With the exception of my parents and a couple close friends, I have essentially put most of my social interactions on hold for the last several days. I have also avoided most social media. Anymore I essentially sleep during most of the daylight hours, do my grocery and outside shopping at night, and stay awake during most of the overnight hours reading online articles, watching youtube videos, and reading.
As odd as my schedule is, it seems to be working. I had some problems several days ago but fortunately they were short lived. Unfortunately with my schizophrenia it can sometimes be weeks of calm stability mixed in with minutes of anxious crisis. I am glad that my family and close friends can endure my breakdowns without taking them too personally. I do have this nagging fear in the back of my mind that someday I’m going to end up having a psychotic breakdown in public someday and win up in prison or shot. I hope this is just a symptom of the paranoia aspect of my illness and this never happens.
Been feeling pretty decent since the weekend overall. I don’t really socialize with anyone in my apartment complex or even really in person much. But as much as I’ve had to deal with rude, angry, and dumb people over the last several months, maybe a break from human interaction is in order. Dealing with dumb and rude people is tiresome and tedious. I don’t see how normal people can do it day after day, year after year.
As I’ll be up for the rest of the night, I’m going to make a trek to the all night deli and pick up some good Chinese. If I can’t sleep regularly I just as well keep up healthy eating.
I seem to sleep best from 4am-noon. I find a calm in the middle of the night that I can’t find during the day.
I’m glad for you that you’ve found something that works for you. Hang in there! Spring is 40 days away and being outdoors may be helpful for better sleep and sunshine vitamin D. If you are walking or have a book people will probably not chat.