Fall is here. The leaves are turning, the nights are getting longer, and the weather is cooling. Had to run my heater the last few nights. I do enjoy this time of year. It’s been several days since I last wrote. Updates are in order.
I haven’t had much to report the last few days because I have been feeling quite stable since my last breakdown a couple weeks ago. I now make a point to leave my apartment at least once a day. I usually buy groceries for two weeks at a time. Since winter is only a couple months away, I’ll have to start restocking my cold weather supplies soon. I haven’t been to my therapist for a few months simply because I really don’t have much to talk about with him. At this point in my illness, I really don’t have much of a desire to be social to strangers. I don’t really desire to leave my apartment much after dark, not because I live in a bad neighborhood, but because I don’t like driving at night anymore. It’s been a couple years since I went to the movie theatre as it seems that half of what’s shown anymore are remakes I saw the first time in my youth. If I want to watch something anymore, I just go to youtube or netflix. If I want to socialize I just call up my friends and family on the smart phone. I still avoid Facebook some as some people still can be quite nasty to each other over the pettiest differences of opinions. But I’d rather people be jerks to each other online than in person. I think one of the problems is that much can be lost in translation just with written text. I have thought about starting a youtube channel and doing a podcast through that as I think some of what I write can be lost in the reading.
I don’t mind not socializing much at this point in my life. I have always been an introvert who preferred having a few truly loyal friends and family members as opposed to having lots of casual friends. In my family, it seems that people are either extreme extroverts or extreme introverts. But sometimes I am my favorite company. I don’t mind going entire days without talking to people. I do like technology enough that I’m not going to be a modern Henry David Theorau and build a cabin on a lake and retreat from civilization. It can be tough being an introvert in a place and time that values “people person” types and extroversion. I have gotten in lots of trouble over the years for trying to keep to myself and just do my tasks at almost every job I ever had. It just isn’t enough to do the job and do it well anymore. But I know in previous eras I wouldn’t have had a job, I’d be in a mental asylum and probably would have had a short and chaotic life. It would have been much rougher in the past for someone like me. That’s why I’m not nostalgic.