Being Ignored While Reaching Out

Saw my parents a couple times over the last few days.  It was good to have visitors for an extended time.  I hardly get any visitors anymore.  I guess I have hit the age where most of my friends are busy with their careers and families.  Other than a few friends who are divorcees, I have only one close friend right who has never been married.  Unfortunately he is quite busy with work and lives in another country.

I feel like I miss out on a great deal because I don’t have a family and can’t work.  Most of my friends conversations revolve around work, spouses, and children.  And sadly, many of my friends are also depressed and anxious.  I guess with most of my friends being in their late 30s and early 40s, I imagine many are experiencing mid life crisis type things.  That and pretty much everyone is more stressed now anyway.  There are times I am quite stressed too even though I have no job or wife or kids.  I spent most of this spring in a deep depression where I would go entire days without leaving my apartment.  Some days I slept twelve to fifteen hours a day because sleep was the only time I didn’t feel anxious or depressed or irritable.  I was isolating from neighbors and avoiding people because I was depressed and anxious and I was depressed and anxious because I was lonely all the time.  And on it went in a vicious cycle.

I miss my friends and family.  I miss having in depth and meandering conversations that cover many different topics.  About the only person I have those with anymore are my mother.  Everyone else seems to be hung up on work, debts, family, etc.  They have become too busy earning a living that they forgot why they stay alive.  Naturally I can’t talk to any of my friend about this.  Because they are too stressed living paycheck to paycheck to engage in anything besides work and sleep it seems.  And I have been having a great deal of paranoia lately that my friends really don’t like me that much.

This paranoia might spring from that most of my friends don’t reach out to me, at least not lately.  Anytime I try to reach out to friends, I usually get no response.  When I do get responses, they are usually short answers or complaints about how bad their lives are and how lucky I am.  It’s really discouraging and sad.  We tell people in distress to reach out for help all the time.  Yet, what is the point of reaching out when most of time we are ignored or made fun of?  And people wonder why, in spite of our prosperity and having all but conquered absolute poverty, we are unhappy and depressed.  We are unhappy and depressed precisely because we don’t make efforts to connect to people or answer those who are lonely.  We bought into the whole rugged individualism to where we believe we have to just bear it if we can’t solve our own problems.  This is really heartless and stupid.  In our age, we are far more interdependent than any of us as individuals or nations realize.  And until we acknowledge this and adapt accordingly on an individual, civilizational, and species level, we will only see our issues of anxiety, depression, and loneliness become far worse.  We are already seeing epidemic levels of stress related illnesses.  If mental health problems got even a fraction of the attention that physical illnesses like cancer got, we would be well on our way to alleviating these problems.  Yet, we as a society and individuals choose to make them worse in those around us and in ourselves.


6 thoughts on “Being Ignored While Reaching Out

      • I get that. I don’t understand why people treat us this way if we had a physical illness they’d probably stick around and offer supoort, but not when it comes to mental illness

      • Mental illnesses are still mysterious ailments, partly due to the brain being the last true frontier of medical science. But the more mentally ill people talk about their experiences, the more people will know. I’ve been writing on mental illnesses for six years now. Just in that time, I’ve noticed more people being more open about their struggles and issues. It is a slow process, but I am beginning to see some progress in how just even I am received by others. Twenty years ago, I didn’t tell anyone about my problems. No one talked about mental illness in those days. But with many people feeling more stressed and anxious now in 2019, the public at large is taking notice and realizing these are real problems that have to be dealt with. More people are hurting than we realize

      • This is true, but 15 years ago there was a lot more help here in the UK and less toxic positivity that’s spread across the internet like wildfire a few years ago. I feel that we’ve taken one step forward to take 4 steps back it’s much lonelier our three than it was 15 years ago too

  1. I hear ya! Hang in there. The world is chaos so expecting a madsive change in the socoett around us is a bit much for anyone. Sounds like you are focusing on you which is AWESOME! I am always trying to focus on the things that make my life with mental illness easier and sometimes not engaging with all of society is benefical. Just don’t close off from everything and everyone, there could be someone out there you could really help. You never know!

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