I’ve been feeling quite calm and content since Thanksgiving. I really haven’t left the complex that much but I do keep myself occupied. I still watch a lot of educational videos on youtube and curiosity stream. Most people will find me odd for saying this but I love learning new things. Sure the things I learn may not help me make more money or land a dream job, but so what? Why does everything I do have to have a dollar sign attached to it? Why can’t I do something just to make myself smarter and more interesting? I know plenty of well to do people who haven’t voluntarily read a book since high school. But these people are one dimensional, boring, and really don’t know what’s going on in the world outside of their workplace. You may make a lot of money but that doesn’t make up for the fact you may be boring, uninteresting, a bad parent, or your marriage is falling apart. Most of my critics think I’m wasting my time and efforts learning extemporaneous things and not doing practical things like chasing women or complaining about my coworkers. But I don’t care. I’ve reached the age where I’m focused on what I need to do to advance my work and purpose and everything else is just background noise.
As it is I consider this blog and my own enlightenment my career now. I don’t care that I don’t make much money from it. Besides money isn’t backed up by anything tangible as most countries haven’t been on a gold or silver standard for generations. Your money is fake. Your money is less real than a porn star’s body parts. And that is why I don’t care that I don’t get much money from this blog or my other outside projects. My critics just love to brag about how much they work in one breath and then complain about how much they hate their jobs in the next. Robots and automated programs will be taking many jobs within the next twenty years. Someday that job you lord over others to brag about how much you are earning your keep will be taken over by machines. Then what? Then you will be in the same place with the “welfare bums” and “lazy idiots” you have damned for generations.
I really have no patience for people who brag about how much they supposedly work and about how irreplaceable they are. Screw you, we are all replaceable. There have been tens of billions of humans that have lived in the history of our species, individuals are not that special. Many jobs will be replaced by machines within the next generation. Many millions of people will be unemployed without their consent. And here you are complaining about people that can’t find jobs to support themselves or resorting to welfare programs. Well, screw you! We will probably all be on some kind of tax payer sponsored support within the next thirty years, especially when automation takes off.
Many people think we’re going to bring back millions manufacturing jobs and it’ll be like the go go 1950s once again. First of all, most manufacturing jobs are getting to the point that machines can do them better than any human can. Even Chinese factories are putting in robotic manufacturing processes as we speak. It’s not like an average person just out of high school is going to work the same factory job for forty five years and then get a pension anymore. Those days are as dead as the horse and buggy. And it’s stupid and pointless to try to bring those days back. If we are to compete on a world stage, we’re going to have to update our entire education system and retrain millions of workers. It angers me to think that I spent my educational career in a mediocre system that didn’t challenge me or even try to prepare me to compete on a global scale. Heck I feel like I was cheated by my school systems. There is more to life than whether you can throw the football a long way or become prom queen.
We aren’t going to bring back the “good ol’ days”, and they weren’t that good to begin with. I have no patience with people who have an overabundance of nostalgia for the past and think that the old days were some magical time where people respected others and an honest day’s work meant an honest day’s pay. In most cases, an honest day’s work meant you didn’t get whipped by your slave masters for most of history or beaten by your alcoholic husband. I hate nostaliga and I am really sick and tired of people longing for a past that never existed in the real world. Do your homework already!
I guess I shouldn’t rant that much about people who won’t do their homework. But it does get old after awhile. It does scare me that even though I’m a schizophrenic on disability pension I do more homework into the state of science, technology, and world affairs in a typical day than most people do in a month. The internet is a great tool to learn cool and great things. Use it for some constructive purpose already. The internet was not designed just so you could troll people who don’t agree with you. Dealing with stupid people who think they’re something special because they have the internet (which they had nothing to do with in making) gets tiring and discouraging from time to time. I guess this is one of those times I’m just discouraged with so many people in my life acting and thinking like a bunch of barbarian brutes. I will feel better eventually but I just need to vent right now. Even mentally ill people should be allowed to have moments of weakness. Screw the stiff upper lip at all times!
As someone with a mental illness/disability who doesn’t work, I’ve had so much vitriol directed at me. I’ve been called a leech, a parasite and a spoiled ungrateful brat. I’ve been told that I’m wasting my life and not contributing to the world. It’s really upsetting and its taken a huge toll on my self esteem.
Not working has made me feel so worthless. It’s only recently that I’ve started to accept the fact that I never have and probably never will be employed, that I’ve come to realize that I don’t need to let that define my self worth and that I can contribute to the world in other ways.
Plenty of people manage to have jobs and yet not be assholes to me for not having a job. I’ve noticed that the people who are assholes to me for not having a job and who act as though having a job is the be all end all of having a successful, fulfilling life have failed spectacularly in some very important areas of life outside the workforce.
Anymore when people ask me what I do for a living I just tell them I do computer and internet work from home. It’s not a complete lie but I don’t usually mention that I’m on disability insurance for mental illness. Most people don’t seem to accept the idea that things can go wrong in the human brain even though it’s far more complex than any organ in our bodies. People really aren’t that informed about mental illness issues but most people aren’t taught this growing up. I imagine with the spread of the internet and more people with mental illness telling their stories, society at large will be forced to confront these issues much like civil rights, women’s rights, and GLBT rights. Change does happen but it is painfully slow for those like us who are ahead of the curve. Thanks for reading.