Late August and Transitioning into Early Fall

Been staying up late most nights lately and usually sleeping until late morning. It seems to help with my depression and anxiety. I generally do better research and writing in the overnight hours when the house and neighborhood are quiet. Of course my mom worries about me keeping such odd hours and sleeping so much during the day. As of right now it’s not effecting my anxiety or even blood pressure. It seems to work for me right now.

I think I’m losing weight again after gaining 20 pounds in the first three months I moved to Oklahoma. I try not to focus on numbers so much as I do how my clothing fits, how many aches and pains I have, and how much I actually eat. Since switching to mostly meats and vegetables, I have found that I eat less often and my hunger is more manageable. I usually eat once if I’m up in the middle of the night.

I’ve been quite stable this August. Normally, August is the toughest time of year for me. Last August when I was in physical rehab was quite tough. I had issues with my roommate and my aches and pains in my feet and knees still hadn’t completely cleared. Summer 2022 was tough. I actually made my peace with the fact that I might not live long enough to move to Oklahoma. Thankfully, that never came to pass.

Mentally I have been, for the most part, more stable since I moved to Oklahoma City than when I lived-in small-town Nebraska. I always felt like an outsider in such small areas. I didn’t make many friends as I have such odd interests. Most of my friends no longer live in Nebraska. It took me 42 years to move to an urban area, but I’m glad I finally did. I would have come here several years sooner if not for the pandemic and unresolved health issues. But eight months in physical rehab seems to be exactly what I needed. I certainly wasn’t going to get the immediate and intense help I needed living in low-income housing in Kearney.

I really don’t like socializing in person as most people don’t share my interests and I don’t share the interests of most people. I haven’t sat down and watched a sports event from start to finish since 2015. And that was an in person minor league baseball game. Those are fun. And often cheap. Last time I went to a minor league game in Omaha, I was able to get a seat within reaching distance of one of the dugouts, buy two hot dogs, and a soda pop for less than 25 dollars. I’d rather go see a minor league baseball game in person than go to the movies. At least with baseball I can sit outdoors for three hours, socialize with my neighbors between innings, and crowd watch. Oklahoma City has a minor league team too. If I ever regain my mobility, I’m going to make a point of going to at least one game every summer. I like watching baseball in person more than watching it on tv. And most football games have too large of crowds for my liking.

It is obvious that summer is coming to an end. We are in the last days of August. Schools are back in session. Baseball playoffs will be starting in a few weeks. The leaves will be changing soon. I will be interested in seeing how autumn here in Oklahoma differs from back in Nebraska. Leaves in Nebraska usually start turning in mid to late September, corn harvest is in full swing by early October, and the first frost is usually by mid-October. We’ve just had a week of 100-degree Fahrenheit. Hopefully, it’s the last real heat wave for the summer. The nights are getting noticeably longer.

Been going through some of my old posts from previous years. I’m thinking about sharing some time appropriate posts from the past. With September being only a few days away, I might repost some of the blogs I wrote five years ago, two years ago, last year, etc. I started doing that some with the facebook page for this blog. And my traffic is starting to increase again. My traffic had been low during the pandemic and when I wasn’t posting regularly during physical rehab. It’s now starting to pick up again. Eventually I’m probably going to monetize the blog and see if I can make a little money on the side. I’m definitely planning on promoting more and posting more. I think I have enough materials now I should be able to do something like a Throwback Thursday every week.

Moving to Long Term Care. Changes in A Life Of Mental Illness

It’s been a long while since I last wrote. Updates are in order. Two weeks ago I called the ambulance as I was having issues with foot pain and blood pressure. In those two weeks, I got my blood pressure back under control, had over 20 pounds of excess fluids pulled out, and decided to move to a Long Term Care facility in my home state of Nebraska. After almost 18 years of living on my own, I can no longer manage my mental illness issues and physical health problems at the same time.

I am currently in swing bed in a hospital in a small town in Nebraska. I should be able to move to my permanent long term care unit (in the same town) by Wednesday June 8th. My foot pain has mostly cleared up. My blood pressure is back to normal. I am not diabetic. All my blood numbers are in safe ranges. But I can no longer manage physical health and mental health at the same time. I can no longer live on my own. I came to the conclusion I need more help than I was getting at my previous home.

My parents and my cleaning lady will start clearing out my old apartment probably on Tuesday. I decided I’m donating most of my books to the complex library. Give them more variety than romance, western, and crime dramas. I lived there almost exactly sixteen years. It feels surreal to be moving. But it needs to be done. I just can’t take care of all my issues on my own anymore.

I will be living on a ground floor, have access to a wheel chair, and the staff will cook my meals, handle my medications, and do my laundry and cleaning. It’s been a crazy last two weeks, that’s for sure. But these changes were needed. I should have moved into long term care last fall when I had my blood pressure issues. But, with covid still raging hard, I guess all of that got lost in the shuffle.