy myself, I’d go easier on the kids than my elders did.  Been watching a little more tv too.  I’ve been watching ‘Marco Polo’ on Netflix.  If you are turned off by violent shows, I don’t recommend it.  But it is a cool show about how different cultures interact with each other.  Another series with similar themes I’ve been rematching is ‘Hell on Wheels’, which is about the building of the first transcontinental railroad in America immediately after the Civil War.  I still watch ‘Star Trek’ every so often.  But with wanting to socialize outside my apartment more, I may be finding myself with less down time.  And that would definitely be a change.

Start of Baseball Season and Spectator Sports With Mental Illness

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Today is Easter Sunday, one of the major events and celebrations of the Christian religion. For baseball fans in America, like myself, it is also the start of the Major League baseball season.  Hope springs eternal for the fans of all teams, even for Rockies fans like myself.  While I am hopeful that we can put up a better showing, especially after two disaster seasons, the logical part of my brain tells me it will be a typical Rockies season: Be competitive until Memorial Day, have a lousy June and July, and start thinking about Broncos football after the All Star Break.  But I got hooked on the Colorado Rockies after going to a few games with college friends and my family over the years.  I became a die hard after going to a World Series game in Denver in 2007.  Even though we lost to the Red Sox in a four game sweep, it seemed that fans in Denver were so psyched to have made it that far that it was Christmas before they realized they were swept in the Series.  In all fairness and respect, the Red Sox had such a great team in those years that almost no one would have had a chance.

As much as I like watching live sports, especially baseball and college football, in many cases I prefer to watch at home or a friend’s place on a HDTV as opposed to watch games in person.  As a life long Nebraskan, I’ve been to several Husker football games over the years.  My family has season tickets and my dad graduated from the University.  Haven’t been to many since my mental illness problems really set in.  Part of this is due to I don’t handle large crowds in small spaces well.  And 90,000 people in a football stadium qualifies as large crowd in a small space.  As tough as I find large crowds in open air arenas, enclosed crowds like basketball games and music concerts are even tougher.  I get overwhelmed easy and I have fears of heights and enclosed spaces.  I get air sick climbing a ladder, let alone sitting in the third tier of the cheap seats.

So to get my fix of live entertainment without the stresses of dealing with large crowds, I go to things like open air concerts in the city parks, minor league baseball games in Omaha (go Storm Chasers!), and high school football games on Friday nights.  My friends and I can get seats right behind the dugouts for a minor league game in Omaha for only 12 dollars apiece.  Parking isn’t pricey either.  If you watch yourself at the concession stands, you can have a real good time at a minor league ball game for less than 25 dollars per person.  And you might even able to say ‘I saw such-and-such hot shot pitcher/outfielder before he was a star.’

I am glad to see the start of baseball season.  Many no doubt think it’s a boring game where things happen only when you’re not paying attention.  But I like it because it’s played every day, so it’s a more relaxed mentality than football or soccer.  Some may be upset because of the high salaries the players make.  All I can say is if I was one of the top 1,000 people in the world at blogging or any profession, I’d be making ridiculous amounts of money too.  Some of top people on youtube make over a million dollars per year.  I’d be making a lot of money too if thousands of people paid to see me work or if I had millions of viewers and got a few advertisers.  But I’m digressing.  I enjoy the relaxed nature of baseball, I enjoy the history, and I enjoy the uniqueness of the game.  For all I know, this could be the Rockies year.  If not, Wait ’till Next Year!

Rooting For A Last Place Baseball Team

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Rooting For A Last Place Baseball Team 

A Poem by Zach Foster

 

My hometown baseball team is now forty games out of first

Of the teams in the league, we are the worst.

The pitching staff, so eager and young,

On which our hopes of a dream season hung,

Got lit up early and often and never came around

Sinking our chances for the pennant with only the sound

Of the crack of the other teams’ bats sending the ball

Over our outfield’s walls.

Our bats started luke warm only to go completely cold

When our two best hitters got traded and sold

To better playing teams on the coasts,

From there the team gave up the ghost.

Sitting in the stands of our ballpark on a late September day

With far more empty seats than fans who paid

I’m watching this scorned mut of a team I’ve loved since youth

Fighting desperately nail and tooth

To stay in a meaningless late season game

With nothing but pride to gain.

For those of us few, but faithful, bleacher bums, we have no fear

For our rallying cry is “Wait until next year!”