I just realized that I don’t post as much to this blog as much as I used to. I just really haven’t had that much drama in my life lately. I’m not complaining. Drama and mental illness are vicious tag team partners that are always together. Normally with mental illness, it has been quite rare that I don’t have at least a minor flare up every few days. It’s just that as I have aged and matured I don’t act on these impulses nearly as much anymore. I have learned that yes, it is alright to feel bad. Yes, it is alright to fume and quietly rant to yourself. This is especially true if it helps me cope with mental illness and I don’t take out my issues on other people. Mental illness is scary enough for me. I can’t imagine how bad it is to someone who isn’t familiar with the ups and downs.
As it is as I have aged and been under treatment for most of my adult life, I have fewer ups and downs than I did in my teens and early twenties. It is actually quite nice to not have problems like I had in the past. Yet it did come at the cost of almost isolating myself for much of my life. Fortunately for myself I can keep myself in good company for days at a time if need be. It is kind of a lonely life, but at least I have always been one who preferred my own company or small groups as opposed to being Mr. Social Hour. I enjoy living a drama free life. At least, my life is as drama free as someone with schizophrenia is going to be.