Things I Need To Appreciate Before They Are Gone Forever

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Taking a detour for this post. Reflecting on all the change that happened in 2020 has me thinking about the major changes that will be coming just in my lifetime, let alone those who are still children. I’ve seen a lot of changes already in my 40 years. Some I don’t miss, like the smell of cigarette smoke everywhere, massive amounts of air pollution everywhere, bigotry and sexism being socially acceptable by most people, etc. Some I do miss, like my grandparents, seeing my cousins and friends almost every day, and healthy knees. But here is an informal list of things I’m going to miss when they are gone. Many of these could be gone in my lifetime.

Things I Need To Appreciate More Before They Are Gone Forever

My hearing

The internet being as wide open as the frontier

Privacy

My dollars being worth something

Inexpensive chocolate

Cool coastal cities like Venice and New Orleans

My niece and nephews as children

Getting to chat up delivery men before they get replaced by drones

High paying manufacturing jobs

USA being the only superpower in the world

Human Truck Drivers

Movies like Gattaca being science fiction

Amazon being both a rain forest and an online shop

Living World War 2 veterans

Living Vietnam War veterans (namely my father and my uncle)

Cheap cryptocurrencies

Cheap silver and copper coins

Humanity living only on Earth

Sea ice in the Arctic Ocean

Undeveloped Antarctica

Orbital Space Garbage not being an issue

Bioterrorism and Cyberwar being science fiction

Peace between major world powers

Easy access to drinking water

High paying white collar jobs before AI takes them over

California before The Big One hits

Social Media being free

Helium

Shopping Malls

More people being employed than unemployed

People having children before they can start modifying their kids’ genetics

Inexpensive Coffee

Humans driving cars being a normal thing

Coral Reefs

African Elephants

Polar Bears

Lions and Tigers outside of zoos and game preserves

Heavy Metal Music

Old School Hip Hop Music

Musicians like Bob Dylan, Dolly Parton, and Paul McCartney

Actors like Kevin Costner and Daniel Day Lewis

More humans than robots

January 2 2021

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Another holiday season has come and gone. I saw my parents a couple days before Christmas. Had Christmas dinner with them. First time I saw them since June. We still have lots of snow on the ground so I don’t get out much these days. Been content to stay home, listen to audiobooks, and play computer games.

Been sleeping more lately. I have more or less kept to myself between Christmas and New Year’s. Been feeling kind of irritable and short tempered the last few days. So I’m reducing my caffeine and trying to sleep more. I also make a point of avoiding rude and angry people. I think the pandemic is getting to most people I know. It’s gotten to me sometimes even if I try not to take it out on others. Two of my cousins had covid this fall. There have been a few thousand cases in my hometown with a few dozen deaths. So it is here even several hours outside of major cities. Granted we haven’t had the protests or looting that some places have. If I wasn’t concerned about covid I probably would get out and about more often. But as I am mentally ill and overweight I already have two conditions that would make covid worse than normal for me. I still have some face masks, a bottle of hand sanitizer, plenty of soap, and enough food supplies and meds I can stay bunkered down for weeks if needed.

I guess the highlights of my week are when my neighbors and I drop in on each other just to check in. My neighbor across the hall is kind enough to pick up my mail and help me out a couple times a week. In exchange I will usually give him some face masks or some quarters. We have a soda pop machine on ground floor that has the coldest soda pop I ever had. It’s worth the 75 cents a can to get a frigid Diet Coke. Our laundry machines still take quarters too. My mom gave me a bunch of quarters for Christmas. Saves me a trip to my bank. I also enjoy Thursday afternoons when my cleaning lady arrives. She gives the place a good scrub down every week and she indulges my need for chatting. I’m glad she at least tolerates my eccentric sense of humor.

Overall I’ve done okay during this pandemic. Sure I get lonely sometimes. But that’s why I have a cell phone and my facebook account. But, since I sold my car back in 2019 I’m able to save some money as I don’t have to buy gas or change oil. Once I found I could get my groceries delivered and get amazon delivery, usually within two to three days even in my rural town, I no longer had much of a need for a car except for emergencies. My drivers’ license is due to be renewed this summer. I’ll probably keep it updated just for emergency purposes. I tend to get sensory overload with my mental illness. And I felt that made me unreliable as a regular driver. Since I can already get most things delivered to my house, I really don’t need a car. Even my small town now has a few Uber and Door Dash drivers. As I can stay home with fewer problems, I’ve managed to avoid getting sick so far. Hopefully only a few more months until I can get the vaccine.

Day After Christmas 2020

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My parents did come up to see me for a couple days right before Christmas. We didn’t go anywhere. Just had Christmas dinner in my apartment. They spent two nights in a motel. It would have been only one night except we had blowing snow that made travel dangerous. It was good seeing them for the first time since June. Yes, it was a risk. But at least they took precautions like wearing masks and distancing even in my apartment.

I’ve been sleeping a lot the last few days. Usually a few hours here and there. Averaging about 11 hours of sleep per day for this week. I don’t feel sick or anxious or irritable. I just crave sleep. Usually a few days of extra sleep can set me up nicely.

Looks like a long winter is ahead of us. I’m prepared to bunker down if needed.

Christmas and Pandemic and Mental Illness

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We’re now only a week away from Christmas. My elderly parents and I both think travel is too risky this year. I guess I quit keeping track on where the worst outbreaks were. My town has been having outbreaks to where I don’t even leave the complex anymore. I bought a couple boxes of masks for management to hand out to shut ins and people who can’t get masks. I’m glad they got the supply issue on those figured out. Also picked up some disinfectant spray last time I bought groceries.

Had a Zoom call with my psych doctor a few days ago. I’ve been stable enough that we decided not to change anything. I talked to him for at least twenty five minutes. I see him again in two months. I sometimes have momentary flare ups. Haven’t been as bad this week as last week.

I’m having fewer aches and pains these days, even when I wake up. My flexibility is slowly coming back. I’ve been lifting weights three times a week. I plan on doing this for the rest of winter.

As far as my plans for Christmas, my cleaning lady said she would bring a plate of food. I will be calling my parents, my brother’s family, and as many friends as I can. Most of my friends are pretty stressed this holiday season. My friends in Omaha are looking for a cheaper apartment. Both had covid back in September. My friend in Denver is looking to buy a house in a rural area. Housing is overpriced in most urban areas. And her neighborhood has gone really bad within the last ten years.

I’m glad I don’t live anywhere near a city center if things are going to be this bad and stressful. At least in a small college town I can disappear and blend in and still be in a pretty safe town. Living in a small town (less than 40,000 people) several hours away from any major metropolitan areas, I think we’ve avoided most of the problems with the protests and the early outbreaks. We’ve had shortages on some supplies, namely cleaning supplies. And for a few weeks during the summer we had shortages on frozen meats after the outbreaks at several large packing plants. But it was easily managed with a little planning.

Some people got complacent in the early months when it was mainly urban areas having the most problems. But it was only a matter of time before the virus made it to the rural areas. I haven’t been to the hospital since the pandemic started. I haven’t eaten in a restaurant either. With Door Dash being in my town, I probably could get any fast food within reason delivered. But as it’s been three years since I had even a Big Mac, I guess I lost my taste for fast food. Fast food no longer agrees with me. I usually get upset stomach when I eat things like that.

But now that the vaccines are being given, hopefully the end of the pandemic is in sight. 2020 has been a dark year for most people. I’m thankful I haven’t had as many problems as most people even if I rarely leave home anymore.

December 12 2020

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We had our first snow of the Christmas season yesterday. Got several inches. Basically a good day to stay home. A mask mandate for our apartment complex is now in effect. I ordered a couple boxes of face masks. I told the manager of our complex I’m going to let her hand those out to residents. There are several shut ins and limited mobility people in here. I’m limited mobility myself these days. Thankfully I can have most things delivered to my place. And when I’m too sore to pick up my mail or packages, one of my neighbors will help me out. I gave him some masks as he is out and about a great deal.

Mentally I have some rough moments. Fortunately they don’t last very long. I usually just allow myself to rant and vent as long as no one else is around. It usually goes away after several minutes. I find that good sleep, a balanced diet, and easing off caffeine and severely limiting sugar helps with this. Usually happens a couple times a day. Mornings are usually the roughest.

Things I Love About Being An Adult

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Going off subject for this post. These are some of the things I enjoy about being an adult.


Things I Love About Being An Adult

Privacy

Being able to vote but realizing that I am far more than what I vote for

Being able to change jobs easier than changing schools

Having locks on my bedroom door

Not feeling guilty for not being like everyone else

Not feeling pressure to date or get married

Not being afraid to ask for help

Not feeling guilty for not wanting to run errands for people

Getting to cook what I want for dinner every night

If I don’t like where I live, I can always move

Being able to save money

Being able to pursue my own interests

Not feeling guilty for pursuing my own interests

Not having to fake interest in things I couldn’t care less about

Not feeling guilty for not tolerating bad treatment from other people

Realizing that people in authority are often clueless

Not having to automatically respect someone because they are old or have money

Realizing there is far more to the world than my tiny farming village

Not being afraid to like diversity

Not being afraid to not voice my opinions if I don’t want to

Not being forced to live in a place where everyone thinks they have a right to know what I’m up to at all times

Realizing there is more to life than just working and making money

Not being an outcast for liking intellectual things

Realizing there is nothing grown up or rebellious about getting drunk or stoned

Not feeling weird for not wanting to date and have sex

Not feeling guilty for just wanting to be left alone

Not feeling guilty for just wanting to be anonymous

Realizing it’s far better to be smart and eccentric than it is to be just as boring and mundane as everyone else

Realizing that yes, nerds really do rule the modern world

Not having to care about gossip

Being free to make friends with whomever I want

Realizing that a bad few days isn’t the end of my life

Realizing that the world isn’t as screwed up as the media or my elders make it out to be

Not feeling stupid for having hope in humanity

Being around long enough to see that what goes around often comes back on people

Being around long enough to see that constantly treating people like garbage comes back to haunt people more often than not

Being around long enough to see stupid and rude people often get to suffer for being stupid and rude

Being around long enough to realize that nothing lasts forever

Did I mention that I actually have some privacy as an adult and I absolutely love it?

December 5 2020

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I’m probably spending Christmas 2020 by myself this year. I think it’s still too risky for my elderly parents to travel several hundred miles during a pandemic. I see vaccine distributions will start right before Christmas here in the USA. I read that England approved theirs a few days ago. I’ll probably get mine in the spring. Meanwhile I’ll probably spend winter close to my home, wear masks when I have guests, and spend my days reading and working on computers.

Bought some groceries yesterday. Talk to my neighbors for a few minutes every day. One of my neighbors, whom is still very mobile, often picks up mail and packages for the less mobile residents of my complex. I gave him several facemasks as he’s often on the go.

I’m starting to sleep less again. I’m up late most nights. But haven’t felt any ill side effects yet. Started lifting weights a week ago. I haven’t had problems with paranoia for weeks. I also don’t notice people walking and talking in the hallways as much lately.

December 3 2020

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Overall I’m doing alright. Been feeling stable for the last several weeks. I usually leave my apartment at least once a day to check on my neighbors and or meet the delivery man. My neighbor was kind enough to pick up my mail yesterday morning. I gave him a few face masks for his troubles. My cleaning lady is scheduled to arrive this afternoon. She took last Thursday off for Thanksgiving. I love the fact that I get a cleaned house and intelligent conversation out of the deal.

The number of covid cases is increasing again. A couple vaccines will probably be approved for mass use by Christmas here in USA. Read that England approved one of theirs on Wednesday morning. I’ll be glad when this finally burns out.

Weather is getting cold again with winter being only a few weeks away. Other than a couple snows earlier, it’s been dry in my hometown for weeks. Even my parents in Oklahoma are having snow right now.

Bought some groceries and those will be delivered this afternoon. I’ll be restocked and ready to face the next couple weeks. I have another psych doctor’s appointment before Christmas.

Thanksgiving 2020

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It is Thanksgiving here in the USA. I’m spending it by myself as my parents and I both agreed it probably was too risky for them to travel several hundred miles while the new cases were at an all time high. So I talked with them over the phone this afternoon. Called a few friends to check on them. My cleaning lady is making plates of food for her disabled and home bound clients. I made some grilled brats for myself. A local disaster relief agency dropped off a plate this morning. So even though I had to stay home I still got the traditional Thanksgiving meal. They even sent a couple slices of pumpkin pie 🙂

2020 has been a rough year for most people. Between the pandemic, protests, lockdowns, elections, layoffs, etc. almost everyone has a story from this year. We also saw the development of several vaccines within a year of discovering covid 19. We saw private space flight take major leaps. Saw the first human passengers on a test hyperloop. If the hyperloop does get as big as I think it eventually will, future generations will look back on that the same way people today look back on the Wright brothers and the first cosmonauts and astronauts. Competitive e-sports is becoming really big. Even my alma mater is going to start an e-sports team in fall 2021. And it’s a small Christian college of less than 1000 students. While I personally would rather play games than watch others play, I suppose it’s really the same idea as watching live sports like baseball and soccer on tv or in the arena.

I’m thankful that, in spite all these changes and tragedies, I am still mentally stable. 2020 is a year that people will be talking about long after I’m gone. Hopefully it will be a year when we started making the positive changes that have been needed but have been putting off. Crisis often brings out the best (and sometimes worst) in people and nations.

Thanksgiving During Pandemic

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I’m spending my Thanksgiving in my apartment this year. I couldn’t get my ham so I’m grilling bratwursts and making a large pot of cheese soup instead. I’ll also be doing Zoom calls with my parents and my brother’s family. I think most people in my complex are either staying home or going to local relatives. My cleaning lady said she’d bring a plate for me and the rest of her disabled clients.

Been listening to audiobooks more lately. Currently a couple hours into some Nietchze. As far as my other projects for pandemic, I recently finished Wealth of Nations by Adam Smith. I started back in February and finished a few days ago. Certainly a worthwhile read for anyone interested in history and economics. Granted it’s really long, almost as long as the Bible. Been reading more poetry too, mostly Emerson, Whitman, and Dickenson. Read some Kipling this summer.

Read in the news yesterday a third vaccine is ready for FDA approval. I think it’s from AstraZenica. I just hope enough people use it and distribution can be solved. I imagine front line health care workers, police, and military will be the first in line Hopefully I can get mine sometime by summer 2021. In the meantime, I’m avoiding crowds and wearing masks when I meet delivery drivers. For the ones that don’t come to my apartment, one of my healthier neighbors will drop off packages for myself and the other shut ins.

I did have a slight flare up over the weekend. Thankfully it was short lived. Nothing a few minutes of ranting and several hours of sleep couldn’t solve. Overall I’m doing well even if I am voluntarily isolating. I just hope this burns out soon.