Been pretty stable lately. I imagine much of this is due to avoiding news sites and negative people. I’ve also all but abandoned social media. I have only a handful of people I even try to contact on facebook. If it weren’t for them, I would have cancelled my account years ago. I no longer comment on youtube videos or anywhere else. People are just so mean and angry all the time. It makes for a lonely existence some days. I get told all the time I need to socialize and reach out to people. There is no point to socialize and reach out if these people just make you feel worse. I’m too tired and burned out to argue about stupid crap that doesn’t matter. Anymore I feel happier when I am not forced to socialize. So much for people coming together during times of crisis. I refuse to give negative and rude people any time or effort or second chances anymore. If you can’t figure out that being angry and rude to people isn’t helpful by now, it’s never going to happen.
Mentally I’m feeling stable, at least as stable as a schizophrenic can be during a pandemic and economic depression. I think it helps that I don’t watch the news or spend much time on social media anymore. I have a few friends I hear from on facebook, but I no longer participate in any groups. I may read posted articles about science and tech, but I no longer comment on them. Too many people just looking for arguments. And I’m burned out on it. I no longer have the patience to deal with people I never met who wouldn’t dare act that way to someone in person. Over the last few years, I’ve also purged close to 80 percent of my friends’ list. So much for social media bringing people together. At least I still hear from old friends and some family.
Been out and about a few times over the last week. I still keep to myself mostly. My neighbors moved out a week ago. I’m sad they are gone. They were the best neighbors I ever had in my entire life even going back to childhood.
I have been staying up later and waking up later the last few weeks. I usually stay awake until midnight, wake up in the middle of the night at least once, and them am awake for good by 9 am. I have odd dreams, but they aren’t scary. Mostly they are about having to redo high school or college or about friends from my past.
Been cutting back on caffeine. I’m giving up coffee. It’s makes me too irritable. I mostly drink just water anymore. I rarely eat carbs. I don’t even buy bread. Most of the groceries I buy are frozen meat, canned vegetables, soups, etc. I haven’t been having problems getting what I need lately. But I still stock up on non perishables in case there are shortages again. I fear we still have a long way to go for this pandemic and depression to be over.