You Might Be A Nerdy Redneck If….

I’m taking a detour from my mental illness posts for this entry.  I readily admit to being a nerd.  I always have been and I always will be.  Since I grew up in a farming village in Nebraska and live in a smaller college town surrounded by corn fields and cattle ranches, I also could qualify as somewhat of a hillbilly or redneck.  Accordingly to Jeff Foxworthy a redneck is simply someone with an obvious absence of sophistication.  I admit I am not as sophisticated as my college friends from California or big foreign cities.  So I am often finding myself stradling the fence between unsophisticated country people and intellectual types.  I have both brainy and country interests.  I love reading.  I love fishing.  I have experimented with writing computer code.  I have also fired rifles.  I have watched the late summer meteor showers at my family’s acreage after days of helping my dad fix fences.  I often lift arm weights while watching Star Trek reruns.  I have gone to high school football games and art galleries on the same weekend.  But just for fun I thought I’d post a list of “You Might Be A Nerdy Redneck” in the same manner of Jeff Foxworthy’s “You Might Be A Redneck” jokes.  So here goes

You Might Be A Nerdy Redneck If……

 

Your working laptop computer sits on top on a nonworking one

You are afraid that Google’s self driving car will end NASCAR

You plan on using a 3D printer to make your next fishing pole

You have binge watched both Doctor Who and Duck Dynasty

You have a GPS on your John Deere tractor

You have both Stephen Hawking and William Faulkner on your bookshelf

You think the Gadsden Flag  and Hunter Orange look cool under a black light

You have ordered anything in camouflage on amazon

You have used a smart phone while riding a horse

You always carry a Swiss Army knife and a scientific calculator

You can write computer code and overhaul an engine

You have ever chewed tobacco in a university lecture hall

You played both Dungeons and Dragons and football in high school

You have ever sited Sun Tzu’s Art of War, plot lines from Star Trek,  country music, and Saber Metrics for baseball in the same conversation

You can easily recite Monty Python lines and George Patton quotes

You can build your own computer and do your own carpentry work

You are anxiously waiting for Tesla to build an electric pickup truck

You think ‘Smokey and The Bandit’ should be remade with a self driving 18 wheeler

You like both Japanese Anime and John Wayne

You have attended a Comic Con and a monster truck rally within two weeks of each other

You bought a piece of Ikea furniture, assembled it without reading the directions, and use left over parts in other home improvement projects

You know how to use both a slide rule and moonshine still

You want to be the first person you know to buy camping equipment and hunting supplies from Bass Pro Shops with Bitcoin

Advertisement