It is starting to look and feel like spring again. Saw my first lightning of the season on Easter Sunday. The trees outside my window starting leafing this morning. Been watching lots of baseball the last few days. And I put some of my winter clothes away.
I’m still listening to audiobooks on youtube, mostly history and economics these last few days. Listening to some old radio shows too. Listened to a few episodes of The Shadow from the late 1930s. Been sleeping a lot lately. I usually go to bed around 10pm and wake up for good around 5am. Mentally I feel pretty stable. I usually do better on days I avoid aimless social media use and news casts. Have had only one major breakdown since last fall. Late summers are usually my toughest time of year.
Still taking it all one day at a time. At this point I’ve adapted to spending most of my time alone. I no longer feel guilty for not wanting to socialize with toxic and rude people. I’m glad I can keep myself good company. Alone time doesn’t bother me anymore. Sometimes it’s when I have my happiest and most peaceful moments.
I’m still sleeping more than normal. I usually sleep ten to twelve hours a night now. But when I’m not asleep I usually want to be outside and chatting with other residents and friends. I can say, at least for now, I’m not as annoyed by small talk and complaints as I have been in months past. I don’t know if it’s the healthier diet or getting more sleep that’s helping me feel less easily irritated.
I’m also finding I just don’t play computer games for a few hours at a time anymore. I’ve recently had entire days I don’t touch the gaming computer. That’s another positive change I’ve noticed. Sometimes I’d play games to escape from rude and irritable people. But I’ve been less irritated and less bothered by rude people lately.
I’m still not going to engage in political discussions or sports fan forums. I’m on too much of a winning streak to risk jeopardizing it or trivial nonsense and tripe. I mean, does anyone really change their minds on issues because of memes, being name called, being trolled, or even by statistics? Sounds like pointless posturing and mindless tribalism as far as I’m concerned. Besides, for as much as these things get reported on, they really don’t make as much of a difference as people would like you to believe. That’s why I focus on science, tech, and medical advances. It’s too easy to get discouraged from the news as they only report on a fraction of a fraction of what’s truly going on.
I still read a lot. Been kind of lazy about my audiobooks. I’ll pick those up again in time. Things like that come and go in cycles. But I have been socializing and reading more often. I let my mind wander more often and just let it go off on tangents and just see what ideas I can come up with. I’m looking for ideas for new poems or even ideas for novel drafts. As much as I love nonfiction, I really don’t have the credentials to get published as a nonfiction science or mental health writer. Besides, I’m having more fun and getting better audiences with this small blog than I ever did the traditional writing route. We are indeed living in some amazing times my friends. It’s sometimes too easy to forget this.
Hi there, thank you for checking out my blog page where I write about Bipolar, adhd,bpd and ptsd which I struggle with daily. This blog is to both educate and give others hope. I also write about my drug addiction in hopes of giving other people encouragment and hope for a brighter, annd better future.Thank you. sincerly, Emily Thorn.