Another day of being mentally stable. Haven’t had any kind of breakdown in over three months. It helps that I avoid stressful people and conflict as much as possible. Do most of my socializing online these days. It’s just easier to type what I’m thinking than just verbalize it. My illness makes me pick up on subtle cues very easily. I often pick up conflicting cues. Makes it really tough to read people, especially in person. 

Since many of my in-person experiences have been quite negative over the years, the default is that when someone goes out of their way to see me, I assume I’m in trouble. My family thinks it’s tragic that I always assume the worst when people come to see me in person. It’s even worse when I am summoned into an authority figure’s office on their terms. I’m keenly aware of power dynamics to the point it’s crippling.