In previous posts I have written about my life experiences as a mentally ill individual. In this post I’m attempting to describe the symptoms of my particular illness, rather than just the results of the symptoms. I have done this in a poetic form. So here goes.
Schizophrenia and What it Means
Schizophrenia means a broken mind,
A mind broke off from the real world.
Unable to separate the delusional
from the factual truth.
It also means crippling depression,
And mourning for dead potential;
The loss of a life that never was.
Schizophrenia shattered mind unable to process
most kinds of stress or anxiety
without ghostly hallucinations chanting their condemnations,
Causing wave upon wave of unrelenting anxiety
to slam upon an already tormented, battle weary soul.
How do I explain to old friends,
family, and strangers I meet
I am not well, have trouble holding a job,
When on the surface I look normal and well?
Lurking in the depths of my mind
The monster schizophrenia causes havoc,
launching an all out assault on my mental senses.
My abilities to socialize, to handle stress, to live normal,
I’m not lazy, I’m not a freeloader.
I’d do anything to be rid of this silent monster.