Been more discouraged than usual lately.  I stay home almost all the time anymore.  It’s too discouraging venturing out among people now.  I’m scared of people in general anymore.  I’m even scared to do anything on social media besides talk to a couple friends.  Sometimes I’m even scared to write in this blog anymore.  I’m tired of being condemned a snowflake or triggered just for the crime of having feelings and emotions.  Triggered am I?  Just try living with schizophrenia for 30 days, let alone 20 years, and you will see triggered.  I find it odd that we don’t value emotion, reason, and logic in people but are trying to build machines with these abilities.  We want our machines to be human and we want our humans to be machines.  Why is this?

I have long since given up on using reason and logic in trying to figure out my fellow humans.  I can’t make sense of people.  I have never been able to.  I don’t understand office politics.  I never have.  That’s why I failed in every job I ever had.  I don’t understand why it makes some people feel important and powerful to degrade and bully others.  I despise bullies.  Have my entire life.  Being a jerk to others, especially those not in position to fight back, has never impressed me.  But it does lots of people for some reason.  And from what I’ve seen, the grown ups are far worse than the kids.  Yet, the adults feel like it’s their God given duty to treat young people like trash and the end of civilization.  What gives?  I swear for being an advanced species, we truly hate our offspring.  And people wonder why I will never have kids.  Even though I’m almost 40, I still remember being the scared stiff 11 year old getting bullied for being smart and unathletic.  It seems to me most adults don’t remember what it was like to be kids.  Either that or they don’t care if kids suffer.  The kids are better than the adults now.  I mean, why else would 70 year old politicians slander teenagers and college kids trying to make a world a better place?  It seems that the higher up people get in places of power, the more we allow them to abuse us.  Stockholm Syndrome, anyone?

And these kids that we gladly unload on, they are right in seeing how absurd most of what passes for acceptable behavior from our elders and leaders really is.  While I am in favor of using physical discipline on children (at least as long as it doesn’t get excessive or is used every day), most adults I know could use a few whippings themselves.  I swear we hold six year old children to higher standards than we do presidents, popes, CEOs, etc.  Personally, I think this is absurd.  But what do I know?  I’m just an unemployable middle aged schizophrenic on the internet.