Author Archives: alifeofmentalillness

Book Review: The Millionaire Next Door by Thomas Stanley and William Danko

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If you think most millionaires drive flashy cars, wear designer suits, and live in giant houses—you’re not alone. But according to The Millionaire Next Door by Thomas Stanley and William Danko, you’re also probably wrong.

This book completely flips the script on what we imagine wealth looks like. The authors spent years studying American millionaires—not celebrities or tech moguls, but everyday people with seven-figure net worths—and what they found is that most millionaires don’t look the part. They don’t live in upscale neighborhoods. They don’t lease luxury cars. They don’t throw money around. In fact, the average millionaire is far more likely to be your quiet neighbor who’s been driving the same Ford pickup for 15 years and clips coupons every weekend.

Stanley and Danko break down seven common traits of what they call “Prodigious Accumulators of Wealth,” or PAWs. These are the people who live well below their means, invest consistently, and prioritize financial independence over status. What’s striking is that many of these people earn average or even below-average incomes—but they’ve mastered the habits of saving, budgeting, and avoiding lifestyle creep.

The book contrasts PAWs with “Under Accumulators of Wealth,” or UAWs—people who may earn high incomes but spend so much that they have little net worth to show for it. And this, the authors argue, is the real difference between being rich and being wealthy. Income means nothing if you don’t keep it.

Another interesting angle in the book is how family dynamics affect wealth. The authors talk about how many affluent parents inadvertently sabotage their children’s financial independence by giving them “economic outpatient care”—basically constant handouts that remove any incentive to develop their own wealth-building habits.

Now, as a reader, you’ll notice the writing leans more academic than flashy. It’s rich with data, charts, and case studies—so it’s not a light beach read. But it’s incredibly practical. You’ll walk away with a new appreciation for frugality, long-term planning, and the power of intentional financial choices.

The book was originally published in the 1990s, and yes, some of the numbers and references are dated. But the principles are timeless. Living below your means, saving aggressively, avoiding debt, and investing for the long term—those habits don’t go out of style.

So who should read this book? Honestly—everyone. Especially if you’re young, early in your career, or trying to reset your financial path. The Millionaire Next Door isn’t about how to get rich quick—it’s about how to build real, lasting wealth by doing the opposite of what most people think “rich” looks like.

Final Thoughts:
This book isn’t motivational in the typical sense. It’s not trying to hype you up. But it’s one of the most quietly empowering financial books out there. It teaches you that you don’t need a massive salary or a stroke of luck to become financially independent. You just need discipline, smart habits, and a willingness to ignore the noise.

If you’re serious about financial freedom, The Millionaire Next Door is a rock-solid foundation to start from.

Updates: June 19, 2025

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Updates are in order as I haven’t about my personal life in a couple of months. I’m still wheelchair bound. I almost fell getting from my recliner to the wheelchair five days ago. My knees started hurting really bad and my legs just locked up. It was a scary morning. It took a lot of effort to get back into my recliner in my bedroom. Been there ever since.

Saw a case worker this afternoon. They offered to get me more services. I’m not getting much of anything right now other than a home health nurse coming in once a week, a psych doctor doing telemedicine every three months, and a home health doctor coming in every six weeks. I can’t even get help with moping the floor or taking out the trash. Mom and Dad still do that, but both are disabled themselves and in their late seventies.

My mom had knee surgery last month. Her mobility is still limited. She has to do physical therapy twice a week until the end of summer.

I used to be in physical therapy. Three times actually since I moved to Oklahoma in February 2023. All three times they gave up on me. I was even in a therapy hospital last September. My knee pain is bad enough I need Tylenol and iboprophen three times a day. In the hospital, they stopped giving it to me even though it was in my notes that I took Tylenol and iboprophen at home. The pain, without the meds, was bad enough I couldn’t even stand up without help. Two other times I tried therapy at home only for the company to give up on me when I wasn’t making fast enough progress. Hell, one ghosted me after only one session. Haven’t heard from him in over two months.

Needless to say, I’m not high on therapy at all. I don’t mind doing the work. I do mind people giving up on me without notice. It’s like they quit on me because I don’t fit into a nice, neat box.

The thing I really need help with is cleaning. Since I can’t get to the bathroom on my own (no handicap access in my house), I have to go into the bathroom in a bucket and have my parents dump it. Beyond disgusting. I can’t even get help with moping the stains off the floor in my bedroom. Needless to say, my room smells like a barnyard, and no one wants to help clean it. Both of my parents are elderly and disabled. They can only do so much. But, damn, I am tired of living around my own pee and poop. People in prison get better services than I do. In short, my life isn’t much better than being in prison.

Book Review: Confessions of an Economic Hit Man (3rd Edition) by John Perkins

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John Perkins’ Confessions of an Economic Hit Man has, since its first publication in 2004, stirred deep discussions about the hidden machinery of global economic influence. With the release of the 3rd edition, Perkins revisits and updates his now-infamous exposé, incorporating new examples and reflections that bring the narrative firmly into the post-pandemic world and the era of climate change and geopolitical realignments.

A Global Economic Thriller — with a Purpose

The book reads like a political thriller, except it isn’t fiction. Perkins recounts his career as an “Economic Hit Man” (EHM), a role in which he says he was tasked with persuading developing nations to accept massive loans for infrastructure projects. The catch: these projects were designed to benefit multinational corporations while leaving host countries burdened by unpayable debt — a form of neocolonialism masked as development aid.

In the 3rd edition, Perkins goes further than previous iterations, expanding his scope beyond the Americas and Southeast Asia to include insights into modern-day China’s Belt and Road Initiative, corporate-driven climate destruction, and the growing resistance movements that are emerging around the globe. He also connects the dots between economic manipulation and environmental degradation, calling out the role of what he calls the “Death Economy” in fueling both economic inequality and ecological collapse.

What’s New and Notable

The expanded chapters in the 3rd edition include:

  • Reflections on COVID-19 and how the pandemic exposed economic fragility.
  • Analysis of the climate crisis as both symptom and accelerator of exploitative global systems.
  • Updates on countries like Ecuador and Panama, with new stories illustrating ongoing economic subjugation.
  • A call to action: a blueprint for transitioning from a “Death Economy” to a “Life Economy.”

These updates make the book more than just a historical account — they turn it into a manifesto for systemic change.

Strengths

  • Firsthand Insight: Perkins’ confessional tone and detailed anecdotes provide a rare insider’s perspective on how global financial coercion works.
  • Relevance: By tying the tactics of the EHM network to current global issues like climate change and corporate globalization, the book remains timely and urgent.
  • Moral Reckoning: Perkins doesn’t just point fingers; he implicates himself, which lends credibility and complexity to his narrative.

Weaknesses

  • Lack of Independent Verification: Critics have long pointed out that many of Perkins’ claims are difficult to corroborate independently. Some names and entities are pseudonymized or generalized, which may raise questions for skeptical readers.
  • Repetition: Readers of previous editions may find some material reused or rehashed. While this can be helpful for newcomers, returning readers might skim these sections.
  • Simplistic Dichotomies: While the “Death Economy vs. Life Economy” framework is compelling, it sometimes oversimplifies nuanced geopolitical and economic realities.

Final Verdict

Perhaps more than any previous edition, the 3rd edition of Confessions of an Economic Hit Man serves as both a warning and a guide. Perkins doesn’t just tell us how the system works; he urges us to change it. The blend of memoir, geopolitical analysis, and moral call-to-action makes this edition essential reading for anyone seeking to understand how economic power is wielded in the 21st century — and what we might do to reclaim it.

Book Review: Surviving Schizophrenia: A Family Manual by Dr. E. Fuller Torrey

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Dr. E. Fuller Torrey’s Surviving Schizophrenia is widely regarded as a foundational text for families, caregivers, and professionals navigating the complexities of schizophrenia. Now in its seventh edition, this book has stood the test of time as one of the most accessible and comprehensive guides on the subject.

A Compassionate and Practical Resource
Torrey, a psychiatrist with decades of experience in both research and clinical practice, approaches schizophrenia with deep empathy and clarity. He recognizes the confusion, fear, and emotional toll the illness can take on patients and families alike. His tone is reassuring yet candid, never sugarcoating the severity of the disorder, but always grounding his insights in hope and realism.

Structure and Content
The book is well-organized, covering a wide range of topics: definitions and diagnosis, symptoms, causes, treatments, navigating the mental health system, and tips for coping day-to-day. Torrey writes in plain language, making complex psychiatric concepts accessible without being simplistic. He intersperses scientific explanation with anecdotes and case studies, which humanize the condition and illuminate the real-life challenges of those affected.

Strengths

  • Comprehensive Scope: Whether you are just starting to learn about schizophrenia or are dealing with it firsthand, the book provides an in-depth overview of everything from medications and side effects to hospitalization and legal rights.
  • Family-Focused: As the subtitle suggests, it’s a manual for families. Torrey consistently centers the experiences of loved ones, validating their concerns while empowering them with tools and knowledge.
  • Historical and Political Context: Torrey doesn’t shy away from discussing the failures of the mental health care system, particularly in the U.S. He offers critical insights into deinstitutionalization, housing, and the legal system that add valuable context.

Criticisms and Limitations
Some critics have found Torrey’s views on involuntary treatment and the use of medication to be somewhat rigid or overly reliant on traditional psychiatric models. While he supports the use of antipsychotic medications as essential, alternative viewpoints (such as more psychosocial or recovery-oriented models) receive less attention. Additionally, the book’s medical tone and length may be overwhelming for readers in the midst of a crisis.

Conclusion
Surviving Schizophrenia remains one of the most important and enduring resources on this difficult and often misunderstood condition. Dr. Torrey’s combination of clinical rigor and personal compassion makes the book not only informative but deeply humane. While it may not fully reflect newer perspectives in psychiatric care, it is nonetheless indispensable for families seeking to understand and support a loved one with schizophrenia.

Recommended for: Family members, caregivers, social workers, students of psychology/psychiatry, and anyone seeking a comprehensive introduction to schizophrenia.

Book Review: The Richest Man in Babylon by George S. Clason

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The Richest Man in Babylon, first published in 1926, is a timeless personal finance classic that continues to resonate with readers nearly a century later. Through a collection of parables set in ancient Babylon, George S. Clason delivers practical and enduring lessons on wealth-building, financial responsibility, and personal success.

The book’s genius lies in its simplicity. Clason avoids modern jargon or complex investment strategies and instead distills financial wisdom into easy-to-understand principles. These principles—like “pay yourself first,” “live below your means,” “invest wisely,” and “seek wise counsel”—are conveyed through engaging, story-driven narratives. The titular character, Arkad, once a humble scribe, becomes the wealthiest man in Babylon by adhering to these basic but powerful ideas.

One of the most compelling aspects of Clason’s work is its universal applicability. The advice transcends time and culture, making it as relevant today as it was during the Great Depression when it gained popularity. Readers from all backgrounds can find value in the book’s messages, especially those seeking to improve their financial literacy or build a foundation for long-term wealth.

Clason’s use of antiquated language—modeled after Biblical English—might feel unusual at first, but it adds a certain gravitas and charm to the stories. For some readers, this style may be a hurdle, but those who stick with it often find it enhances the moral tone of the lessons.

In terms of structure, the book is concise and to the point. Each parable stands alone but contributes to the overarching theme of financial empowerment. It’s an ideal read for busy individuals who want digestible, actionable advice.

Verdict:
The Richest Man in Babylon is a must-read for anyone looking to take control of their finances. Though it draws from the past, its principles are forward-looking. Whether you’re just starting your financial journey or reevaluating your current habits, Clason’s timeless wisdom provides a solid foundation. It’s not just a book about money—it’s a manual for a life of discipline, purpose, and prosperity.

Book Review: The Singularity is Nearer by Ray Kurzweil

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Ray Kurzweil’s The Singularity Is Nearer (2024) revisits and updates the visionary themes of his 2005 bestseller, The Singularity Is Near, offering a compelling, albeit controversial, roadmap to a future where artificial intelligence (AI) and humanity converge.

A Vision of Accelerated Evolution

Kurzweil maintains his earlier predictions: that AI will achieve human-level intelligence by 2029 and that by 2045, humans will merge with machines, enhancing our cognitive abilities exponentially. He argues that exponential growth in computing power, advances in deep learning, and breakthroughs in brain-computer interfaces are converging to make these predictions more feasible than ever.

He introduces the concept of connecting our neocortex to the cloud, allowing for a seamless integration between human brains and AI. This, he suggests, will lead to radical human enhancement, extending lifespans and revolutionizing aspects of life from medicine to creativity.

Optimism Meets Skepticism

Kurzweil’s unwavering optimism is both the book’s strength and its Achilles’ heel. While he provides a wealth of supporting evidence, drawing from real-world advancements in AI research, biotechnology, and robotics, critics argue that his timelines may be overly ambitious. Some reviewers point out that the book reiterates topics from his previous works without offering substantial new insights.

Moreover, while Kurzweil touches on potential risks—such as uncontrollable AI and rogue nanotechnology—some feel he glosses over pressing issues like climate change and the socioeconomic impacts of rapidly advancing technology.

Final Verdict

The Singularity Is Nearer is a thought-provoking exploration of our potential future, blending scientific analysis with speculative optimism. For those intrigued by the possibilities of AI and human enhancement, Kurzweil offers a fascinating, if sometimes contentious, perspective. However, readers seeking a balanced discourse that equally weighs the potential perils alongside the promises may find the book lacking in critical depth.

How Someone with Schizophrenia and No Job Can Prepare for the AI Revolution

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The rapid rise of artificial intelligence (AI) is transforming every aspect of life—from how we work and learn to how we communicate and get healthcare. For someone living with schizophrenia and currently unemployed, the idea of keeping up with these changes might feel overwhelming. But the truth is, there are small, realistic steps anyone can take to prepare for the AI revolution—and they don’t require perfect mental health, a job, or a tech degree.

Here’s a five-minute guide to help you start preparing in a way that respects your pace and your well-being.

1. Understand That You’re Not Alone

First, know this: many people—whether or not they have mental health challenges—feel uncertain about the future of AI. You are not behind. You are not excluded. The AI revolution isn’t just for tech experts or people with jobs. In fact, AI could improve access to mental health care, education, and even new kinds of flexible, remote work that are better suited for people dealing with conditions like schizophrenia.

2. Start Learning, One Step at a Time

You don’t need to understand how AI works to benefit from it. But learning the basics can help reduce fear and build confidence. Consider watching short YouTube videos or listening to podcasts that explain AI in simple terms. Focus on questions like:

  • What is AI?
  • How is it used in everyday life?
  • How could it change the job market?

Some platforms, like Khan Academy or Coursera, offer free courses you can take at your own pace—even if it’s just 10 minutes a day.

3. Focus on Skills That AI Can’t Replace

While AI can do many things, it struggles with emotional intelligence, empathy, and human connection. These are areas where you can shine. If you’re able, consider building soft skills such as communication, problem-solving, or even peer support for others with mental illness.

Many communities have support groups that offer basic job-readiness training or volunteer opportunities. These experiences can help you build structure and confidence without the pressure of a traditional job.

4. Use AI to Help You, Not Replace You

AI tools like ChatGPT can help with job preparation, scheduling, writing, and even emotional support. For example:

  • Need help writing a resume? AI can draft it.
  • Want to practice job interviews? AI can simulate them.
  • Struggling to organize your day? AI can suggest a routine.

Using AI as an assistant—rather than seeing it as competition—can empower you to take small steps toward employment, education, or creative projects.

5. Protect Your Mental Health First

Schizophrenia is a serious condition that often requires consistent care. Preparing for the AI revolution doesn’t mean pushing yourself beyond your limits. Prioritize stability and wellness. Make sure you’re keeping up with your treatment plan and staying connected to your care team.

If you ever feel overwhelmed, pause. AI will still be here tomorrow. Progress can be slow and nonlinear. That’s okay.

Final Thoughts

You don’t need to become an expert in AI. You just need to be open to learning, a little at a time. With the right tools, mindset, and support, even someone facing the challenges of schizophrenia and unemployment can find their place in a changing world.

The future isn’t about competing with machines—it’s about being more human than ever. And that’s something you’re already doing.

Preparing for an AI-Driven Future: A Guide for People with Disabilities

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As artificial intelligence (AI) becomes increasingly integrated into everyday life—from voice assistants to healthcare diagnostics to job applications—it’s crucial for people with disabilities to proactively engage with this transformation. While AI offers opportunities to improve accessibility and independence, it also poses challenges that need to be navigated thoughtfully. Preparing for this future involves a mix of advocacy, skill-building, tech literacy, and community engagement.

Here’s a roadmap to help individuals with disabilities prepare for and thrive in an AI-centric world.

1. Understand What AI Can (and Can’t) Do

AI is already embedded in tools like screen readers, smart home devices, and transportation apps. It powers chatbots, predictive text, voice recognition, and even some medical devices. But while AI can enhance independence, it’s far from perfect. Voice assistants may misinterpret speech impediments. Automated hiring tools can inherit biases. Understanding both the capabilities and limitations of AI is key.

Tip: Follow accessible tech news sources or organizations like the Partnership on Employment & Accessible Technology (PEAT) to stay updated on trends affecting disability communities.

2. Build Digital Literacy

Digital literacy—the ability to use technology effectively—is foundational. Many AI tools require a base level of comfort with digital platforms. For those unfamiliar with smart devices, software updates, or accessibility settings, now is the time to learn.

Actions to take:

  • Take free courses through platforms like Coursera, edX, or Microsoft Learn.
  • Practice using virtual assistants (like Siri, Alexa, or Google Assistant) and screen readers (like NVDA or VoiceOver).
  • Learn the basics of how AI systems work—this demystifies the technology and reduces fear.

3. Advocate for Inclusive AI Design

AI isn’t neutral. It reflects the biases and assumptions of its creators. When people with disabilities are not included in the design process, AI tools often fail to meet their needs—or worse, discriminate against them.

Get involved by:

  • Participating in user testing programs for tech companies.
  • Providing feedback on accessibility features.
  • Supporting or volunteering with organizations that focus on inclusive tech development, such as the Inclusive Design Research Centre or Disability:IN.

4. Embrace Assistive AI Tools

AI is revolutionizing assistive technology. Tools like Seeing AI (which describes surroundings for the blind), speech-to-text apps, and AI-driven prosthetics are changing lives. As these tools become more mainstream, they can help level the playing field.

Explore tools like:

  • Voiceitt – for people with non-standard speech.
  • Aira or Be My Eyes – for visual assistance via AI and human agents.
  • Otter.ai – for real-time transcription in meetings.

Note: Some tools are free, while others may require funding. Look into local disability advocacy groups or government programs that may subsidize technology costs.

5. Prepare for Workforce Shifts

AI is automating many jobs but also creating new ones. For people with disabilities, this can be a double-edged sword. The key is to prepare for shifts in the job market by identifying roles that are resilient to automation or that leverage human strengths, like empathy, creativity, and problem-solving.

What to do:

  • Consider remote-friendly tech jobs like digital marketing, coding, content creation, or customer service.
  • Learn to use AI productivity tools like Grammarly, ChatGPT, and project management software.
  • Look for inclusive employers who actively hire and support people with disabilities in tech-forward roles.

6. Protect Your Rights

As AI makes more decisions—from job screening to benefits approvals—it’s vital to understand your legal rights. AI systems must still comply with disability laws like the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) in the U.S., or equivalents in other countries.

Steps you can take:

  • Know how to request reasonable accommodations when AI-based systems create barriers.
  • Join advocacy groups that monitor AI-related legislation and fight for equitable technology policies.
  • Report instances where AI tools seem to discriminate or exclude based on disability.

7. Stay Connected

No one should have to navigate the future alone. Peer support and knowledge-sharing can make a big difference. Online forums, local disability organizations, and social media groups offer opportunities to share tips, raise concerns, and celebrate breakthroughs.

Consider joining communities like:

  • Reddit’s r/disabled or r/AssistiveTechnology
  • Disability Twitter (#DisabilityTech)
  • Facebook groups focused on accessible tech and AI

8. Think Long-Term

AI isn’t just about tools; it’s about systems and infrastructure. Cities are becoming “smart,” with AI controlling transit, services, and safety features. Consider how your environment may change in the next 5–10 years, and plan accordingly.

Questions to ask:

  • Will my mobility device interface with smart city infrastructure?
  • Are smart home features accessible and affordable?
  • Can I vote, travel, or receive medical care through AI-driven systems?

Planning now means fewer disruptions later.

Conclusion

AI is not just coming—it’s already here. For people with disabilities, it holds tremendous potential to increase independence, access, and opportunity. But only if we shape it thoughtfully, inclusively, and intentionally.

Preparing for an AI-driven future means staying informed, getting involved, and speaking up. It means learning to use new tools, advocating for your rights, and helping design a future where everyone—regardless of ability—can thrive.

I Can’t Stand Living With My Parents Anymore. I’m Ready to Go to a Handicap Accessible Home

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I’m at my wits end. I can’t stand living with my elderly parents anymore. I’m tired of their complaining and irritability. My dad is almost deaf but he still tries to talk to people in different rooms even he’s almost deaf. Even hearing aids don’t help. He talks real loud and groans real loud when in pain, which is almost all the time anymore. I’m tired of his complaining. I’m tired of him not being able to hear me.

My mom isn’t much better. She can barely see yet refuses to wear glasses. She can’t even read a recipe card now. At least she doesn’t drive much. I don’t know why she won’t swallow her foolish pride and get glasses. She’s being really stubborn about this even though it’s obvious she needs glasses.

Physically I can stand up, transfer to the bed and wheelchair. But it’s pointless as all the doors in the house are too narrow for wheelchairs. I can’t even get into the bathroom. I’m maxed out on over the counter pain medications, force myself to do exercises even when sitting down, but I still have lots of pain when I try to stand up and walk.

I’ve given up on my family making the house wheelchair accessible. I just want to go to a home that is wheelchair accessible. I don’t care if it is assisted living or long term care. I keep getting turned down for homes. Some homes say I am too young. Others won’t take mentally ill people. Some say I’m too heavy. I mean, what nursing home doesn’t have lifts? And I don’t need any damn lifts. I just need a place that’s wheelchair accessible. Why is this so tough to understand.

At this point I don’t really care about losing most of my funding to go to a home. It’s gotten unbearable here in my parents’ house. My dad has lost patience with me and is making unrealistic demands. My mom isn’t as helpful and more irritated than she was even three months ago.

In short, I decided I want to go to a home. I want to have wheelchair accessible doors and hallways again. I want to have conversations with people who aren’t senile, stubborn, and bitchy even if it is just staff members and not residents. I’m tired of this shit. I never should have left Nebraska when I already had wheelchair accessible housing. Burns me that most houses and public places aren’t really wheelchair accessible.

And the worst part is my parents are starting to act like it’s all my doing that I ended up in a wheelchair, especially my dad. Can’t even rely on family anymore. And placement hasn’t come through even though we’ve been looking since last September.

Finding Strength: Managing Health and Family Doubts

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Took a couple of days off this weekend. Back to the grind. The last several days I have been up most of the night and gotten my best sleep in the afternoons. I still sleep like ten hours a day, but most of it is during daylight hours.

I’m back on the Turmeric. I think it’s helping with the bad knees and ankles. I started taking Vitamin B and Vitamin D supplements a couple of weeks ago. I think I have more energy and optimism overall now.

I think I am losing weight. If the way my clothes fit is any indication I really am. Most of my shirts are quite baggy now. Might have to drop down a shirt size. It also looks like I’m carrying less fat on my abdomen. My calves are less swollen than six months ago as are my thighs. I don’t eat much anymore besides protein and vegetables. I try to avoid sugar and carbs.

Got turned down for a long term care facility. I’m not shedding any tears over it. In reality I don’t want to go to long term care. Ideally I would just stay in my current house and just widen all the doors to be wheelchair accessible. My parents aren’t on the same page as I am. They aren’t enthusiastic about making such modifications to the house.

I have come to the conclusion that I don’t want things to be easy. I want to struggle to get my walking ability back. I want people to doubt me. I want to be fought every inch of the way. I want even my own family to actively work against me. They originally doubted I could graduate college with schizophrenia. Proved them wrong. They originally thought I couldn’t live alone with schizophrenia and on disability pension. Proved them wrong for over seventeen years.

Most people thought I made a mistake when I went to long term care to get better. I was flat out told I would die in that facility. Well, eight months later I walked out the front door on my own two feet. I went in that facility on a hospital stretcher. I walked out on my own two feet after only eight months.

I’m facing doubts again. After this third stay in the hospital, I lost all of my mobility. Physical therapy hospital didn’t help at all. Neither did the home therapist. They all gave up on me too soon. Sure, it took a few months. But I am back to walking short distances within the same room. I can transfer into the wheelchair. It is a foldable wheelchair so I can get it through doors. I could already get everywhere in the house if the family would just break down and pay for the modifications.

As far as modifications go, all they would need is to widen all the doors, put a railing in the bathroom, and get some of the clutter out of the house. My parents have a hard time throwing anything away. I swear if I outlive them, I’m going to rent a dumpster and throw tons of Knick knacks and crap in. I refuse to deal with it after they are gone. I won’t live the life of a hoarder. Was forced to do it as a kid. Forced to do it again after being on my own for seventeen years. After my parents are gone or moved to a nursing home, never again.

Oddly I’m not feeling hurt or betrayed by my family not believing in me. In some ways they have never believed in me. I’m going to get mobile again, at least for short distances. I am going to keep losing weight. My goal is to eventually get back to the same weight I was as a freshman in college. I could easily walk three to five miles a day back then.

I might never be able to walk that far again. But, dammit, I refuse to give up. Between being severely bullied by my school mates as a kid, twenty five years of schizophrenia, three years of congestive heart failure, surviving eight months in a long term care facility, moving two states away to be closer to my brother (at least he believes in me), and seeing crazy ass tech advances in terms of AI, automation, biotech, fintech, etc.; I’ve come too far to cash out now. Give up? Not happening as long as I got breath in my lungs.

I don’t know why my parents refuse to make the modifications to the house to make it handicap accessible. Honestly, I don’t care. I’m going to get better and mobile in spite all the road blocks people keep throwing at me. I want to be doubted. I want to be told I am a liar and full of shit. It just makes me more determined to keep beating the odds. Beating the smart money has been the mode of operation for my entire life. Personally, I think the “smart money” ain’t as smart as it’s cracked up to be. I just keep proving them wrong because that’s what I’ve done my entire life.