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If I get to tell the young kids thirty years from now about how I spent the Pandemic and Great Reset, I’m so going all George Patton inspiration speech the day before D Day on this shit. I hope you find the humor in it.

I will be able to tell my hypothetical grandkids that, “Well, your grandpappy survived the pandemic and the Great Reset of the 2010s and 2020s without getting so much as a sniffle. I was also a part of a resistance to the rising tides of authoritarianism that was rampant among his family, neighbors, and friends in Red State America. I actually convinced a few of the insanity of their ways and got them freed of the MAGA cult.”

“Grandpa also ran errands for disabled shut in neighbors while making a small profit on Robin Hood with my stimulus money. I was a fan of Wall Street bets and a Diamond Hands crazy son of a bitch named Roaring Kitty. I was a small part of the Apes and Wall Street bets and Dumb Money who helped bring down a few shady hedge fund managers and made themselves a few bucks in the process. Nothing like using the free market itself to punish the worst abusers of said free market.”

“Grandpa also survived heart failure, lost over170 pounds, moved out of rural Nebraska (yes, Grandpa was part of the ‘rural flight’ migration to urban areas) to the greener pastures and red dirt of Oklahoma City. I had some really cool friends, and actually started turning a profit with his crazy son of a bitch mad man rants.”

I won’t have to say, “Well, your granddaddy pissed away a golden opportunity to reinvent himself during the covid pandemic and Great Reset.”

Obviously, it’s not as cool as surviving the Dust Bowl and bringing down fascists and tyrants in Nazi Germany and Imperialist Japan. But I guess it’ll have to do for us “middle children of history.”