End of Winter, Maybe

Getting out of the apartment more than once a day now.  For awhile during the fall and winter, there would be times I’d go entire days without leaving my apartment.  But I guess that spending my days chatting with online friends, reading articles, and messing with computer games and programs gets stale after awhile.  A change was due.  Right now much of my region of the country is getting bad blizzards.  I personally have only a couple inches of snow, some ice, but terrible winds.  Fortunately it isn’t as cold as it could be, otherwise it would be Ice Age revisited.  And this happened right as most of the snow we’ve had since before Christmas was melted.  But, this being a late winter blizzard, should be melted soon.  Then we’ll worry about flooding.  So it goes.

Now that I actually want to leave my apartment and venture out, I can’t because of weather.  I’ve been bound to my town all winter just because it was too risky to travel.  My car doesn’t do well in snow.  So I pretty much stay inside most of the time.  I do force myself outside every few days just to get what little sunshine and fresh air I can.

Been having a few minor flare ups of irritability and depression lately.  Fortunately I’ve been able to constructively deal with these.  I do have to sleep more and severely limit my caffeine.  I haven’t had coffee in over a week.  While I do feel less irritable, I do sleep more and feel more scattered.  Fortunately I don’t get much for back pain anymore.  Maybe I have lost more weight.  I exercise some every day.  And I make it a point to stand up or lay down every couple hours so as to break up the boredom and long days.  Been a tougher than usual winter.  Physically it’s been tough because of the snow, cold, wind, and lack of physical activity.  It hasn’t been too terrible mentally.  The last several days have been the toughest.  But I’ve been socializing more too.  And I admit I get more irritated with rude people than I should.  I almost never respond to rude people except to avoid them at all costs.  I have enough going on already without dealing with unnecessary rudeness.

The unexplainable aches and pains are becoming less common.  I guess I’m taking more preventative measures now.  I no longer sit for more than two hours at a time. I sleep in my recliner half of the night to rest my lower back.  I sleep lying down so not to get leg cramps from sitting too long.  I take hot showers at least twice a day now, mainly to keep my joints warm and loose.  Sometimes a few minutes of hot running water on my knees, lower back, and hands will work more wonders than even a couple Advil.  And making a point to get up every couple hours to do even simple things like walk to the kitchen to get a cup of water or walking to check my mail every evening can keep my joints loose.  I think one of the problems I was having with my back and unexplainable aches was that I didn’t move around enough.  I went through a state of excessive paranoia and anxiety for much of 2017 and all of 2018.  I was scared to drive my car, I was scared to talk to my neighbors, I was scared to leave my apartment after dark, I was scared to walk my neighborhood, and I was even scared to check my mail.  Most of my mail is junk mail now that I do everything online almost.  The 1 percent that wasn’t junk mail was usually from social security or my landlady.  I always felt a tinge of anxiety with those letters, and any time I was called before anyone in authority.  I’ve had too many bad experiences with short sighted, heartless, and irritable people in authority over me.  I just don’t trust authority to not abuse their power and influence anymore.  And, yes, it is unnerving and scary.

Winter is almost over, at least according to the calendar.  And it isn’t happening too soon.  I’m beginning to get cabin fever real bad.  I guess even strong people have their breaking points.  I am convinced I would feel much better when the weather warms up and there are options to how to spend my days.

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Homebound in Winter

Been several days since I have been out of my neighborhood.  We’ve had a lot of snow and cold weather.  It has been a colder than usual January for sure.  Since I have been sitting tight and not really going anywhere, I have been living off my own cooking for almost two weeks.  Good thing I’m a decent cook.

As it is, I’m going to eventually have to get out of my neighborhood and pick up more supplies.  I’m not really looking forward to it.  As much as I enjoy the long nights and quiet of winter, I definitely don’t like winter travel.

I have been feeling mentally stable even with the lack of activity.  Fortunately I can still socialize with friends and family.  My back has all but healed up.  It took a week of sleeping in recliners but I think I’m doing better in that regard.  I’ve gotten used to sleeping in recliners so I think I’ll do this for the foreseeable future.

Haven’t been watching news or much for other tv lately.  The only things I have been watching lately are youtube shows and live sports.  And that is about all.  Been focusing more on my computer games like Civilization and Skyrim.  Unfortunately both game types can be kind of addicting and pass the time real fast.  But with the flu and other sickness going around bad this winter, it’s probably not a bad idea to stay away from people unless necessary.

We’re now three weeks into winter.  It feels longer than that.  Maybe because I haven’t been outside of town since before Christmas.  Been housebound for much of this time.  It sometimes gets kind of boring.  I feel like I should be doing more outside, at least until I look out my window and see all the snow and ice.  It feels daunting that we have at least another two months of this left.  I’m looking forward to spring.