It’s been a more peaceful and quiet week this week than most of my previous weeks. I still don’t leave my apartment more than a few times a day. But I am talking with my friends and family more over the phone and online. I am starting to cook most of my meals and am eating less now. For several weeks I was essentially living off fast food because I was too depressed to go grocery shopping. No doubt I gained weight. Now the struggle of taking that weight off begins.
Bought a couple new computer games and a couple new books this week. They came just in time for the weather to turn cold. We had our first snow in my hometown this week. It came about right on schedule after weeks of warmer than usual fall weather. I’ve been breaking up some of my old routines and reading more lately. I try to have one major reading or writing project every winter. One year I read a couple major philosophy works. Another winter I started writing a novel. And many winters ago the seeds that would later become this blog were planted when I started writing essays about life with schizophrenia.
I admit to being lazier than usual about writing this week. But things have been more peaceful and settled the last several days than they had been in months. I’m enjoying the colder weather and I have most of my winter provisions gathered again. Hopefully I won’t have to get out much this winter. I usually avoid travel if there is a lot of ice or snow on the roads. So getting these new computer games and books will go a long way in keeping me occupied this winter when it’s too cold to go anywhere.
One of my biggest problems of the last several months was keeping my mind occupied with things other than the circus side show that was the last election. I avoided a lot of people because that was all most people wanted to talk about. It got old several months ago and I started isolating. Unfortunately my mind being what it is craves mental stimulation. I have to find something to always be researching or looking up. For about two years I have been throughly researching science and technology advances. I had forgotten how much I loved science classes as a kid. But I have come to where I have researched those topics more in the last two years than most people do in a lifetime.
Before I researched science advances I was studying economic history. Spent a couple years studying old economics books and theories. It cured my itch for new knowledge and encouraged me to get out of debt and save some emergency money. And my thirst for science knowledge might lead me and my father to building some homemade solar panels for his cabin at the family acreage. He’s not going to go completely off the grid but he’s toying with the options that he could with a few adjustments if needed. Our family has always had back up plans on top of our back up plans. We don’t like leaving things to chance. So even though winter is near we are already making plans for next spring and summer.
It’s been a few smooth days for me mentally. I have made my plans for the winter. I plan on reading several books and mastering some new computer games. I will keep writing this blog. Fortunately with mental illness it’s not all depression and anxiety all the time. But the depression and anxiety do make me enjoy the calm and peacefulness more than most people who are well adjusted. I know that problems will come up again, probably sooner than I would like. But for now I’m just enjoying the few days of peace and calm.