Had a psychiatric appointment this morning. I’ve been having my ups and my downs this winter like I always do. The voices aren’t as bad most times now but they do come creeping back in at times. It’s irritating to think that after fifteen years of working with this mental illness I still have problems with being agitated by the voices. But even they aren’t as overwhelming as they once were.
The highs are better and the lows are not as bad as they once were. Even my really bad times don’t last as long. Used to be I’d have entire days that were awful. Now it usually lasts only a couple hours at most. Haven’t lost weight this winter but I haven’t gained any since winter really started. My blood pressure is better. I guess if I have to struggle losing weight then I have to relax and drop the blood pressure.
Since winter has started I’ve read at least three regular books and several audiobooks via youtube. I’ve also gotten back into poetry writing. It had been a couple years since I was serious about that. I know I’ll never make money from poetry but it is a good writing exercise for days I don’t blog. Haven’t been out and about as much this winter as previous winters because of the increased snow and ice. Times like this winter sometimes make me miss having a job to get me out of the apartment a few hours a day.
We’ve had a few decent weather days lately. It’s our first real mid winter thaw and we’re only four weeks from the start of spring. It seems we traditionally had several days in a row above freezing, usually in late January. Where I live we didn’t have that until this week, the third week of February. I actually don’t get depressed by being inside all the time in the winter. I use the time indoors to read and catch up on writing. I may be lazy about exercise in the winter (more so than I would like), but days like today are a reminder that spring is only a few weeks away. That alone is often enough to make me hopeful.